rmncwrtr Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, May 26, 2008 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Classes begin Monday, June 2, 2008 Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays Step by Step with Slide Presentation Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor Pictures and Explanatory Graphics Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM ... Class 6 Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM . Class 7 Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down. Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. Class 8 Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost Real Life Testimonials Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined. Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations 4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours. Class 11 Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined. Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7 :00 PM Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 14 The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pink Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 that's funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Your funny.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 it's "you're" not "your" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Your not..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
builder206 Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Iron my shirt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Conway Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 whats a not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendershot Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Rebuttal Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays -Not enough cubes to fill up the cooler in the trays, hence bulk ice when you need it. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? -Agreed, we multitask while taking a load off, it can be changed. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? - Place a sticker of a fly in the bowl, aim and fire. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor -There is an "in-between" pile. Do not mess with our system Class 5 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? -No, that's how kids earn their allowance. Class 6 Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. -It gives the woman the delusion of control, let her chew on it. Class 7 Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down. -It was lying on the floor, or the kitchen table, who moved my cheese? Class 8 Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. -Maybe she will initiate it this time. Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost -Real Men make the woman ask, so they don't have too. Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? -Rolling eyes and heavy sighs are allowed. Class 11 Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques - "Whoops I left my wallet at home, sorry dear" Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. -Blackberry, baby, blackberry Class 14 The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. -It's not just for boiling water anymore!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lI1|1! Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 i thought there would be a class on muff diving Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 its unnatural, when pissing, NOT to piss all over the place for jeebus' sake, lions piss on themselves intentionally - at least we've evolved beyond that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murraysovereign Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 I wouldn't mind letting them have the remote, either, if they'd learn how to use it properly. Women seem to use the remote solely to find out what's on, whereas men understand the real utility of the remote is that it allows you to find out what else is on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
builder206 Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 It's about the entire viewing experience, all wavelengths, not just *a* channel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Your not..... What about my not? I'm not sure i have any. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairweather Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Here is a compromise that the wives will find is sure to work: 1.) Don't nag. 2.) Have sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
builder206 Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 2.) Have sex. With you, or just anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairweather Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 I wouldn't mind letting them have the remote, either, if they'd learn how to use it properly. Women seem to use the remote solely to find out what's on, whereas men understand the real utility of the remote is that it allows you to find out what else is on. Aiming the remote at your wife while she is speaking and repeatedly pushing the "mute" button does not work--nor is it recommended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairweather Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Mmmmm. Apple juice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairweather Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 2.) Have sex. With you, or just anyone? Looks like my thesis needs more work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 men understand the real utility of the remote is that it allows you to find out what else is on. You mean incessantly changing the channel every five seconds until all 200 channels have passed, then starting over to see what they missed? I'd rather watch Oprah for two hours than put up with Attention Deficit Remote Disorder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canyondweller Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Why don't we talk about women, over the age of 25, who don't know how to fucking cook. When do we talk about that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
builder206 Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Yeah, no shit! Iron my shirt then fix me a sammich! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 You mean incessantly changing the channel every five seconds until all 200 channels have passed, then starting over to see what they missed? I'd rather watch Oprah for two hours than put up with Attention Deficit Remote Disorder. I hear that if you stop sitting down to pee Doug, this feeling you have about remotes and watching Oprah will pass! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bug Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 OK, now wait a minute. That "pee all over" thing is just as bad with girls. It's just that it goes spraying out the front under the seat. I have seen the evidence. So while we men might miss "a little", at least we are further away. What's your excuse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 You mean incessantly changing the channel every five seconds until all 200 channels have passed, then starting over to see what they missed? I'd rather watch Oprah for two hours than put up with Attention Deficit Remote Disorder. I hear that if you stop sitting down to pee Doug, this feeling you have about remotes and watching Oprah will pass! Hey, I had to endure the channel stutter surf for a full hour and a half back in October when my buddy first got satellite TV. I swear he never spent more than a minute on any channel in that hour and a half. I had to give up and read climbing magazines, it was that bad. And hey, sitting down to pee means you don't have to open your eyes, makes it easier to go back to sleep. Hmmm, maybe that answer's Bug's question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.