Letters to God

[klenke]

Dear God,

 

Pub Club next Tuesday. Be there!

Not that I've ever been to Pub Club myself.

 

Sincerly,

Ordinary Mortal

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

Dear God,

 

Overhanging limestone sport crag with half-inch glue-ins every six feet in downtown Portland.

 

And feed the hungry.

 

Love,

Dr. Flash Amazing

[iain]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dr Flash Amazing:

[QB]

Overhanging limestone sport crag with half-inch glue-ins every six feet in downtown Portland./QB]

---

You'll need to kick in global warming to a frenzy to get a new inland sea deep enough for a subtropical reef system to flourish. Then cut back on the CFC's let the ice form again in the polars, let the reef bury itself and let karst take care of the rest! No ice climbing, unfortunately, for the next several million years though. I'm afraid pioneer place would be a shambles too.

[Dru]

DFA if you can't wait for glue-ins you could try a strap-on.

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

You'll need to kick in global warming to a frenzy to get a new inland sea deep enough for a subtropical reef system to flourish. Then cut back on the CFC's let the ice form again in the polars, let the reef bury itself and let karst take care of the rest! No ice climbing, unfortunately, for the next several million years though. I'm afraid pioneer place would be a shambles too.

 

Nonsense. God can just plunk the thing down in Pioneer Place, leaving room, of course, for the Starbucks.

 

[ 11-06-2002, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: Dr Flash Amazing ]

[iain]

Starbucks is the first thing to go. Metro needs to set up those drinking fountains to fire out coffee. think how much would get done!

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

Now you're fuckin' talking. DFA will use that as a key plank in his platform for the 2004 Oval Office bid!

[DPS]

Dear Dog,

 

I'm not sure if I really believe in you or not, but I have been unable to sleep at night and I have trouble reading. Please help.

 

Signed,

 

Dyslexic, agnostic insomniac.

[jon]

Dear God,

 

Please stop these stupid server errors.

 

Please get rid of politics, it hurts my brain hearing and reading about it.

 

Please bring freshiez so I can use my new AT setup.

 

Please tell my roommates cat to stop barfing all over the house.

 

Please find me a good deal on some ice tools because I'm already poor from the AT setup and this website.

 

Thanks, jon

[rbw1966]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dr Flash Amazing:

Nonsense. God can just plunk the thing down in Pioneer Place, leaving room, of course, for the Starbucks.

---

Could you put in at least one trad route so I can run laps on my lunch break? Considering my location that would be about as convenient as possible.

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

Dear God,

 

Please make half of the crag out of stellar granite with splitter, gear-eating hand and finger cracks of varying difficulties, so the traddies can get some too.

 

Thank you,

Dr. Flash Amazing

[sk]

Dear God

 

Help me help me help me!

 

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

 

sk

 

p.s I didn't make that up... so I wont take credit...I know you know who did... but I still mean it

[ILuvAliens]

Dear God

 

Do you like to climb trad or sport routes.

 

Your secret admirer

 

P.S. We are sorry!

[Mr._Chips]

quote:

---

Originally posted by ILuvAliens:

Dear God

 

P.S. We are sorry!

---

Love that trilogy (well, at least all 5 parts)

[texplorer]

Dear fictional non-existant entity,

My pathetic little carbon based life-form here on the miniscule rock in space would like you to consider placing a 6000ft (forgot the cubit translation) piece of granite with cracks of varying difficulties reaching the summit here in Oregon upon which there awaits springs flowing with TG stout and maybe even some of that LaBat crap for the canadians. Oh, and do you think you could make the back of my hands like shoe leather and while were at it give me the ability to send all the sport routes with trad gear. Oh, and can I have a little alpine hooker to call my own too.

Thanks-

His Holiness - the Texplorer

[layton]

Dear God,

 

Please let us sorry-ass punks who decided that our lives are worhtless without killer ice in the mountains have the best season ever with everything in from this weekend until the middle of june.

 

I have contacted you competition, who informed me that we could strike up a deal. I am writting to ask you for a similar bargin...Necromicon's soul in exchange for my request.

 

Thanks,

Mike

[Cpt.Caveman]

Dear God,

 

Please have a mini ice age until May. I have my caribou pelts to keep me warm and plenty of ice gadgets to get around.

 

Thanks,

Your Friend Caveman

 

P.S. why don't you bring great floods to the land of Iraq and burn all the terrorists alive.

 

[ 11-06-2002, 12:47 PM: Message edited by: Cpt.Caveman ]

[Dru]

dear god

 

between you and me your performance to date has been merely mediocre

 

if you want to jazz things up i suggest having beer fall from the sky instead of rain.

 

yours truly

 

pat buchanan

[thelawgod]

God:

 

I've got plenty of and a new Feathered Friends jacket--I'll be OK if you make it really, really cold out . Since we're all out of work over here in the PNW anyways, a good ice season would really lift our spirits (anyways, we need something to do while we're not working).

 

Also, if you could like have Bridal Veil Falls (below Mt. Index) come in like one time this century, that'd be cool.

 

TLGod

 

[ 11-06-2002, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: thelawgod ]

[iain]

just raid nordstrom's for the n.f. metrx jackets and hit up costco for a shopping cart full of 9-volt batteries. good to go then.

[Dr_Flash_Amazing]

Blasphemous heathen. Careful you don't get a smiting!