Crazy Colleagues?

[snugtop]

Who else has em?

 

I used to work for a belligerent ex-Ice Capades Star who told me how he got lipo to get fat sucked from his butt and inserted into his cheeks. He still looked like Skelator so it didn't really work.

 

I worked with a woman with 18 cats. She had personal hygiene issues.

 

I worked with a woman who had a phone sex line as a side job.

 

I worked with a man who swore he'd seen a Sasquatch.

 

You? (Careful if you're posting from work)

[olyclimber]

Up in B'ham I worked with a guy who was given to violent fits of rage at no notice what so ever. He worked in the recieving department at the Homebase that used to be up there, and I remember him having one fit at a pallet of lightbulbs...which he proceed to wrap up and put up in top stock...I doubt there was a bulb intact in the whole pallet. You just stayed the hell out of his way until it was over.

[ScottP]

I work with a guy who will, during department meetings, suddenly burst out with laughter over something going on inside his head. Creeeeepy.

[EWolfe]

I worked with a crazy carpenter this last year, he was my boss.

 

He would mutter to himself constantly, and throw out an occasional "BillyBob!". Who knows what that meant.

 

A few years back the voices in his head told him to cut a ring of bark off of all the trees in downtown Bellingham. Most of them died.

His workspace was a disaster area, he spent half his time looking for misplaced tools.

 

Great carpenter, though.

[catbirdseat]

Man, I really feel left out. I've never had colleagues nearly as interesting as you folks. Maybe that's because I am a chemist. Doh!

[Dru]

I knew this guy in the federal Fisheries Department who would show up barefoot and wearing leis, and give flowrrs from it to women at the meeting. He was a Fed and basically had enough seniority through his union to be unfireable. We all just tried to work around him and/or not tell him about meetings until they were over.

[griz]

There was a guy i worked with who was pretty decent and smart but had a missing screw, for sure. He would give just as equal weight to a story he read in the NY times as he would the National Inquirer. So you could be having a good conversation about the Tsunami (for example) and then he would talk about the mermaid that was found in the debris or something. It was odd.

He also talked about his multiple alien abductions and his friendship with Jim Morrison too.

[chris_w]

When a Colleague of mine would get bored in a meeting, he would bring out his swiss army knife and start trimming his finger nails. He would put the cuttings in a pile on the table till the end of the meeting and then put them in the trash can.

[minx]

One of the top 10 posters at cc.com works for the same company I do

 

[EWolfe]

One of the top 10 posters at cc.com works for the same company I do

 

 

 

Who's the Psycho?

[ChrisT]

cbs, right?

[Dru]

Maybe she works with the nodder

[Stefan]

A colleague of mine would piss in his thermos bottle during the nights while on Denali.

 

He would pour it out in the morning and reload the container with hot chocolate.

[snugtop]

well, pee is sterile, right?

[griz]

::placevomitgreamlinhere:

 

pee is sterile when it initially leaves the body but not after being exposed to the world.

 

fuckin groooooooooooooosssssssssssssssss

[EWolfe]

When I worked in the fish business, there was this manager guy who smoked 3 packs of Pall malls straights a day. He would literally suck down a cigarette in three rastaman-like direct-lung pulls. He also drank coffee all day, then immediately switched to seven-and-sevens after work.

 

We thought he was crazy, and were amazed every day when he showed up for work.

 

I once knew this guy who had a pee-bottle in his rig...

[jordop]

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Edited June 4, 2021 by jordop

[griz]

"supervise"... is that what they call pimping now?

 

bitch slap one of yo ho's for me will ya?

[Dechristo]

I recollect an endless procession of crazy fucks I've worked with. A lot of the manifest neuroses, no doubt, have roots in their Daddies swinging the gate of whoop-ass wide-open and beatin' the shit out of 'em over the slightest perceived infraction. Fear-based, yup, most of 'em that had problems with authority were fear-based in their rational. These poor men would lie their asses off, in spite of witnesses and/or logic to deny their involvement in the slightest fuck-up. I mean, it's not like their jobs were on the line. They could not allow themselves to be culpable in any manner... sounds like a prototypical politician, eh?

 

Then there was the guy who acted, dressed, and talked like Rambo on steroids - just the hint of question of his manliness would prompt a loud pronouncement of how fuckin' much a man he was compared to the squat-to-piss offender. And yet, the guy was squeamish beyond belief. Bodily fluids (blood, snot, feces, you get the picture) sent him over the edge. At lunch, I watched for a number of days in succession as he would remove and discard one slice of bread from his sandwich, fold over the remaining slice to envelope the contents, and then he'd consume the wad. Curious, I asked,

 

"what gives?"

 

His reply, "bread makes ma shit float... ah cain't stand it when ma shit floats."

 

The guy had to be on the absolute verge of filling his pants before he'd step foot in a Porta-John. Whenever that woefull day came when he'd absolutely need to shit, the poor fuck would sit in there, gagging as if he had a tird sitting on the back of his tongue, holding the door open with an extended leg.

 

I tricked him, before he knew its identity, into holding one of my severed toes lost to frostbite (it's black with the bone sticking out the one end... hard to identify unless you look close). He thought it was a part of an eagle as I keep the toe in a collection of talons. When I told him what he had in his hand, he threw the thing on the ground and tried to cuss me out between hurls. Two hours later, at lunch, I noticed he had a sandwich bag covering his hand.

 

"What gives?"

 

"Ah ain't touchin' ma foood with the same hand that held that black piece of shit a yours with the bone stickin'... urp... ahhhhrrgg..."

 

He couldn't finish describing the toe without a gagging fit.

 

The man's excess of squeamishness didn't end with bodily fluids. There he was, staggering, bent over double, trying to puke his shoes, all the while begging me to stop telling of - believe this - being intimate with women that didn't shave their legs or armpits.

[crazyjizzy]

CBS

 

Maybe it is you that your colleagues are talking about. The crazy ones don't think they are.

[swaterfall]

I worked with a guy who hated the blue jays that would walk on his roof. So one day he blasted one of them with a BB gun and put it in his freezer. But he really couldn't handle killing things. So then, whenever he heard the blue jays on his roof, he would pull the deceased one out of his freezer and lob it onto the roof to scare the other ones away. Oh yeah, he had tied a string around the dead one's leg so that he could yank it off and put it back in his freezer for safe keeping.

[Dave_Schuldt]

I work with a woman who takes litium AND prozac. She's a bit spacey.

I have also worked with homos (M & F & 1???), achoholics, dope dealers, pot growers, a Mormon, Cambodians, people who don't speak english, people on work release and other folk so strange I never could figure out what they were into.

[glacier]

I work with a woman who takes litium AND prozac. She's a bit spacey.

I have also worked with homos (M & F & 1???), achoholics, dope dealers, pot growers, a Mormon, Cambodians, people who don't speak english, people on work release and other folk so strange I never could figure out what they were into.

 

Yeah, you really have to worry about those Mormons.

[AlpineK]

I work with a woman who takes litium AND prozac. She's a bit spacey.

I have also worked with homos (M & F & 1???), achoholics, dope dealers, pot growers, a Mormon, Cambodians, people who don't speak english, people on work release and other folk so strange I never could figure out what they were into.

 

I knew there was a reactionary conservative inside you Dave.

 

My ex boss had a number of quirks. Most of them are pretty funny, but you would have had to been there.

 

One thing that does stick out is the time the company went out to a breakfast meeting. My boss ordered his meal from the waitress and then yelled at her, "...,and bring it to me on one plate. I don't like this two plate crap."