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  1. 1. Do I?

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Mike--you should listen to Rob. He knows what he's talking about. Just because you "treat a woman like a woman" does not mean you treat her as a subordinate or as anything less than you.


There are regional differences of opinion on that issue. Women in the PNW want/are more comfortable with independance than in other regions. In my experience.


IMO, universally, a woman wants a man who's confident and comfortable with who he is, and romantically interested in her. A man wants a woman to be emotionally and physically interested in him. Neither wants a clinger or someone who telegraphs uncertainty. I don't think any of that has changed in the past thousand years.


There's also sometimes a wide gulf between what someone professes to want in a mate, and what they really want. Don't let that fool you.


Of course, Layton is right, it's probably not a good idea to take advice from the rest of us fuckers!

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The "let's have sex", predatory approach seems to be not working (this probably only works for individuals with specific qualities), so maybe you ougta try just building up your "base".


Don't size up every woman for sex before you even meet them. Instead of limiting yourself to women who are sexaully appealling to you, just make friends with any women who are friendly to you. If someone seems unfriendly, then leave them alone. You don't need the abuse.


Soon, you'll know lots of women and once in a while some may be romantically interested. You'll probably even have some busybodies fixing you up with their friends.


This is a long-term approach and requires patience and willpower. Stop reading porno, try to shove that lust somewhere else, and just meet people rather than potential sex-partners.


When it finally rains, it will probably pour.

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Slain Man's Family Was Wary Of Son's Girlfriend

December 13, 2004

By DAN UHLINGER, Courant Staff Writer


TORRINGTON -- A New York college graduate who had recently moved to

Connecticut to begin his new career was remembered Sunday as a loving,

religious man who would help anyone.


Police said Brian Kimble, 22, of 99 Cherry St., was killed Saturday

afternoon by a hammer blow to the back of his head by a woman he had

been dating. Yong Mi Olsen, 38, of 60 Kimball Drive, New Britain, was

charged with murder and was being held with bail set at $2 million. She

will be arraigned today in Superior Court in Bantam.


Police said Kimble was found in the living room of his apartment after

Olsen walked into police headquarters and admitted killing him. He had

been hit more than once in the head, police said.


Police were investigating and said they could not give any further



The victim's father, Kevin J. Kimble of Rochester, N.Y., said police

investigators told him that Olsen said she lost control after seeing her

photograph removed from a picture frame, picked up a hammer used for

rock climbing and struck her boyfriend.


Police said they could not confirm the father's statement because of

the pending investigation.


Brian Kimble graduated in May from Clarkson University in Potsdam,

N.Y., with a degree in mechanical engineering. He started working in

September for Timken Co. of Torrington, an industrial bearing

manufacturer, where he had worked previously in a temporary position as

part of a college cooperative program.


"Brian, by anyone's standard, was about the most loving guy you would

find walking down the street. He was quick to help anyone. He had a

passion for mountain climbing and a strong relationship with the Lord,"

the elder Kimble said.


Kimble said he and his son were very close and they spoke for more than

two hours a few days ago. Brian had been trying to end the relationship,

but Olsen kept pursuing him, his father said.


"They had some disagreements and a couple months ago they agreed to go

their separate ways. But she would call and come around. It wasn't

good," Kimble said.


His son was 6 feet 4 and Olsen was a "peanut." Kimble speculated that

his son was struck after he turned from Olsen.


Kimble said his son and Olsen, an avid hiker, met about a year ago at

an indoor climbing wall. He later brought Olsen to Rochester to meet his



"I don't know a lot about her, but I'm brokenhearted to say she was

here with her feet under our table more than once," he said.


Kimble and his wife were troubled by Olsen, who gave inconsistent

stories about her background, and by the 16-year age difference.


"This lady was living in a full circle of falseisms. I said, `Brian,

you got to get away from this lady before something happens.' It was a

relationship we were discouraging from the get-go," Kimble said.

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Once I stopped caring about women, they came in record numbers. The less I shaved, the more I just spoke my mind, the less I cared, the more that were interested in me. Go figure. I think when your happy with yourself, more people will be happy with you.


Nothing sexier than aloofness.

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You need to be 100% happy with who you are, before someone else can be happy with you. Many MANY people in this world pull the I'm incomplete without someone bullshit card. Thats shit. You need to make yourself happy first. Get involved in activities that make you happy, be completely selfish for a while...have fun!! Those same activities will lead to new experiences, and hopefully new pleasures. Do what-ever it takes to make you happy. Then...stay happy. People are attracted to happy, fun, complete people. The last thing anyone wants to hear is "I'm not complete with-out someone". Yuk. I completely agree with RobBob and RBW1966 as a single, independent chick that lives in the PNW...yes...I am independent. No I don't need anyone in my life...but YES, I love it when men open doors for me, are romantic, and respectful. Just because you open the door for me doesn't mean your implying I can't do it myself...it's an act of respect. We recognize and appriciate that. The biggest turn on for any woman (IMHO)is confidence....NOT COCKINESS. It's a fine line...but it makes all the difference in the world. There is life before, during, and after all relationships. LIVE IT!

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k. I'm fired up..sorry...One more thing...Wouldn't you rather be completely happy....by yourself, than miserable in a relationship that wasn't meant to be?? EVERYTHING happens for a reason. EVERYTHING. Sometimes it's hard to see, and sometimes it takes a while for it to become clear, but in the end...everything works out for a reason.

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I love how a lot of the advice on this thread is contradictory. This can only serve to illustrate the fact that there are no rules. I like watching people play out the scripts and roles they learned from previous relationships as if nothing has changed. "My last girlfriend liked pancakes so I will make them for my new girlfriend's birthday." There is something amusing about the romantic failures of others.

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