Dwayner Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Call us deadbeats, but some of us think this "Rockfest" thing this weekend is a bit much. You think the Mountaineers crowd out the climbing areas? Well think about this dang deal in Leavenworth this weekend...the ultimate goal is to get you excited so you can BUY MORE CRAP!!! It's going to happen whether we like it or not so me and my buddy "pope" are putting on our own counter-event....it's called Dwayner and Pope's Goodtime Boulderin' Rodeo. This is how it works: me and pope found an old mattress near the railroad tracks by South Tacoma Way in Tacoma. It's got some major pee-stains and a few cigarette burns but otherwise, it will hold a tumble off a boulder like few others. Here it is (the one on top): On Saturday, look for the mattress strapped to the top of one of our vehicles or pull over to the side of the road when you see the two of us ferrying "the pad" to a new site. We will be setting it up below some of the choicest of bouldering routes in Icicle Canyon. To lesten impact, we are limiting the Rodeo to Gurlz only. There will be a glass pickle jar nearby and we will be charging 50 cents a plop or you can get a punchcard: 3 plops for $5. Sit-starts are encouraged and ladies may bring their boyfriends for an extra-dollar providing the boyz shout classic calls of encouragement....you know, stuff like, "send it!" and "dyno for the mono-doight!" The money accumulated will go to a good cause: you see, Dwayner and pope are now addicted to those new Taco Bell Enchilada Chicken and Southwest Steak Bowls. mmmmm! And we've developed a nasty habit. Listen! It's symbiotic....you get some bouldering safety, and we fatten up for mountaineering excellence....everybody wins! Sure beats this nonsense: More details to follow. - Dwayner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erik Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 now that is some classic dwayner!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 plab. i'm there. i can contribute a second matress from the old frat house, the one affectionately known as teh zook mattress where many a triple play have occured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Wow, Dwayner, your wit and humor keep outdoing themselves. I can understand why you'd be bitter, not getting laid in twenty years can do that. And how DARE those boulderers have fun! They should all be shot! You're getting old, fag. Find a new punchline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squid Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Let's call it 'mattress-palooza' and invite some bitchen' bands to play! We could invite some vendors to sponsor it, too. I know a guy who makes cool chalk bags out of recycled stuffed animals. He includes secret pockets where you can hide your stash. I'm down with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted June 5, 2003 Author Share Posted June 5, 2003 Sphinx said: Wow, Dwayner, your wit and humor keep outdoing themselves. I can understand why you'd be bitter, not getting laid in twenty years can do that. And how DARE those boulderers have fun! They should all be shot! You're getting, old, fag. Find a new punchline. "Sphinx...you are a humorless, ignorant bore." And look whom we've rounded up to play at our Rodeo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Your maturity is astounding. Thanks for providing such an excellent role model. You know, many people climb sport just so they won't have to run into you at the crags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Dwayner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlpineK Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 I do find some of Dwayner's diatribes about sport climbing to be predictable and boring; however, unlike Sphinx, I thought Dwayner's post was funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Thumbs up big guy, sounds like a grand event. Will you and Pope autograph a Taco Bell Grilled Steak Stuft Burrito wrapper for me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Dwayner takes the prize for the creative use of graphics in telling a whopper, er, story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Attitude Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Recycling. It's very PNW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGowans Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Dude, I'd pay to see some hapless bastard plunge into the mattress full of jizz, beer, pee, and an entire assortment of juices and concoctions. I'd pay most dough though to see Sphincter Boy wrapped up in it and tossed into the Wenatchee River for an impromptu white water pinball game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa_Eagle Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 the matress isn't there to protect your fall, it's there to encourage you not to fall onto it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 JGowans said: Dude, I'd pay to see some hapless bastard plunge into the mattress full of jizz, beer, pee, and an entire assortment of juices and concoctions. I'd pay most dough though to see Sphincter Boy wrapped up in it and tossed into the Wenatchee River for an impromptu white water pinball game. I pack GregW's .357 mag for a reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 greg doesn't have a .357 doomas. he has a pipsqueek .9mm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 A .9mm? You couldn't kill a snafflehound with a .9mm. The .357 will take care of all you gapers with power to spare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr._Natural Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 where is greg_W? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erik Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Mr._Natural said: where is greg_W? reality.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-rock Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 And on that note.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr._Natural Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 going somewhere or just saying hi? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted June 5, 2003 Author Share Posted June 5, 2003 You know...we're just trying to have some fun here, but this guy Sphinx is getting a bit over the top and takin' this schtick way too seriously. Check out these recent quotes. A little commentary follows. "I can understand why you'd be bitter, not getting laid in twenty years can do that." Commentary: "getting laid" or not is, like, so frat-boy!You wouldn't know and it ain't your bidness anyway. "And how DARE those boulderers have fun! They should all be shot!" Commentary:It's O.K. to be LAME in this country! Really! Boulder on! Have fun! "You're getting, old, fag." "Your maturity is astounding." Commentary: Very mature of you to use the term, "fag". If you are not getting old, than you are either making no progress or regressing to childhood. Where do you stand? "Thanks for providing such an excellent role model." Commentary: Sorry to disappoint you. I'm not here to be your role model. "You know, many people climb sport just so they won't have to run into you at the crags." Commentary: Simply not true. Tell ya what, Sparky...you can start bitching when I somehow prevent you from clipping bolts or bouldering. Until then, maybe when you see the name "Dwayner" as the source of a post on cc.com, you should just skip it and move on. We're good sports, though. If you happen to swing on by our "Rodeo", we'll give you two free plops. ahoy! - Dwayner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattp Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Its OK, Dwayner. Sphinx is just sore about not being invited to give the keynote address at the Rockfest Alternative. Calm down, and make some space on your program, and everything will be OK. Like LBJ said, you'd rather have them inside the tent pissing out then outside the tent pissing in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Dwayner said: You know...we're just trying to have some fun here, but this guy Sphinx is getting a bit over the top and takin' this schtick way too seriously. Check out these recent quotes. A little commentary follows. "I can understand why you'd be bitter, not getting laid in twenty years can do that." Commentary: "getting laid" or not is, like, so frat-boy!You wouldn't know and it ain't your bidness anyway. "And how DARE those boulderers have fun! They should all be shot!" Commentary:It's O.K. to be LAME in this country! Really! Boulder on! Have fun! "You're getting, old, fag." "Your maturity is astounding." Commentary: Very mature of you to use the term, "fag". If you are not getting old, than you are either making no progress or regressing to childhood. Where do you stand? "Thanks for providing such an excellent role model." Commentary: Sorry to disappoint you. I'm not here to be your role model. "You know, many people climb sport just so they won't have to run into you at the crags." Commentary: Simply not true. Tell ya what, Sparky...you can start bitching when I somehow prevent you from clipping bolts or bouldering. Until then, maybe when you see the name "Dwayner" as the source of a post on cc.com, you should just skip it and move on. We're good sports, though. If you happen to swing on by our "Rodeo", we'll give you two free plops. ahoy! - Dwayner Dwayner, you don't seem to understand the fact that you're boring, predictable, and lame. You seem kinda touchy on the getting laid issue...I'm probably right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JGowans Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Sphincter said: I pack GregW's .357 mag for a reason. I imagine it's mostly to feel the phallic steel shaft rubbing up against the side of your leg. Threats from a gun-toting braggadocio don't phase me too much. You just need to roll in that mattress a bit and feel other humans. I'm guessing you don't socialize much. I'd suggest starting with stale jizz to give a jolt back into reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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