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foraker

Overheard on the way to Certain Doom

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Amongst the scariest things I"ve heard while climbing is the following:

 

Several years ago, some friends and I were meandering up Shasta. About halfway up, we noticed large black clouds rapidly advancing from the west. Numerous lightning bolts were quite apparent. Beating a hasty retreat, we passed by what turned out to be a Sierra Club outing. I asked them what they were doing and they said "We're going up!".....Oh, man. As we continued to descend, I noticed one of their troupe attempting to put on crampons....the wrong way. His question, I assume to the leader, was "Which way do the pointy bits go?"

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Climber yells down to belayer: "Hey John, is this anchor set up right?"

 

Belayer to Climber: "I dunno. Why don't you come down and we'll ask our instructor".

 

Climber rapped, and thankfully didn't die. This was a group of Mazamas, I think. rolleyes.gifrolleyes.gifrolleyes.gif

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Downclimb to the first rap off the Tooth in winter. There's a guy standing there in lightweight polypro, shorts and approach shoes just standing there shivering uncontrollably with a rope hanging off the ledge. We ask where his partner is. He gestures down the face. We ask if he'd like to rap with us. He agrees. I thread a rope through the slings and hand him the ends to tie while I flake one rope and my partner flakes the other. I turn back to see him just standing there shivering. I ask and he responds that he hasn't done that before. I tie and we rap. Half way down his partner appears from the sunny side of the face, equally hypothermic. We assist them down to the pass. As we are leaving, I hear the dude we saw first say something to the effect of, "You're the experienced one, you should have led that pitch."

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Not scary but funny. I hear a whole lot of scraping and cursing from my friend on a slab as he takes a fair sized fall, belayer asks "you want to be lowered" friend says with a strait face "na, I still got MOST of my skin" pitty.gif

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Goin up to solo Beckey Route on Lib Bell early season. There's a couple of Mountie types just getting off the Beckey at the Col with crampons, ice axes, plastic boots, helmets, tons of gore-tex and schoeeler, big packs, and all sorts of gear. I'm in shorts and sneakers and a poly-pro tied around my waste. I overhear them going, "Look at this yahoo, oh my god." I look over and there staring at me with the utmost concern. They totally thought I was some lost hiker and they were going to have to rescue me. So I proceed to slip my cobras on and start climbing. After I do the route and downclimb the rap route by the time they get all there gear packed and pass them before they even start hiking out I think they were ready to shit a brick.

 

Sorry for the inherent chest-beating, just thought it was funny as hell yellaf.gif

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"UUMMMFF", followed by the ka-ching of a solo lead climbers ice axe dropping 20 ft, (he had leashes rolleyes.gif) followed by the crumpling sound as he landed 3 feet away from me on the nice flat, although really hard river ice.

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How many times i have seen this i can't count:

HOLD ON, stop climbing! this guy is showing me how to belay! Oh, thats how you do it! Don't worry I won't let you fall.

 

As i watch and wish i had another beer and a spliff.

 

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skyclimb said:

How many times i have seen this i can't count:

HOLD ON, stop climbing! this guy is showing me how to belay! Oh, thats how you do it! Don't worry I won't let you fall.

 

As i watch and wish i had another beer and a spliff.

 

That's why they invented Gri-Gri's

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"my brother took his biners back, but we can just run the top rope through these slings"

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UH SIR, CAN YOU PLEASE PARK YOUR VEHICLE UNDER THE AWNING AND GO INSIDE PLEASE AND HAVE YOUR PHOTO ID AND PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP READY EH.

 

 

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Holy shit, that must have been me.

I spent two days in Whatcom County Jail.

If they say that to you, get out of the car and start running for the border.

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skykilo said:

Holy shit, that must have been me.

I spent two days in Whatcom County Jail.

If they say that to you, get out of the car and start running for the border.

 

What for?

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Distel32 said:

"Hey everybody, Trask is here!"

 

dont let him in!!!!

 

lock your doors!!

 

 

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"You tie in with a figure eight, like this" It was a beaner cliped to one end of a figure eight (belay device, not a knot) with some kind of mystry knot tyed into the other end. It would have been funny but the guy was not kidding.

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At the visitor's center at Devil's Tower, WY after a long day of splitter cracks and stemming, I was sitting on a bench in the shade behind a row of tourons with binoculars looking up at the climbers left on the rock. I kinda get a kick out of listening in on them there.

 

One old guy pipes up and sez to another "I just don't see how they can climb like that with all those buzzards looking over the edge on top, just waiting for them to fall."

 

I took the liberty of responding to him "It's not the buzzards that bother us, it's all you guys down here looking up, just waiting for us to fall."

 

Needless to say, we didn't have much of a conversation after that.

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"We're just moving in together, to see if we're compatible. It's not like we're getting married or anything."

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chucK said:

"We're just moving in together, to see if we're compatible. It's not like we're getting married or anything."

 

yellaf.gifyellaf.gifyellaf.gifyellaf.gif

Oh funny shit..

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chucK said:

"We're just moving in together, to see if we're compatible. It's not like we're getting married or anything."

classic, dude. thumbs_up.gif

 

i was at this sport cliff the other day, and my belayer casually says to the two next to us 'that grigri is threaded wrong'. it was. that was some funny shit.

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"Do you see any bolts around here?" Asked by a young man about 40 ft off the deck, essentially soloing at City of Rocks while trying to put up a toprope for his friends.

 

The group of 4 was equipped with a rope, 3 quickdraws, one grigri, one real harness, webbing for a 2nd pseudo-harness, and a couple of locking biners.

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"And then I got pregnant. I'm always doing stupid things like that."

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"Hey you, over there. Can you show me how to set up a biner brake?" Guy on an adjacent route about 5 pitches off the deck.

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lummox said:

chucK said:

"We're just moving in together, to see if we're compatible. It's not like we're getting married or anything."

classic, dude. thumbs_up.gif

 

i was at this sport cliff the other day, and my belayer casually says to the two next to us 'that grigri is threaded wrong'. it was. that was some funny shit.

 

 

"uh oh dude, you're the hand" shocked.gif

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Watched a guy attempting to lead WI4—up 25 or so feet, both legs shaking, no pro in, heals down, and almost falling numerous times, the guy shouts down to his belayer: “Cool, here’s someone’s old ice screw hole—think it’s ok if I use it?” hellno3d.gif

 

Belayer: “Maybe not.” Geek_em8.gif

 

Scariest shit I’ve ever seen or heard—thought for sure my buddies and I would find ourselves hauling this guy to the emergency room. He finally bailed (think he set up a TR).

fruit.gif

 

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