tvashtarkatena

Manifestosteronisimo!

First Kazaa goes outta biz, now this. I'm gonna hafta go back to bustin out opera windows and jackin 8 tracks again....

I think its OK to expect that when you vote someone into office, they'll try to reasonably represent you. In a constituency of 1 person that is, but there aren't too many constituencies that small and if there were, I'm not sure elections would be on the top of the agenda. The minute you've got more than one angry hairless monkey in the constituency, the idea of what a politician is supposed to do or represent gets pretty fuzzy pretty fast. When it comes to dirty laundry on the home front: it matters in so much that such indiscretions can reduce individual and party electibility, which can be a real problem if you're one of the angry hairless monkeys rooting for that side. Clinton really fucked all of us with that blowjob by fucking over Gore's chances of preventing that fucking brain damaged chimpanzee from occupying the White House. In the world of the angry hairless monkey, politics, and that means public perception of every aspect of a high visibility official's behavior, affects that larger agenda and, at times, all of us. Morally speaking, we're all in the gutter to varying degrees, to be sure. But when a person begins to enjoy a larger public stage, the unintended affects of their 'humanity' are of a greater magnitude. The best thing we can do, therefore, is to reduce the unavoidable ripple effects of these high level 'lapses in judgement' by reducing the power of these individuals and reclaiming that power for ourselves. Fuck the federal government, for example. It has squandered our wealth, lives, environment, health, and quality of life. It needs to be severely pruned, particularly its most sacred and bloated carbunkle; the military. Too much of our everyday lives are dictated by people thousands of miles from where we live who don't know us, don't care to know us, and really couldn't give less of a shit about us. The fascination with celebrity will continue as long as we are human: we are, after all, just another herd animal. People will continue to be put into and run out of office based on public perceptions of events having nothing at all to do with their fiduciary responsibilities. The smaller we make these fish, however, the less these events will actually affect us one way or the other. They will be reduced to what they should be: pure tabloid entertainment.

YEAH! What Rob said. But why can WE be kinder to each other. Cuz...you're such a tool, perhaps?

I just wish a great white would eat Seal.

On my list for quite a few years now. It just moved up to near the top. Thanks for the TR.

Royalties. I want royalties.

I'll have to borrow Ivan's Rat Cam next time....

surf and turf

Merkins do love a freak show.

Plus, who the hell else would be interested in that shite that poses as food you haul up there.

Rat cam? Seems like your pics were shot by something very small.

The kayaker, a shark researcher, is very much in his element. The South African team tested shark reactions to empty kayaks prior to using them for research platforms (because of their stealth, ironically). There's only been one shark attack on a kayak that I know of: a great white got its teeth stuck in the stern hull of a guy's boat off the Farallon Islands of California. It thrashed him about until it was able to dislodged its jaws. He then paddled his sinking boat to shore, where a ranger tried to give him a ticket for landing on a wildlife sanctuary. I paddled the Whitsundays in Australia and was warned to stay away from the mangroves and the crocs that inhabit them. Sharks...not so much. The only encounter I had with anything remotely dangerous was a curious sea snake who lazily followed me around for a while before I finally pulled away from him. The most dangerous animal in those parts was none of the above; a relatively unimposing animal about the size of a fist called a box jellyfish.

Sweet.

bedder wedder fo sho

Nothin like arriving at a party on the late side. I tried to wade through a few turds here, but wound up stabbing myself in the forehead with a salad fork instead...more fun.

Trip: Devore, Tupshin, Flora - Date: 7/5/2009 Trip Report: TR: Devore, Tupshin, Flora June 30-July 4 Moonrise over larches (Devore Basin) “Hey Grandpa!” I turned, dripping from a sex changing dip in Lake Chelan. The three year old toe headed boy looked up from his machete work amongst the bracken fern, saw I wasn’t who he thought I was, and ran. Or maybe the little bastard was just pitching me some. Ah, Tupshin. Readily accessible, quality rock in a pristine alpine setting. Who doesn’t have this jewel on their tick list? Sure, the OCD listees all go for it, because the hungry little squirrel spinning in their fevered brains WILL NOT SHUT UP, but I’d never let such a merit badge fetish erode my effete climbing aesthetics. Still, I had a promised Rainier ascent to dodge, so I suggested to my buddy Jess that we book tickets on the Lady II instead, with promises of a tan and a true Cascadian experience. Plus, while Jess and I had scrambled some peaks before, he’d never worn a harness or crampons. That clearly needed to change. So we loaded up the Pua’a, my double inflatable sea kayak (with its surprise $24 luggage surcharge…who the hell ever reads the whole website?), and headed out pre-dawn for Field’s Point. The Voyage The Pua’a After landing at the campground across the Lake from Stehekin, we hobbled the boat by partial deflation and up we went, timing our ascent perfectly with the heat of the day. The Devore Creek trail quickly provides an unmatched introduction to local botany. Not photoshopped. Douglas Maple that’s apparently been sleeping around Acer glabrum douglasii (Devore Creek) Boisduval's blue butterfly Plebejus icarioides (Bird Creek) After a quiet night at Bird Creek Camp, we bashed up the right side of Bird Creek through fairly open forest to the basin at 5400’, cached rope and rack, turned left, and ascended a broad gulley/debris fan that took use directly to Devore’s flanks. It might have been a better choice a week or two earlier, before the top 50 feet of steep mud over rock had melted out, but hey, I didn’t have time for a whole lot of approach research beforehand. What the hell; it gave Jess a chance to become familiar with his ax and crampons. The hard way up to Devore from Bird Creek There’s a little 30 foot step of 4th that’s interesting near Devore’s summit, but otherwise it’s a standard rockpile scramble with a spectacular view. Jess closes in on Devore Purple Saxifrage Saxifraga Oppositifolia (Devore Summit) Jess on Devore. Tupshin in the background That evening I wandered away from our bivvy in Devore Basin to shoot pics and maybe, just maybe, stumble upon the tourist route down….or not. Columbia Lewisia with issues Lewisia Columbiana (Devore Basin) Larch twig with issues Larix occidentalis (Devore Basin) Tupshin and larch burl (Devore Basin) The following morning we tediously reversed our up route, picked up our gear, and headed up zig zagged our way up from there to the Sound of Music set and the East Face of Tupshin. Alien attack (7000’ point, SE ridge of Tupshin) Jess on Tupshin We played so much Choss Toss enroute I’m surprised there wasn’t a pile of dead goats at the base afterwards. I think the peak is actually 3 feet shorter now. Jess on the NE ridge of Tupshin There is no snow near the summit (just a deep pile of very loose party favors for anyone below you), so leave your ax at the base. I still feel a little guilty about the abruptness of Jess’s first live fire rap exercise. “This rope is a baby dangling off of a 10,000 cliff, and the mother is pressing the barrel of a .357 magnum against your temple. Drop the baby and see what happens. If you flip upside down, don’t let go. If a tiny alien spacecraft flies up your asshole, don’t let go. Any questions?” I did go down first to clear snarls, toss choss, and yard on the rope in the event of any screaming, but still. ROUTE NOTES: To start: Find the long gulley center face. Find the large conical rock outcrop just right of the gulley’s base. Find two parallel ramps trending up and to the right, about 50’ right of the rock outcrop. Scramble the lower ramp to the small trees (1st belay station). The following refers to Klenke’s description on Summitpost.org: Regarding the 3 alternatives above the ‘chockstone’ pitch. Rounding the NE ridge provides a great exposure photo op. The leftmost option is faster: easy with a move or two of low 5th on solid rock with good holds. (I climbed it, too, to unstick a rap rope). Unless you’re the last one down, it’s best to take cover rather than clip into any of the rap anchors, all of which are in the center of the bowling lane. A 60 m rope doesn’t quite make it to all the rap anchors, but no worries: the downclimbing is easy. After bivvying at our 5400’ cache in Bird Creek, we stomped back down to Bird Creek Camp to discover it occupied, in absentia, by a well appointed party of 4. While caching our climbing gear for the duration, Jess floated the idea of climbing Flora that afternoon to open up a full day of rest before going back to the grind, so up trail we went. After a beautiful hike (the upper Devore Creek trail is everything the lower portion is not), we eviction-noticed our overnight gear trailside at 4700’, crossed Devore Creek at 4950’ (where the trail begins diverging) and commenced stomping up the sweltering deadfall at a bearing of 100 MN. After 1200 feet of flatulent flagellation were apparently imploded through our own assholes and we reborn in the floral Elysian Fields of the upper basin, over which our rapt, disembodied spirits floated until a wide, 500’ high talus fan punched us back into the sorry remains of our steaming mortal coils, depositing them pissed, salted, and hungry at a 7460’ pass; the gateway to the sublime Castle Creek basin and Flora’s contrasting desolation. After scrambling down a few hundred feet of 3rd class nonsense, we dropped all the way down beelined for the objective. Our return route would have been better: descending to around 6400’, then traversing larch/snow/talus benches all the way around to Flora’s SW ridge (yes, it goes, even though it looks like it dead ends…just BELIEVE). Queso de Flora. Go Bears! Sunset over White Goat Mountain (Pass 7500’) Silver bordered fritillary Boloria selene (Devore Creek) Log Rolling (Devore Creek) The long days, tough terrain, and heat never seemed to shake Jess’s streetwise sense of humor and bottomless energy. His feet took a bit of a beating from soft boots and tight crampons, but it was nothing that a few stogies and a bucket of KFC couldn’t sooth. So if you’ve a mind to go to a seldom visited part of the Cascades (except maybe during the 4th), slap some bushes, dodge some rocks and a psychotic bumble bee or two (WTF?), consider this area…then cut yourself some slack and book a cheap flight to Hawaii instead. Gear Notes: Used No 1 camalot, smaller tech friend, even smaller TCU, crampons, axe, poles, food hang line, Floating Pig, $24 extra bucks. Approach Notes: Bring a floating pig!

Reality show, comin atcha.

Eat more home grown vegetables and maybe some of that fat back you got goin on will melt away. Now harvesting elephant garlic, zucchini, rasberries, strawberries, and lettuce. Scarlet runner beans in full flower. Real men grow their own food.

We prefer the term "Siege Descent". How was your little jaunt next door?

Trip: Liberty Bell - Thin Red Line Date: 6/26/2009 Trip Report: TR: Liberty Bell, Thin Red Line June 26-28 2009 Ivan and I spent the first days of his 5 week break from family, work, and taxes to trace a Thin Red Line on Liberty Bell. Arriving late, we managed to fix pitch 1 before repairing back to our vehicle, where we created Washington Pass's first sculpture installation, using materials we found on the descent. “Iron Bored I” 2009 steel, granite Two giants, one angry little Irish monkey The following morning we assaulted the route Ivan on the attack Just fixing the roof Roof traverse The author through Ivans sepia electronic eye The Liberty Bell Group The author cleans pitch 2 Ivan jugging pitch 3 We fixed the first 4 pitches, but illness overtook even Ivan’s unflappable spirit and our Thin Red Line became a Thin Red and Green Line of Sputum. The following day, we recovered our gear and bowed to the planet’s true owners: the microbes. “Iron Bored II” 2009 steel, granite By the time we got back to the vehicle, our sculpture park had been mysteriously swept from the landscape.

The right way to deal with any situation is a boot stamping on a human face forever.

Whoops! M'fkn WRONG ROOM.

Now here's a pair. Not enough brains to fake the marriage til the meal ticket ran out (which would have been soon enough, but still). Now they'll duke it out in court and all their not-so-hard-earned baksheesh will flow into the tailored suit pockets of their respective legal teams. Unless..."Season II: Reconciliation!" I like NOVA better...you get to actually see the queen termite or leatherback pumping them out. Or were birthing videos in the show, too?

I think it might have been the insults from the liberal side that turned the tide. You guys owe me two grand.