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StevenSeagal

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Everything posted by StevenSeagal

  1. I think you're supposed to be over in the anal pirates forum, fudgepacker. You're treading On Deadly Ground. This could be you-
  2. Maybe if you'd stop driving that gas guzzling SUV you'd be clearer about things. I once had to deal with environment-trashers like you up in Alaska. Big oil, sheesh. Don't think that any of you are Above the Law.
  3. I have a Chuck Norris lunchbox.
  4. StevenSeagal

    Chillout Music

    I take requests, you know.
  5. Thanks for the advice. For you, the cock and balls must have been quite a surprise....especially after the fact. I appreciate your concern that none of us makes the same mistake. So much for x-ray vision though .
  6. Word from the girls on the street is Superman doesn't last 2 minutes.
  7. Does AquamanJr. or the late Aquaman have any comment on this? Superheroes, unite. You know what I would have done in this case. Grow a set, Superman.
  8. Back in the late 80's, my clothesline maneuver was absolutely devastating. It looked SO good on film. Today, it has the same effect on the chumps- death- but it doesn't seem as bad ass to me anymore. I do it when I have to, of course, but I've found playing my guitar to conjure up the same level of satisfaction in some ways. Perhaps I am mellowing with age. I know I'm a better martial artist today than I was 20 years ago, so maybe my increase in skill has offset the aggro emotions that I had in my younger days that was the driving force behind so much ass kicking I did.
  9. Harold, huh?
  10. Hey this forum is just my kind of place. Would anyone like me to sing for you?
  11. You forgot the 'descent beta': handcuffs, bright lights, dog bites, electrode hooked to genitals, one step towards a safer America. They must have thought they were Above the Law.I should have been there.
  12. Worry not. I'll take care of this.
  13. Shut up Dan. You're think you're Above the Law. You're not. Don't make me clothesline you.
  14. Taebo?? That is NOT zen at all! Maybe in LA, but nowhere else. I could offer some training recommendations, but if you're on the fast track, I can deliver justice for you a lot faster. Just let me know if I can help. Hey what's that smell... He was asking about martial arts. Not about geriatrics.
  15. Damn, and I thought that was MacGyver...
  16. Ah yes, I was On Deadly Ground when I had to deal with those oil guys. But I showed them. And you bet I got the girl- As soon as I can find my Eskimo jacket with the tassles all over it, the NPS won't stand a chance.
  17. Fear not. I'll be paying the Park Service a little visit. They think they're Above the Law with these fees. Well, they aren't.
  18. WTF? I thought this thread was about me.
  19. Well I can't wait to see you all there. Thanks for your support. If anyone needs some justice delivered while I'm here, just let me know. No one is Above the Law. Cheers, SS
  20. Notso, How'd you like that stick clip shoved up your ass? Your Chi is leaking out. You're going out, pal. You're not Above the Law.
  21. Seagal makes me think "Seagals." Is Steven Seagal a Seagal by default? It is but a coincidence that my name is a parallel to the hotness of the women that surround me. For example:
  22. Fuck YOU. While you guys have been having your little jackoff party, look at the ass whupping I've been doing on the bad guys: Now cut the crap. You too, Gillface.
  23. Ah, you see, we're off to a bad start already. Well in case you hadn't noticed, I've historically had some problems with secret government agents who purport to be ont the good side, only to turn out they have evil intentions. Did you see Hard to Kill? That's what I mean. So perhaps you're the one who we should regard with some suspicion. With that in mind...one wrong move from you, and I'll rip your plastic cock off and stuff it up your plastic ass, and string up your plastic nuts with your marionette strings. Got it, cheeto? Fuck with my family...and you DIE.
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