StevenSeagal

I feel your pain, son. When those douchebags banned Aquaman from this place, all they did was kill a country. Spray was never the same again. Your father was the best sprayer of all time. I'll do what I can to exact justice. I suspect Chuck Norris may have something to do with this. I'll get back with you. Until then, a quiet mind...

Would you like me to take care of this?

Excuse me. I just finished foiling an assassination plot perpetrated by rogue CIA agents who felt they were above the law. Well...they weren't. Oh, and I found this "Nodder" you strange people have been looking for. I took care of the problem: Now if you'll excuse me, I think I see an injustice being perpetrated across the street. Have a nice day.

But I'm a singer now! I've grown beyond that martial arts movie stuff. I'm very sensitive. Don't judge a book by it's cover. Except Chuck- he really IS as stupid as he looks.

Don't listen to him Minx. He knows not of what he speaks. FYI, I can do things with my ponytail that you wouldn't believe. I can switch from Pomade to Dippity Do if that would please you. Just a thought, anyway...

There, you SEE that Charlie? She's opposed to chest rugs and...and...oh... ..... Dammit. Guess I'll have to try with Kelly again.

You'd be better off joining forces with me. I need a pretty woman by my side for my next session of taking out bad guys. Do you know how to use a gun?

Hey Notso, You know, if you were an alpine climber, the fun happens year round. You wouldn't have to spend 6 months of the year pounding your pud and beating your meat over the welded mud piles that await you.

My van is a lot nicer than your double wide. But actually I've been staying at your momma's place lately. Thanks for asking, though.

Is Chuck Norris a fag, or a homosexual?

Unlike you, I'm not still immersed in neanderthal-like violence; I'm discovering a more sensitive side:

Here's the latest scintillating offering from Chuck's stellar acting career: I guess you tired of playing the construction worker, now you're trying to be the Indian...right?

Ain't that the truth.

Is this irritating enough?

If there's any drug trafficking going on around here, I'm going to find out about it and deliver some justice. Nobody is above the law.

Do you think you're tough?

I know who did it. I just checked with my intel at the CIA. I can take care of this if you like. If you want justice, you know where to find me.

Not very Zen of you, Doc. That's just my warm up routine. Nice try. While you're sucking wind I'll be dancing all over your sorry ass.

Okay, you win.......... this:

Whoa. Looks like somebody wants an ass whupping. Chuck, I'm afraid we may have to temporarily suspend our hostilities to join forces. There's a bigger enemy facing us- one that threatens America. Dr. Fag Amazing is just another white boy with an attitude. We can both agree on this I think. Justice has to be served. Get your jean vest on. Time to kick ass.

EWWWWWWWWW! GROSS! You're offending my manhood. I'm off to go kick somebody's ass. Back in a flash.

So you went to a pickle show then? WTF? As for fags in lycra, we've seen plenty of pictures of Chuck the past week, so I don't know what you're complaining about.

What do cowboy hats and hemorrhoids have in common? They're both found on assholes.

Well that sounds familiar...