Dwayner

The Colonel ask: "...so if you get your Ph.d. in philosophy, do you have a doctorate of philosphy in philosphy?" first of all, generally speaking, you'd need to be able to spell "philosophy" correctly more than once....hey! just joking, Sparky! simma-down! Next, it's short for "Doctor of Philosophy" from the Latin, "Philosophiae Doctor" thus the seemingly inverted abbreviation. Yes, someone who has achieved that degree in Philosophy would be a Doctor of Philosophy in Philosophy. There are, however, more cynical interpretations of "Ph.D.", among them: Patiently hoping for Degree Piled higher and Deeper (after BS = Bullsh..., MS = More of the Same...) Professorship? hah! Dream on! Please hire. Desperate. Pour him (or her) a Drink Physiologically Deficient Probably headed for Divorce Pathetic-ally hopeless Dweeb Probably heavily in Debt Parents have Doubts Professors had Doubts Pheromone Deprived Permanent head Damage Pretty homely Dork Potential heavy Drinker Professional hamburger Dispenser...."Would you like fries with that?" Pretty heavily Depressed Prozac handouts Desired Pretty heavy Diploma Pathetic homeless Dreamer Proudly half Dead Phinally done! - your pal, Drunk Ole Dwayner, Ph.D.

Bro. Ryland don't know much about the academic world when he say: "I could go out right now and get a job as a professor at any po dunk yocal college, like your alma mater of Utah State." My answer to that: No you can't. Although you don't need a Ph.D. to teach at most community colleges - (usually only a Master's of some sort) jobs even there are rare (because of tenure) and when they do open, there are plenty of desperate unemployed Ph.D.'s to apply for those relatively miserable positions. And when a rare position appears in your field in a place you where you could actually tolerate living, then you compete against inside candidates, very specific candidate requirements, race, ethnicity and gender preferences, etc. A Ph.D. is mostly an endorsement that you have a high level of knowledge in your field and the ability to conduct original research. It comes with NO job guarantees although there are certainly more jobs in certain areas than others, but not necessarily in the academic world. but that's not really an alpine comment but your original statement was so naive I thought I'd make a response. An alpine comment: Unless they changed their policy, RMI used to have annual free tryouts for their guide service/climbing school where they evaluated you based on very basic skills along with enthusiasm and other desirable personality traits, and then they taught you the RMI system. I don't think they charged for any of that. If you were a good climber already, that might help but I don't think they wanted know-it-all's or "free-thinkers" who might stray from their generally successful way of getting people up and down a big mountain. The rumor was that it also helped if you were a friend of one of the more important guides or of the owners' families, or were a Kennedy. - Dwayner

A little history lesson: My mind drifts back to a time not so long ago, yet somehow a different age. The year: 2001. Back in the old days of Pub Club...back before Dave mistakenly added an "e" to the word "Pub", back when Beck was the unofficial greeter, back when the now familiar names and faces were not yet familiar. There were advocates for rotating the weekly beer-fest to various locations such as Tacoma and the "eastside". There was lots of jousting but order was eventually maintained...barely. On one occasion, Tacoma was being by-passed in the rotation and I pointed that out. In response, I was called a BIG BABY FOR FIGHTING ABOUT WHERE TO DRINK BEER!!!! A pretty tame scenario for the situation now, where there is a weekly tussle, much more strident than those back in the early days. Also, Tacoma is pretty much out of the loop now because the last two "events" were attended by only two locals, while meanwhile, even people in Ballard were fighting for a bar, a block or two closer to their own homes. One thing hasn't changed...some of the lovely girlies, who seem to pull more influence because they are lovely girlies, can still propose pub-club venues and then not show up. What a country!

Great post, JayB....that's one of my favorite climbs. It's generally referred to as "Lover's Lane" rather than Lover's Leap. There are also a couple of steep chutes off of the Zipper, on the right, after you exit into the Zipper from Lover's Lane. I've done them both and they take you up toward the summit ridge. Also, there's another interesting route that goes straight up the north face beginning in that little chute you can see in between the two v-shaped couloirs (zipper on the left, "the fly" on the right.) The crux involves about 5.7 moves over a rotten rock band. Land Peak is cool! Glad you had fun. - Dwayner

Hey Climber Loozers! I havent seen any money yet. Yoo tuf guys want to see the furst ishoo of "Kragginn Korral", I strongley sujjest that yoo start sending me those five dollers. And if yoo think yoo can sit in the bookstor and reed it for free like that stoopid Alpnist magazeen, forget it because I'v got a plan where I'll bee delivring it to your house whil I'm on my paper root. Rheinhold the master alpanizt.

Dang, Miss Allison...scrapin' hard fer controversy this mornin', ain't we! Grammar-police hits spray? C'mon! Wuzzup wid that? Orthographic constable! - Dwayner, pictured in the middle above, with a trad-lovin' honey on the right, and a sport-climber on the left who's is not only NOT gonna get any attention from the young lady, but he's actually been trying to get an invitation to her apartment so he can check for change under the sofa cushion to help save up for another quick-draw. Yah...that's what that guy's all about. Finding a nickel or dime or two, he'll make some rude excuse to leave (usually something to do with having bad gas), will abruptly leave, and go to the rock gym or some such to look for the next "change-hoarding" target who might have a few coins that can be surreptitiously scrounged before the next gas attack. A schemer with a plan. Another dozen girls and he might have enough quick-draws to ride his bike to that North Bend Shangri-La known as Exit 38...where he'll try to hone in on your girlfriend and snag a toprope on one of the many world-class desperation routes the place is so noted for. Also, note the guys shirt, it matches his spandex tights. My conservative blue smock, on the other hand, is always a favorite with the ladies. In short, the trad climbers land the babes. Sport-climbers have bad gas and meet girls to scrouge sofa-change for quick-draws.

Someone reminded me yesterday that the Eve Dearborn route used to be known as the Banzai Couloir, which is what I first heard it called maybe 20 years ago or more. I don't know if that's mentioned in the Nelson book (don't have it handy). Maybe others knew it by that name as well? - just curious. - Dwayner

Hey Sporto's! When you're done picking the pea-gravel out of your pants from the gym floor where you've been sequence-miming that special "project", consider for a moment the following truism: TRAD CLIMBERS LAND THE BABES! Consider the following evidence: Why? Because we got better stories to tell, we look better because we're aerobically healthy, and our lungs aren't full of chalk so we don't sound like we been smokin' three packs a day for the last twenty years. Uh huh.....!!!! Yes, that is me on the left. (with the red hair). - Dwayner, who knows.

Hey you Loozers! I checked the mailbox today and I dident see five dollars from any of yoo. Yo. What gives? You want a new climing maguazeen with good mountain storeys or not? Rheinhold, master alpanizt

Icegirl.......where were you last week? your biggest fan, ole drunk Dwayner P.S. Like my new haircut?

Climbzalot say: "I am sorry, I dont mean to be inflammatory in any way but I cant believe the amount of useless babble that is generated by the people who contribute to this web web site." Hey Super-Hardcore Alpinist-Dude: Lower your expectations. This is old news. For a guy with over 90 posts, you should know this. This site is part socializing, part entertainment, part time-filler and a lot of interesting and good climbing information too. Sifting through the nonsense is often part of the fun. "Climb faster, talk less, and shut up if you dont know." Dude, you need to slow down, talk more and quit bossin' folks around. Here, have a beer...a big one! And here's a useless photo for you:

"Hey! Me and my buddiez are gonna start a klimbing magazeen for kidz called "Kraggin' Korral"! Send us $5 and we promiss not two right anything about bolders and other stuf on the ground. Only big mountain stuff. Send us $5 befor my voice changes and we start spending all of our time and money bying C.D.s and listening to crap music." sign, Little Rheinhold, master of all alpanizm.

"pope" ought to have some answers to this question. From what I've been told, he crapped on his ex-girlfriend's sleeping bag!!!

SHOW ME THAT HEINOUS SIT START TO THE FIRST CLIP THAT YOU BEEN SPRAYIN' 'BOUT!!!

I'll show you what's going on in the back of my SUV!

Another kind of shrimp:

Look! An unbelievable, yet true, story from the Pacific Northwest, courtesy of Strange Magazine!!!! Giant Shrimp in the Laundry Room Transcription of tape recorded phone message: "Hi. My name is Virginia Staples and in 1948 I lived in Bremerton, Washington. The apartment where I lived had a gigantically huge basement. There were huge holes in the walls and the apartment house manager used to tell me that it was rumored there was a passage to the water. The huge apartment houses were so close together and they all had basements and they were old buildings. There was a washer and a washtub and a clothesline. And on this particular day I had gotten my clothes all hung up but I kept feeling someone was staring at me or looking at me. And it was such a creepy feeling I finally turned around and looked towards the back of the basement and froze. I was so scared I can still feel it. I couldn't move. In one of the huge holes in the basement there stood this thing. [she breaks down here.] Oh, it was horrible! I stand five foot tall and this creature was as tall as I was. It had a bright orange colored body and little spidery thin legs and antennae on its head that kept moving back and in and out. [Crying now.] That thing started towards me. I backed out of the basement and got up to my apartment and I packed all my things and moved. I was so scared. I moved over to Seattle to my cousin's. I went to an aquarium to see if I could see anything that looked like what it was, and the only thing that I could find that looked anything like it was this little tiny shrimp. But it just doesn't make sense. I had horrible nightmares for years. I finally got up enough nerve a couple of years ago to go back to revisit Bremerton. But the Navy has enlarged so much and the apartment house on Denny Street has been torn down. Really nobody would really believe this, but as God is my witness it really happened. " Originally published in Strange 6. Stoke up the Bar-B!!!

Trask....I'll show you what you missed. Some dude had one of those new, fancy digital video units. Just don't tell the animal protection folk. check it out: Tuesday's Pube Club Monkey Keep-Away Game (If it don't work, find "Monkey Looker" somewhere under "cartoons".)

Petey Puget say: "So everyone cashes in funds the wildest Pub Club yet with famed tuntablist DFA spinning discs and Sexy Choc revealing the secrets of the "forbidden" moondance! " Right, dude. You never show up to the other ones, so how do you know how wild they are/aren't? Last Tuesday night's Pube Club, we swapped underwear with the ladies, mud-wrestled on the pool tables and played Keep-Away with a live monkey.

Mr. Alex, he say: "Dwyaner, you talk as if you know/represent the climbing community in general by making such blanket statements as "not many people are lining up for this route..", but fact is, you dont/dont. (Neither do I.)" Dude...where do you come up with this stuff? I only represent MY OWN opinion, as I stated above. You may have absolutely no respect for me, but a few others might. I think it's a dangerous route. So what. Take it or leave it. I can express my opinion....what a country! It's obviously not a Cascade classics because as you, yourself state: "this route has been tried by myself and many of my friends and many of their friends during various winters over many years now." And as far as you know, none of them has gotten up it. I would be delighted to be proven wrong. No, this isn't a personal challenge from me to you, but if it happens, I'm sure we'll all enjoy hearing about it. By the way, Forrest-guy: a little fear-mongering ain't bad; it might keep some people out of trouble. I personally think Jim Nelson is one cool cat but I don't know why a route like that would be thrown in with all of those moderate climbs. (Maybe it was a special tribute to his friend Eve.) I've met some guys out to do all of Nelson's selections and that's a worthy goal. But EDM is really a different story than the others listed. Do it if you want and I hope you have a safe and fun time. good luck. - Dwayner

Hey! Enough of the pig talk! You're giving me spilkes! love to you all, Rabbi Schlomo

Forrest-dude: I take nothing back from my original statement. As one who has actually checked it out, I'm only offering my opinion. It ain't for me and the fact is, not many people are climbing it and it's not just because the conditions aren't ripe very often or their "level of risk-tolerance won't justify mixed alpine routes". So go climb it, m'man. I hope you have a safe and successful journey and post a few pictures when you come back because it is a cool-looking route. - Dwayner P.S. Since when has "relevance" been a requirement for posting on this web-site?

Work it off, gurls!!!