Dwayner

Sorry ski-sport. I'm sure they're all kinds of toughies out there who are quiet and some who are not. I know a few who I consider to be some of the best climbers in the region who most locals have probably never heard of because they keep to themselves. Anyway, that's not my point....my point is, other than maybe doing a second ascent, that route is as I stated...a chossy death route. I've scrutinized it, and have even looked down the route from above to check it out. Sure, someone could do it, in fact lots of folks probably could, but they don't because it's dangerous and the conditions would need to be very special. Wear a helmet and don't expect a lot of protection.

Mr. Skisports say: "You might also forget how many silent hardmen and women there are out there waiting for the route to come in shape." I'd say that there are very few such silent hardsters-in-wait....the climb is a chossy death route. Where were these folks over the last several years? It looks cool from a distance and it made it, for whatever reason, into a cool-climbs style guidebook...but it ain't a nice route. - Dwayner

I'll give you your Pube-Club T.R.: It took awhile to get around to it because I've been in an oxygen tent having my lungs detoxified from the smoke. Next I'll be taking my clothes to the dry cleaners because they smell like second-hand tuberculoid-infested effluvia. The usual suspects were there. 15 to 20 people I'd say. Not too many big surprises. Colonel Von Spanker appeared. Many people stood up when he entered the room so he must be famous. And the lovely Madame Perkins made a special guest appearance. as did the apparently long-absent Miss V. Generally, a congenial, high-quality and well-behaved bunch; clusters of conversationalists forming and disbanding. Expensive beer. Although the cc.commies were polite enough to step outside and smoke, many of the other patrons were producing a toxic cloud of their own lung-fumes to the point where it was actually burning my eyes. The air was much fresher outside. Disbanding time: c. 11 PM. A pleasant time.....no fights....the bar bill seems to have been paid....etc. As expected, the big-talkin' dead-beats didn't show up...that includes Petey "gotta watch Joe Millionaire" Puget, "too cool for Pube-Club" Law Goddess, and the elusive Mr. Daniel Larson. Icegirl is excused because, well, uh...., uh.....she's special.

A couple more of my former climbing buddies: This is Steve, although he always insisted on being called Steven. Always introduced me as his "partner" to his other friends. Drove me crazy with his incessant whistling of show-tunes. Found a more compatible "partner". Meet Rabbi Schlomo....you should be so lucky! A good guy, a real mensch, but could only climb on week days. Had a custom-made helmet to fit under that hat. A master of trad. rock. Where do you think I got my "sport-climbing is lame and unethical" attitude?....you guessed it, Rabbi Schlomo. Yup, thems wuz the daze! Dwayner

"das Schwartz"? Perhaps you mean "Schvantz", Yiddish slang, or "Schlange", German slang? either way, it's gross, meaning "HUGE"!

N by NW, he say: "Humorous D-Wayne. I remember a climber I met in Leavingworth once. He was an odd fellow: he pretended to be giving commands to his partner in German. He also had a tendency to leave his gear at the base of climbs in the hope that others would carry it out for him. I don't have a picture of him, but you might find one for me eh?" Dude! That sounds like me!!!! (Pictured below with an early mentor.)

Been diggin' around....finding pictures of many of my old climbing buddies. Here are a few that did well in their day but didn't quite work out: Sassy Sarah...great gal, but inattentive at the belays...had an annoying laugh and always forgot to bring food. Length of time as climbing buddy: two years. Tito: Here he is pictured in his "A-5+ Rumble-Suit". Didn't speak English. Climbing was just a fad to Tito, like some many other things, and when he quit and took up roller-blading, he sold his gear at a swap-meet where I found some of my own 'biners for sale!!! No hard feelings, Tito. I'm sure it was just a sorting error. Length of time as climbing buddy: two months. Linda: There were conflict of interest issues here. I refused to be seen in public with her when she was wearing her custom Capt. Kirk costume and she regularly bitched at me about my use of the term "trekking poles" because she thought it was disrespectful. The final straw was when I found one of her fake martian ears stuck to the inside of the wool hat I lent her. Length of time as climbing buddy: two weeks. Ah Debbie! I met this citizen of faux Bavaria in Leavenworth. Said she was a "big-wall mama"....she was not. Said she could climb "anything made out of granite"....she could not. Claimed to be in "graduate school"...actually repeating her high-school senior year. Length of Time as climbing buddy: two hours.

And here's a picture of her LOSER ex-boyfriend at the Index Tavern:

Did someone say Laura Ingraham? HELLO!!!!

Hey Everybody! Meet my new climbing betty!!! Hotcha!!!

Michael Moore has made a career out of being a wise-ass, winking, smirking liberal "champion of the people", showing the working man how and why their lives should suck. His hissy fit in London might have occured when he compared his paycheck with that of fellow liberal-smirker, Tim Robbins, who makes a lot more money and wears better clothes. Moore: Robbins:

First time I ever went to a Pube Club, I went to go wee and when I came back, Caveman was drinking my pint of Guiness. It's o.k. now because I like the guy, but watch out!

"Sheeesh!!! I hope there's gonna be an accountant there to take score!!" I'm not an accountant, but I play one on T.V.

Goddess of Law....forget the doggone t'ost and meet your new pals tonight wherever this thing is...maybe there's a martini within walking distance if you get bored spitless. Me, Petey, trask, figger 8 and all them other characters want to me you. Furthermore, did you know that "ost" means "cheese" in Norwegian? What are they putting in those fancy drinks you require? Oy! - Dwayner P.S. If they's got Mickey's on tap at this pube-club joint, I'll buy you a taste....bring your own straw, though.

Trask....you show up too. We'll drink a few beers. I'll be the shunned guy sitting by himself.....I'm sure you know the feeling.

Lawgoddess, Petey Puget......Dwayner look forward to meeting both of you misteriosos this evening. Be there, Petey, so you can pay me back with beer for all of the emotional damage you have inflicted....beer heals all, as they say. Lawgoddess....appear and confirm or disconfirm the rumor that you are as cute and engaging as Icegirl. - Dwayner

A PREVIEW OF THIS EVENING'S EVENT:

Brother Mattp say: "during the war they [the Iraqis] sent an inefective couple of missiles at Israel. " Couple of missles????? 39 to be exact. And although they did relatively little damage...they made the point...they could attempt to hit Tel Aviv again and other population centers with nastier warheads if they wanted to. And the Israelis got a huge amount of flak for unilaterally bombing the Iraqi nuclear reactor in 1981...think of what would have happened by now if they hadn't.

Brother Erik, he say: "someone can buy me a pint, i think i have anough gas money to come and tell some good stories!!!!" Dude...call Dwayner or send a p.m. to Figger 8 and maybe you can carpool it with the Tacoma van pool, Ain't that right, fig. 8? Gee whiz! Dan Larson! Petey P.! Trask? "Golly, Mister! This might just be the bestest Pube-Club ever!" Maybe I should try to get a hold of Big Lou and someone else can call Bread Feckey. - Dwayner It's a long walk to 7-11 for my breakfast!

I've gotta a big 'ole expedition tent that REI used to sell back in the '70's. It's called a McKinley and it's big enough to stand up in and have a barn-dance. (sleeps 4 and their gear!) Actually it's a McKinley 2..more deluxe. Nope, it ain't for sale...yet..but I'm looking for a rainfly for it, and maybe another center pole. If any of you cool cats have such, let's talk. I'd like to rehabilitate this mountaineering classic and put it to use this winter. thanks. - Dwayner

Pube-Club Dave says: "We haven't been to Teddy's in awhile. Close to I5 Teriaki accross the street. Smoke, not thick ." Dude...I wouldn't list a smoking environment as an attractive asset. In fact, it is a disincentive for some people to attend. You may make the choice how much booze you want to slosh down and its accompanying loss of brain cells, but me and many others don't want to be reinhaling someone else's vile and destructive tobacco exhaust. You (and I, if I choose) can smoke outside almost everywhere without impacting too many others. So if you think smoke, thick or otherwise, is a plus for choosing a Pube-Club venue.......WRONG! - Dwayner

I had another dream about Big Lou last night. (You may recall that last year he appeared to me and told me to mark my 'biners.). It went something like this: I was sitting at my kitchen table staring at an empty cereal bowl. It's my favorite bowl, the one with Bugs Bunny on the bottom and Bugs is kinda of winkin' at you like he's encouraging you to go out and do something wacky first thing in the morning. It's the kind of bowl my mother used to give me as a kid....you had to eat all your breakee if you wanted to see the picture. Anyway, I'm staring at Bugs when all of a sudden, the back door of my house falls inwards making a large crash. Right off the dang hinges! I'm frozen in terror as the doorless aperture reveals a huge silhouette outlined in a creeping fog that begins to seep into my house. The giant steps forward into the light. It is Big Lou and he greets me with a stern look. "Forsooth, why hast thou made visit, sir?" I manage to utter. Without breaking his gaze, Lou reached into his pocket and brought forth a box of Cap'n Crunch which he proceeded to tear open with the large ice axe he clutched in his other hand. With a flick of the wrist, he masterfully flung a serving of cereal into my bowl from across the room, filling it to the rim without a single morsel out of place. As I gazed at the sweet crunchies in amazement and appreciation, Lou took two steps forward and pointed his finger within inches of my chest. "You're not getting enough fiber in your diet, Boy!" was all he said before turning away and disappearing into the mist. I woke up in a sweat and rushed to the kitchen. Thankfully, the door was still intact. It had all been a dream....or so I thought...until I found a shredded box of Cap'n Crunch on the floor....I don't even eat Cap'n Crunch!!!!!!! "You're not getting enough fiber in your diet, Boy!" - Dwayner

MMMMM-MMMMM GOOD!!! Hey! Enough of the thread-drift!!!