Dwayner

YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW FROM COMEDY!!!

Hey "Dr." Flash Whatever.... just in case you forgot.... "WAH WAH WAH GYM CLIMBING IS DUMB WAH WAH"

Trask say he don't get it. What don't you understand about live feeding? The guy on the right is handing a pastrami sandwich to the old man. It ain't funny if you have to explain it.

Here it is, today's live feed from Camp 1!

GO FOR THE REFRESHING BEVERAGE IN THE HAND-SIZED GREEN BOTTLES!

Looks like another lame conspiracy theory rumor. It has all the trappings of that sort of baseless scare tactic. It sure got Pube-Club Dave all worked up!

Here's what Frank Zappa had to say about of hippies, both old and new: Turn turn,Turn, turn We're turning again Turn, turnTurn, turn We're turning again They took a whole bunch of acid So they could see where it's at (It's over there, over there, Over there, over there And under here also) Doont, da-doodem doodem! They lived on a whole bunch of nothing They thought they looked very good They'd never ever worry They were always in a hurry To convince themselves that what they were Was really very groovy Yes, they believed in all the papers And the magazines that defined their folklore They could never laugh At who or what they thought they were Or even what they thought They sorta oughta be They were totally empty (Totally empty) And their lives were really useless So what the f*%k? They didn't have no sense of humor (Oodly-oodly-yeah!) Now they got nothing left To laugh about Including themselves Turn, turn,Turn, turn We're turning again Turn, turn,Turn, turn We're turning again Bprr . . . bprr . . . the year 1967 Drug-crazed youth discovered vagrancy as a way of life EWW-WW! Dey were mellow Dey were yellow Dey were wearing smelly blankets Dey looked like DONOVAN fans (HU-UR-DE-EE GU-UR-DE-EE) Dey walkin' 'round With stupid flowers In dey hair an' evvywhere Dey tried to stuff 'em up de guns Of all the cops and other servants of the law (LA LA-LA-LA LA-LA) Who tried to push 'em around And later moved 'em down But they were full of all that shit That they believed in (PHEW!) So what the f*%k? (WHAT THE F*%K?) Now I seen 'em tightenin' up dey headbands On the weekend and dey get loaded When dey came to town Dey walk around in GREEMICH VILLAGE To buy posters dey could hang up In dem smelly little secret Black light bedrooms On LONN-ISLAND Singin': "JIMI COME BACK!" Now come back and regulate de boy's FURZ-tone Yo' HAZE was so PURPLE It caused your AXIS to be BOLD AS LOVE (JIMI-JIMI-JIMI-JIMI-JIMI FEED BACK) Now Jimi gimme some feedback Come back and feed back on my knapsack You can feed back the fuzz tone from your WAH-WAH While you bend down And set your stuff on FIRE Turn, turn,Turn, turn We're turning again Turn, turn,Turn, turn We're turning again We can turn it around We can do it again We can go back in time Through the canyons of your mind On the EVE O' DESTRUCTION We can act like we are something really special WOOOH, we'll just jump in the bath-tub With that other guy JIM And make him be more careful We can visit Big Mama And whap her on the back When she eats her sandwich (LA LA LA LA) We can take care of Janis When she gets so depressed She can't take it no more We can laugh at Keith Moon's jokes (HA HA HA HA HA) And the colour TV (HA HA) He threw out de windum Fum de second flew-ah! (YEAAHHHHHH!) Everybody come back No one can do it like you used to If you listen to the radio And what they play today You can tell right away: All those assholes really need you! Turn turn Turn turn We're turning again Turn turn Turn turn We're turning again Turn, turn,Turn, turn We're turning again Turn, turn, Turn, turn We're turning again

I bet for some students, this war business is a dream-come-true. Their ex-yippie/hippie professors have been telling them what a Golden Age the '60's were. They got to wear cool clothes, sit in the street in chant, and gee whiz!, the music was really good. I recall back during the Gulf War when a bunch of neo-hippie protestors wanna-be's, no doubt fresh from viewing some newsclips from their professor's 20th century history class, sat down and chanted "hell, no, we won't go". That anti-draft chant sounded good back in '60's, BUT IT DON'T CUT IT WHEN THERE'S NO DRAFT. And then there's the tired formula....Hey,Hey....Ho, Ho....FILL IN THE BLANK...gotta go, or alternately, "we don't want your oil/racist war" which is beyond naive. I saw one pathetic young Miss just the other day on the U.W. campus around lunch time. She looked to be about 20 and was trying to get something started in big square between the libraries. She got on the mike and said, "O.K. you guys, I'm going to read something now. O.K. listen to this: "War....what is it good for? Absolutely nothing." So now this is how it's going to work: I'm going to say, "War, what is it good for" and you guys say, "Absolutely nothing". Are you ready? Got it? Say "Absolutely nothin" after I say "War, what is it good for" OK, let's go. "War. What is it good for?" A handful of people said "nothing". "Come on you guys!", pleaded the little protester! "Let's try it again!" I kept walking.

I used to think this man, known only as "The Continental", was Trask. But I'm not sure anymore.

Mr. Moore, he say: "Maybe Dwayner was picked on by football players in highschool, hence the animosity towards the sport?" No. This is not true. Dwayner didn't attend a school where that typical sort of social brutalization was tolerated. I don't particularly like team-sports. I admire individual more than group achievement. I like participating more than I like watching. I think football, in particular, is an embarassment. If you like the game, great! Learn all them big life lessons, pay the money, watch the ad's, yell at people who can't hear you, do all that stuff you like. Dwayner doesn't like football....an opinion contrary to your own. Who cares? - Dwayner

Bro. Rob-Bob's got some insight when he say: "Plus I just don't want to sit on my ass for very long watching other people do things." Exactly. When I go climbing, I experience the action directly, and I don't require a stadium, a coach, a big team and millions of obese people watching me nor do I demand millions of dollars for their "privilege" to do so.

Dude-Trask say: "You sound bitter. Perhaps less broad generalizations of the world at large? BTW, what's it like to be as cool and hip as you? Buck up pal, it'll be a new day tomorrow." a) not bitter b) just generatin' a bit of spray. c) what's it like to be as cool and hip as me? A good question and a question which I am often asked. Unlike Mattp who is truly effortless cool, it is not always as easy it appears. Especially the "hip" part because I'm constantly having to learn all the new phat jargon while kickin' in my 'rents da bomb basement. Yo! d) As far as tomorrow is considered, it's only 2 1/2 hours away, despite what that goofy red-headed girl say!

I just had an exciting day in the mountains while many of you yawnsters were shoving cheetos and beer down your pie-holes and watching a bunch of padded grown men run at each other. Interesting and occasionally entertaining comments from my initial stupor bowl post. This one I don't understand and it comes from the E-Rockster: "If people have fun watching a football game every so often, while hanging out with good friends and family, why should that piss you off?" Who's pissed off? I think it's a goofy waste of time. So what. Have another one next weekend too. What a country! And the lamest comment of them all, Bro. Cracked, trying his hardest to be a comedian with this knee-slapper: "SPORT CLIMBING is the only MAN's sport" Must be a whole lot of she-males hangin' out in the rock gyms or at Exit 38. And seems to me there are about 8-1 sport climbing females than alpine-climbing females. But that's a whole other topic. Now go back to your living room, mop up the nacho cheese, kick your buddy and your other buddy's girlfriend out of the guest bedroom before a fight breaks out, clean the bean dip off the TV screen and start collecting the car keys from the visitors. Be careful not to trip over them on the living room floor on your way to work tommorow. (And don't forget to add some lawn food to the area below your deck to neutralize the gallons of urine that were deposited.)

Icegirl! You comin' with me? Uh....probably not....you're, uh, probably watching the superbowl with your real friends.

I like football about as much as I like sport-climbing.....i.e., I don't. Anybody else think the Stupor Bowl is lame? I'm getting in my car and heading toward the rainy peaks. Even the drive is better than being around a bunch of pepped-up, nacho-swillin', touch-down high-fivin', beer-spillin'-on-the-couch yellin', $10-bettin', loud-mouths shouting at a television screen. Don't this look fun: YAWNNN!!!!!!

MEANWHILE, BACK AT BASE CAMP....

Your Jewish mother says, "Keep it kosher and everybody will be happy!!!" Take a look at some of these: Good For You! And here's a picture of your future base camp:

The first lesson in teaching about bolts should be a big ethical one: why bolts should be rare and each individually justified. As Mattp suggests above, that description is a how-to without the "why" , "why not" and "when".

There's a lot of reasons why sport-climbing sucks. Here's one of the biggest: Thanks for the "favor".....not!

Hey You Guys! Listen Up! Leave Icegirl alone! She adds more charm and beauty to cc.com and pub club appearances than any random thirty of you!! Icegirl....don't worry about those uncouth brutes. Here...have a Mickey's with Dwayner: - Dwayner

Although Captian Spanker seems to be generally one cool cat, I's got to say he is full of crap regarding the following: * "Though relatively well organized and remotely amusing your argument neglects one simple fact; no one that goes to pub club really cares about smoky bars all that much." - Nonsense. * "There's a small minority of crybaby sissies that are up in arms about smoky bars, but it's a fact of life in washington." - No, it is not a fact of life. There are plenty of places that our smoke-free. Take the time to find them. There are great ones in Tacoma (where pub clubs were regularly held until people found it to be too much trouble to come south), and they aren't snotty either. I'm sure that the Seattle area has a load of non-smoking venues that would fit the bill. By your definition, count me among the "crybaby sissies". * "So if you wanna play with the big dogs you gotta get off the porch." - I WOULDN'T CHARACTERIZE GOING TO PUB CLUB AS "PLAYING WITH THE BIG DOGS". "All you whiners are probably the types that show up and have a wine spritzer and leave in half an hour to go home and watch re-runs of happy days and MASH." - Wrong again. But we're driven away by burning eyes, bad air, stinking clothes, and in my case, I have asthma and it DOES have a very detrimental short-term, if not ultimately long-term affect on me. I personally prefer "The Love Boat". * "And you make the assumption that all the people that advocate not going to non-smoking bars are smokers, which it not true, we are just a troop of drunks that don't like going to places that suck ass." - And we're not all public drunks, either. That goes along with the self-absorbed notion of "hey everybody! we're wild and crazy climbers that love to drink and get into mischief! Lookee here! We're just a wacky bunch of crazy drunks! And we're climbers!" I do most of my drinking at home...alone....with a few quarts of Mickey's to start my day. It is completely unrelated to my climbing or social activities. If the venues "suck ass", as you so poetically stated, then go out on a reconn. to find those that don't. That could be a lot of fun. I stopped going to pub clubs regularly because my schedule changed and I was teaching on Tuesday nights (climbing classes, even). With the new year, I ventured out for the first time in months, saw the usual crowd in place, and left with burning eyes, a wheeze, and smelling like a full ashtray. Doesn't encourage me, or some others, to return. Go on a Seattle bar-hopping expedition and report on your findings. - Dwayner

Yeeee!!! Bouldering!!!!! Boulder on this, yawn-provoking, pad-totin', sequence-miming, "spot-me!"-orderin', got-nothin'-better-to-do-with-my-time, pseudo-climbers! :

"Dr". Flash-whatever say: "Smith is part of the Cascades, right?" The answer to that is: HELL NO!!! And while were at it, say "no" to sport bolts on Mt. Rainier!

I heard the RURP bit it in the Alps sometime in December. Saw him last in October but I don't know if it's true...but he ain't been around.