Dwayner

What? This you call music? Play enough crap and tell people it's music and they'll start to believe you! Hey! Here come these guys! Oy! My ears! I'm so inspired by cleverness...not...the emperor has no clothes....i.e., this stuff is droned noise accompanied by vacuous lyrics. P.S. Did I happen to mention that this stuff is droned noise accompanied by vacuous lyrics? ?? (Got anything by the New Main Street Singers or Mitch and Mickey?)

You know why Mounties swarm the Toof? They like it for the same reasons I do.....it's a great climb, especially for beginners. A reasonable approach, often on snow, easy 5th class climbing on mostly decent rock. And some rappeling action for the new guys if that be their thing. The only problem is....those doggone Mountaineers aren't out there in random groups of 2 or 3, they are out there in herds. I don't think I've ever been on that mountain, except in winter, without several parties of these folks flailing about. (Recommendation: wear a helmet.) And they train hundreds more each year, and they head in herds for the popular beginners climbs. (I saw about 50 of them out at Spire Rock a couple of weeks ago and said to one of their clipboard wieldin' "instructors": wow! small group this time! The guy told me that was only half of them....the other half had been there the day before!And I heard there were 200? in the Seattle class this year. ) And they tell you that it's only a weekend here or there....nonsense....there are several chapters of the Mountee's, plus other similar "mountaineering for the masses" type organizations (WAC, Boealps). And don't get me started on their "instructors" and "mentors".....oy! As a former professional guide, I cringe. That being said....many of these Mountee's are friendly and well-meaning....it's just sad to meet an increasing number of members of the swarm on the easier climbs where I like to take a friend or two on occasion or just enjoy them myself. And speaking of myself....don't get me started either about how the Mountee's used to approach and admonish me for solo climbing!! This topic.....it took almost four pages to get me worked up. And then there are those crappy magazines and REI who want to see as many people in the mountains as possible so they can sell lots of CRAP including cute little blouses and khaki shorts! Yeeeeeee! - Dwayner.....here Mountaineers....have a beer (if it ain't against the rules).

"Guys.....stop it. Some sincere young men come on board this fancy internet web-thingamajigger with a legitimate request for some good, clean, outdoor fun and you turn it into something ridiculous! Now get back to work and.......PLAY BALL!!!!" - Your Coach

These talented and able fellers are lookin' for a little action....sport-climbin' action, that is! "You got the quick-draws, I've got the back-step!" "Anybody here say 'Exit 38'?" "Take!"

Rabbi Schlomo says: "You guys don't know from religion! Let's talk climbing! Moses was a climber! And by the way, God bless our troops!"

You wanna third tool? How about this guy:

Matt P. say: "Besides food, which is at least party handled, ...." Brother Matt.....I'm sure you're a clean buy but I'm not sure that I'm interested in eating food that has been "party handled". - Dwayner...who puked Friday night from "party-handled" food.

I believe that had something to do with a mudshark at the Edgewater Inn with a couple of members of the group Vanilla Fudge. My mind drifts back.....By the way, "I am not a groupie!" - Dwayner

j_b say: "gib ledges is not an option unless it is very cold. and even then beware of direct-sun loosened rocks (rockfall)." Uh.....I don't know where you heard that. It ain't Willis Wall. I climbed it once on an average July 4th and it was great....hundreds of people on D.C. and just me and a buddy on the ledges. We timed it so that we hit the ledges just as there was enough light to see our way across and had a pleasant stroll to the chute. Never saw a stone fall. However, we did not linger and we descended the D.C. route. I think that's a good strategy, and wear a helmet. I've descended Gib Ledges in the winter but I wouldn't recommend doing that in the summer. I met a couple guys at Muir once who were utterly terrified after their afternoon descent. Historically, Gib ledges was the guide route and it still is quite a nice direct way to the top. It was apparently a lot more easier than it even is now until a key section slid away in 1936. According to Dee Molenaar ("Challenge of Rainier", 1st edition): "Early accounting of numbers is vague, but doubtless several thousand climbers reached the crater rim of via the "Gib Route" between 1870 and 1936, the last year the original ledge trail was intact....In 1936, following several sumers when ever-increasing quantities of dripping water and icicles were a feature of the overhanging section of the Gibralter trail, and a few days after the final climb of the summer, a large section of the ledge tumbled away in a rock avalanche, leaving only a vertical scar at the site of the trail...For the next 11 years numerous attempts were made to find a way across the Gibraltar face but all were thwarted by discouraging rockfall and loose footing. Finally.....seasonal park rangers, found a way by dropping to a lower ledge system, following this around several points and alcoves in the face of Gibraltar, and climbing to rejoin the upper end of the original trail. This exploratory effort re-opened Gib and in subsequent years it again provided the most direct route to the summit snows from Cap Muir. Even then, however, spasmodic barrages of rockfall tended to relegate the Gib route to a secondary choice among mountaineers. The route is now recommend only with caution for small parties of fast-moving climbers. Hard hats are strongly recommended." There are additional interesting comments in Molenaar's book regarding rockfall statistics, etc. that interested climbers might enjoy reading. - Dwayner

"sphinx" say: "D-Wayner, methinks you spend too much time beliittling sport climbing." Haven't done that in while. Is this an invitation? And what's with "methinks"? Is that a real word or are you part of that group that dresses up in Middle Age garb and re-enacts the old days? How about a few posts using that kind of chatter throughout? It would be a real novelty and liven up your sarcasm. "You would never be around a sport climber, much less a boulderer, so why do you care what they're doing out in the middle of the desert near a few 20 foot rocks? You're beginning to sound like a broken record." I've been around plenty of them. Don't confuse having an opinion necessarily with "caring". I do, however, have an issue with indiscriminate bolting and as sport-climbing is by nature bolt-dependent, it is often worthy of scorn. I think bouldering is goofy....you obviously care. As long as you pick up your garbage and don't kill alot of vegetation with your portable mattress, go get 'em, cowboy! Broken record? I guess it must be unfashionable to have a consistent opinion. "Oh, BTW, you keep slamming sport climbing. What do you think of new-school mixed? It's worse than sport climbing, as it takes the bastion of trad ice (more 'manly' than trad rock), and converts it to a 'no risk' 'pansy' sport. Plus it scratches up the rock in addition to drilling holes and placing bolts. It's all pointless anyways." New School Mixed...isn't that the name of the latest hip boy-band that's got them teenagers all hot and bothered? Your request for my opinion regarding the above comes off as less than sincere, but your description seems about right. "Say, weren't you the one drooling over all the beachside limestone pics? How're you going to protect those? Sling a gecko maybe?" Get your facts straight....they're volcanic. Dude....get yourself a beer, sort your quickdraws and send that bouldering pad-liner to the laundry. And by the way, you have all the style and syntax of the one who posts under the name "sexy cocoa". I suspect that you are likely one and the same. If you're bored, do your trolling with someone else....I ain't in the mood no mo. WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

"Sphinx" says: "Go ahead and cry while all those "poor, misguided non-climbers" crank down and have a blast, while you whine about how this isn't 'real' climbing. Bouldering is great training, and just because it has evolved beyond training into a separate activity doesn't mean it isn't fun, or rewarding." Dwayner say: No one's stoppin' you from totin' your pad, Sparky, and nobody's stoppin' me from thinkin' it's lame. America....what a country!

He's a man of insight, a master alpinist, and on the run. It's Baghdad Bob and he would like to enlight you with profound comments such as: "The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies." Check him out! BAGHDAD BOB FUN-SITE Especially recommended is the "Make Bob Talk" feature. - Dwayner

Pub Club in Tacoma last night was rockin! Thanks to all of you who showed up at The Angry Sailor; perhaps Tacoma's newest and hippest beer joint. The number of folks who drove down from the north was impressive! Some of the highlights: - the Mickey's on tap which they provided on my request. - the waitress who ran out to thank us for the big tip because Satchmo left a pile of money on the table because he didn't know we had already paid the bill. - the exchange of world-class secret beta. - a collection was taken to fix pins on all the crux moves on Green Dragon and to have a phone booth installed on the summit of Glacier Peak. We will need more money otherwise we will have to seek sponsors. - a pitcher of beer was spilled and pope mopped it up with his own shirt and did a wild dance on the table. -etc. etc. etc. It was a veritable revolving door of alpine celebrities. youshouldabeenthere.......... - Dwayner ....and then I woke up...it's in Tacoma next week and you heard it hear first so start counting your travel change and make your car-pooling arrangements. Did I mention that Henry Kissinger was there?

Yes Dwayner says: HIJACKED AGAIN!!! hmmmmm.....Figger8 = Tacoma Traitor? Michelle don't wanna visit Tacoma to return my ledge? Alpine K ain't interested unless Off White can make it? Icegirlie......ah, never mind. Who's callin' the shots around here? We made a case and this goofy "ballroom" nonsense kept appearing.

I heard a BIG rumor that it was Tacoma's turn...ain't that right, Erik and Szyjakowski! Back in the day, even MattP, ehmmic, v, Alpine K, jules, Beck and many other Seattle-area big-shots and pube-club regulars used to come down to T-town for a change of pace....it would be sad to think that they have succumbed to the laziness of the quick-draw. "Take!", they yell, because the traditional word "Tension!" has too many syllables, yet "pink point" is just as complex as the word "disgrace". So, prove me wrong....get in your car and start driving south. - drunk Dwayner

and the report continues...."What were once deserted desert canyons of volcanic tuff were overnight transformed into bouldering opportunities of world-class note." "bouldering OPPORTUNITIES of WORLD-CLASS note." I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Here come the turtles!

The effortlessly cool MattP speaks truth. Mt. Index North Peak might not be the most aesthetic of ascents, but it usually is a nice adventure. I did the Traverse route several years ago, left the car at around noon and bivied on the tiny summit of the north peak where we could look down and see tiny little headlights on Highway 2 below and a great night sky above. The next day, the route finding and some of the climbing were challenging to the Middle and Main peaks and a lot of fun although we found no water that entire second hot August day until late afternoon when we hit the main peak and drank out of some puddles on top. The Traverse has been done in winter at least once, although I think it was during one of those crazy winters where there wasn't really snow up there...it certainly would be interesting in full-on winter conditions. Anyway...the point....Mt. Index....good. And bring lots of water in late summer. (By the way....I climbed the north peak.north face once with a guy who was drunk....and no, it wasn't me.....when we got to the summit I asked him where his water bottle was and he pulled out a big old flask of whiskey that he'd been nursing all day. The guy could operate like that....must take years of training. - Dwayner

Mr. Lummox must have read Melville's "Typee" where they're climbing up them jungle ridges and then did these horrendous descents on vines and such into a valley full of cannibals on Nuka Hiva in the Marquesas. That first picture in my post above is a place called "The Bay of Virgins" on Fatu Hiva. On Ua Pou, a local guy told me that Germans have occasionally come over to climb those huge and wild basalt towers. He even indicated that he had route descriptions. They'd be worth the trip. Pitcairn Island? Like most of these places, they're only accessible from offshore anchorages, conditions permitting, for Zodiacs or whatever. Less than 50(?) people live there and some are direct descendants of Fletcher Christian from the Bounty mutiny of 1790. The whole island population came out to our ship for lunch in one of their big longboats so we were glad they didn't swamp on their way back in rough seas. Most of these guys speak a form of British English and there were a few newcomers who came to live away from the rest of the world. (I think you have to live there 7 years before you can become a citizen). The island is hilly terrain and there is one "town" name Adamstown. The stuff on Bora Bora, Moorea and Tahiti looks climbable through dubious steep bush and jungle thrashing and the approaches would be hellish. I've experienced some of this stuff at its worst on such places as the Iao Needle on Maui......dangerous!!! Here's a terrified, younger Dwayner descending such a jungle spire: - Dwayner

Ahoy! Dwayner has just returned from drinkin' himself across the South Pacific with stops at such lively watering holes as Easter Island, Ducie Atoll, Henderson Island, Pitcairn, Mangareva, Puka Rua, Puka Puka, Fatu Hiva, Hiva Oa, Ua Pou, Takapoto, Matavia, Bora Bora, Tahiti and Moorea. And just in case you think the only climbing to be found in those parts is re-ascending a bar stool after being slapped silly by one of the local wahines, check out some of this action: Fatu Hiva in the Marquesas: Ua Pou, Marquesas (basalt towers): Bora Bora, Society Islands: Moorea, Society Islands: Lots of these: Lots of this: And plenty of these guys around to set you straight if you get out of line: aloha, Dwayner

Ursa Eagle says: "It's one weekend, get over it." Two points: It's not just one weekend....there are several different chapters of the Mountaineers and they do this stuff regularly. Secondly...the Everett Mountaineers is one of the "smaller" chapters. Thanks for the warning, though. Some of those Mounties are O.K., but I hope that the naughty few will dump their "we have the rock reserved for the day/weekend" attitude, will share the space if others choose to come, will be polite and make sure their garbage is gone afterwards. - Dwayner

Im in Tahiti and Im drunk!!!!!!!! - Dwayner

I'm in Bora Bora not far from Tahiti...and I'm Drunk!!!!! aloha, Dwayner

Im on Easter Island and Im drunk!!!! Pisco and beer! Yahoo!!!!! and not a sport'climber in sight! Im durnk...drkneu....Im drunk! - Dwwwayynner

Im in Santiago Chile and I´m DRUNK!!!!! Gateway to the Andes! - Dwayner

See The Wall live!: Wall Cam By the way, it's more properly referred to as "the Western Wall" today.