Dwayner

Just to get you excited....here are a few pictures of previous Tacoma drinkin' nights: These guys at a nearby table shared some cake and bought us several pitchers of beer: We even let sport-climbers sit with us like these two rad clip 'n go artists: Donna Top-Step (left), Miss Lisa (center) and Amber (right) may make an appearance this very evening.

All star celebrity gathering in Tacoma tonight at The Spar, including several special guest master alpinists. If you're too lazy to drive to Tacoma, you're probably too lazy to talk about, nor participate in, BIG TIME BIG WALL MOUNTAINEERING MASTERY. "So smoke your little smoke, drink your little drink, while you clip those bolts away!!!" - Dwayner

It's at the Spar in Tacoma, man! Everybody gonna be there! Didn't you read the other topic? - Dwayner

So now there is a bit of doubt coming from the Minx!!

And we'll see you there as well, veg.belay. Calling Capt. Caveman...and bring Fred. Let's get this rally going! Hey you! That guy over there....what you doing tonite? Thinking about going to Ballard? Just think about this...there is a reason Tacoma is called "the city of Destiny", and Ballard is called "Little Exit 38".

Meanwhile, while the pube-club regulars are fighting over driving a mile across town, Figger 8 gonna be drinkin' beer in Tacoma with the cool folk. I suggest that he pick the venue and the time. Minx....come on down! Eric...bring your posse. Off White...start driving north and you too Mr. Hamacher....and there's a bunch of other folks down here too. Dryad...get your fun self to Tacoma and bring your buddy Catbirdseat. Jules...I hear you's got's "relatives" in Tacoma. ehhmic....I KNOW you love Tacoma. And all the rest of you....ain't you sick of Ballard???????? You're all welcome. Figger 8 will tell you where. I suggest the Swiss or the Spar c. 7:00 PM. - Dwayner

"Minx voted for Tacoma, but since she's never been to a Pub Club her vote doesn't count for much." That's a load of crap. We want Minx here in Tacoma. - Dwayner

Don't you people understand???? There ain't gonna be no Grady's. It's in Tacoma this week! Mr. Parker...take the ferry to Tacoma and we'll have the limo pick you up.

According to Alpine K, it's Tacoma's turn. At the Swiss or the Spar, hosted by Figger 8. All of your cc.com favorites will be there along with a few you can't stand. - Dwayner

You're all out of line this time. Step A) Early Monday Morning, the tussle begins with Pube Club Dave in the early morning enthusiastically announcing his desire that "pup club" take place. Phrases like "hell ya! It's Monday, where we drinkin', people?" or "Sh*t ya! Pub club tomorrow, I'm ready!!!" etc. Step B) Several venues are proposed and jockeying for position ensues with claims of priorities, rotation rights, special circumstances (e.g. celebrity visitors), etc. Step C) Icegirl states her preference and Dwayner agrees. Step D) Things get ugly and one wonders how all will get along when things are finally settled. Step E) Someone proposes an often meaningless poll. Step F) Whoever has the strongest arm wins and the announcement is made late Tuesday after a lot of folks have left their computers. So let's do it right! It's Tacoma's turn.....blah, blah, blah..... I ain't goin' if it ain't near my house.....blah, blah, blah. And since Icegirl "dogged" me last week, I ain't fallin' for any of that stuff no mo! By the way, I was up at Taquitz Rock yesterday.....the place looked like a Chamonix crag covered with snow and such. Brrrrrrr! So phooey on your pube club....I'm drinkin a quart o'Mickey's in a dark room by myself right now, pretending Alpine K is making fun of me, Allison is buying me drinks, Beck is getting slapped by an old girlfriend, MattP is sharing a Darrington secret, ehmmic is grinning with a beer in the corner, Pube Club Dave is savoring each moment, and To the Top, fllebbflbebebellbe, and bunch of other cool cats are planning their next adventure. All that, and I didn't even have to drive to that hell known as Seattle. - Dwayner

These have been around for awhile but they are classics. Perhaps they will amuse those who haven't heard them before and don't blame me if you wet your pants from laughter! Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "would you like your usual this evening?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and *poof*... he disappears! Overheard in 18th century England: "Did you hear that George Berkeley died? His girlfriend stopped seeing him." What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vender? "Make me one with everything."

Here's a real knee-slapper, and it even has some applications to some of the stuff I've read on cc.com lately: A philosopher once had the following dream. First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher's surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn't answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared. Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers' objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn't answer it and disappeared. Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection. After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I'm asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I've found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will probably have forgotten it, and the world will really miss something!" With an iron effort, the philosopher forced himself to wake up, rush over to his desk, and write down his universal refutation. Then he jumped back into bed with a sigh of relief. The next morning when he awoke, he went over to the desk to see what he had written. It was, "That's what you say."

"4. The new Viagra ad with the black dude being asked all the stupid questions." Dude...the man had a special bounce in his step and an air of confidence hitherto unfamiliar to his colleagues! Give the guy a break! Just like cc.com...puttin' another brother down!

Ain't it ironic....some of you folks jump all over Mr. Dwayner for saying sport-climbing sucks, and then you go about saying "it's all, good, man!" BUT YOU SURE SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIKING!!

I didn't want to post this picture but since someone asked....here it is, the "drunk in the corner": And here is the drunk I found in my backyard this morning.... I recognized her from the pub club so she must have been hiding in the back seat of my car. I gave her some coffee, let her watch some TV, and then I told her to get dressed and go home. "Here's some cab fare", I said. "You're lucky you happened to have picked Dwayner's car to pass out in....some of them other clowns at pub-club.....they would have probably wrote "kick me" on your back in lipstick, tied your shoelaces together and put your hand in a bucket of hot water. Now consider this a lesson and go home and get cleaned up." "Cabby...", I said, "take this young lady home and keep the extra $20 as a tip." "Thanks, Dwayner!" said the cab-driver and as he drove away, the young pub-club adult beverage abuser put her hand up to the window and gave a little wave. I could read her lips..."Thanks, Dwayner", she said. "No more pub-club until next week for you, Missy!" I yelled in response....I wonder if she heard me??? The Cabbie:

I don't go to many of these things but let's just say, this is the one event people are gonna be talkin about for years to come. I came relatively late, so I don't know what manner of shenanigans took place before I got there. There was a rumor that ring-master MattP had already been there but left for another party....a party that no doubt paled in comparison to the one he vacated. The pube-clubbers had the basement of a strange little pub all to themselves. When I drove up, Uncle Tricky himself was standing outside the building as the official greeter, ready to laugh at folks parking on the hillside. Down in the packed basement, the party was raging. Tell me if you've heard of these familiar names: catbirdseat......Thinker.......treadtramp.....iceguy.......pullin' Fool....danielpatricksmith....henry kissinger.....enrique fermez jr......dr. J......flebflebflebflebflebflebflebfleb .....Allison....ehmmic, Chris W, ....Alpen Tom.....and many, many more fine and worthy folk. I brought some Mardi Gras beads which I distributed to three lovely ladies. I also gave away a bead necklace to one very ugly girl named Alpine K because he was looking left out....I'm sure he'll redistribute it in an effective manner (give it to a lonely housewife next time you make a housecall for a tree-removal! - just jokin', man! Gee whiz!) The celebrities kept coming and going. One in particular, Mr. Jim Nelson, was truly a special surprise. Miss Dryad was there and she was a lot of fun, as one might expect from someone named after a wood nymph. Icegirl did not appear. I asked the bartender upstairs if she was coming and he said "Shut your damn pie-hole...I don't know who the hell you're talking about." I went out front to ask Tricky to flag her down if she drives by, but it never happened. It was too late anyway...I had already given away my meager collection of beads. One great crowd of folks....each and everyone a cool cat! I got a few sassy picks of the evening for those who weren't there: Uncle Tricky was the official greeter out front. I told him to ditch the bear costume and just be his own, cool self! All our favorite cc.com gals were there....and then some. These two were caught red-handed planning their next sporty project at Vantage: Trask brought a date! I don't really want to know how they make this stuff but everyone was drinkin' it! Those who stuck around till after closing time crashed the neighbor's pool for a late-night dip. Henry Kissinger was there and autographed some books. Reinhold Messner showed up for about five minutes but he didn't like the beer and moved on. No one left without kissing The Royal Baby. - Dwayner.....calling it as he saw it.

If I do show up, no one will recognize me with my new beard, but here is a recent photo taken at Index:

Uhhh...I don't know how to answer this one. If I say "yes", are you going to stay away? Or you gonna get all excited? If I say "no", are you going to breathe the proverbial "sigh of relief"? Or are you going to be sad and dismayed? Oy gevalt! - Dwayner

Dude....you're going to be in a pub. It ain't plab to violate 'taters, man. Have some dang decency...stick it in a wide-mouthed bottle of Mickey's instead. (And don't try to share it with your buddy Dwayner). - Dwayner

A little history lesson. Back in the day, when this Pub Club thing was relatively new, we had a regular rotation, and the one time I argued that Tacoma was being skipped in the sequence, I was called a BIG, WHINEY BABY FOR FIGHTING OVER WHERE WE'RE GOING TO DRINK BEER!!!!!! Almost two years later, there are multiple threads fighting days in advance and well into Tuesday afternoons. MattP....sort it all out. Dave....get some help with your spelling because now we don't know whether to call you "Pube-Club Dave" or "Pup-Club David". - Dwayner P.S. . I've been to a few of those pub things....they aren't all that fun and important to justify all the wrestling, are they?

Muff says: "And Dwayner, we all find your obesssion with IG a little creepy, to say the very least." "We all"? Do you have multiple personalities or are you a member of the royal family? Face it, Muffer, the only reason you would write something like that is because it is a well-known fact that you don't like me. I like Icegirl....I've met her a couple of times and found her delightful. My defense of her from time to time is all in good fun. And if Icegirl has a problem with it, I'm sure she'll tell me to piss off. So enjoy getting your digs in if that makes you feel good and consider the possibility that maybe you're a little creepy yourself sometimes. - Dwayner

Thanks, Spankster.....but you got it all wrong. That's Dwayner's salad-munching mom in the middle , his sister is on the left, giving you stink-eye for being a smart-ass, and that's Dwayner's blonde stalker on the right (now former stalker thanks to the restraining order I requested). The guy on the far right is Alpine K who I suspect will be the next to receive her attentions. -

Alpine K: "Of course the D&H is 5 blocks from Icegirls house, so she wont have those nasty little worry lines in her face if she shows up." Take it back, Mister!!!! Icegirl doesn't have any worry lines! Why you..... Pictured above....the worry-free Miss Icegirl

S.K. Muffington III said: "How ever, if you choose to quit, you then have the right to be as much of a self rightus ass whole as you want to be." O.K. I quit. Sport-climbing is lame!!!

Here's a paradox for ya: Some say I have no right to dismiss clipping bolts if I myself have done so in the past (or even in the present). In other words, I should be a "bolt-virgin" before I can have a legitimate opinion. Now, let's say I am a bolt-virgin. Then some will say that I shouldn't knock clipping because I haven't experienced it!! Both are common fallacies. P.S. Beer for breakfast....don't knock it until you've tried it.