Dwayner

Toast said: "While in principle I'd like to say, Fuck the Pigs, if you're riding fast, you should be riding on the road anyway." Alistair said: "Then I will say it for you. Fuck the Pigs. That is the biggest crock of shit I have heard in a long time. Giving a bike a ticket for not wearing their helmut on a fucking bike path is retarded." Hey big-talkin' Toast and Alistair: Maybe you shouldn't bother calling "the pigs" when someone is busting into your car, house or whatever in the middle of night, or when you're getting mugged in Seattle, hit by a bike, car or bus, etc. And if these law enforcement officers should show up to assist you when you're in dire need, make sure you address them as "pigs". They'll probably insist on helping you despite yourselves. By the way....this isn't a troll to get people bitchin' about traffic ticket abuse, Larry the Tool, WTO controversies, etc. Those tend to be the exception. I think you should have a little more respect for a lot of these guys who face nasty thugs day in and day out, so you can live in relative safety to waste time climbing, spraying on the internet, etc. You don't like helmet laws? Complain to the lawmakers, not the enforcers.

It seems to me that the famous incident on K-2 with Pete Schoening, Dee Molenaar, etc. involved a quickly placed boot-axe belay which saved the day for the whole big rope-team.

Brother Erik: Couple of comments: Where is this elusive "best climbing shop in the state?" Is it the new Tacoma REI or that over-staffed place on South Tacoma Way? Either of them will do the job but I personally wouldn't call them particularly exceptional. What's the deal with "prolly"? I've seen you and Allison drop that one from time to time and I can only assume it's some sort of hip-hop slang for "probably"? RE: the UPS climbing wall. Technically, you're supposed to be a student or have a membership card offered to a limited number of outsiders for about $100 a year. It's indoors in an athletic facility and subject to open/close hours. So it's not like the UW Rock where one can hang out in good whether and come and go as you please. - Dwayner

In the course of my climbing career, I've fallen in probably two dozen crevasses. In perhaps six of those cases, being roped up saved my life. Once on a winter ascent of Rainier, we were descending from the summit toward Gib Chute, three of us roped up. I was in the middle. The guy 60 feet behind me slipped when his crampon came loose and came sliding off. I arrested and saved his life (and mine and the other guy). Roped on a glacier: good in the sense that you have an excellent chance of surviving if you're roped up to someone competent. Fall into a crevasse solo and not catch yourself: bad. Climb consistently steep snow/ice unroped: take your chances and the competent will probably survive. Climb consistently steep snow/ice roped together: better put an anchor or two in from time to time just in case, but a self-arrest might still work (especially if the lower guy slips). A lot of this stuff, though, is particularistic upon the route conditions and the experience of the climber(s). - Dwayner

Interesting Article! A few comments. Whether to bolt or not is a smoldering question in rock climbing these days as the sport comes to grips with growing popularity. Once the domain of a scruffy few who embraced an ethic of self-reliance, conservationism and risk, rock climbing is being overrun by a new generation less connected to its daring past. The result: a culture clash on the rocks. Dwayner say: "less connected" is a fine choice of words. I would suggest that there are many who have no idea that bolts are controversial or have a grasp of other ethical issues. (There are certainly some exceptions, including a few younger folk I've met with cc.com) "Everywhere there's a cliff, you'll find some bolted routes," Mr. Seurynck says. Dwayner opines: So what. Just because "everybody's doin' it" doesn't necessarily means it's appropriate. With at least 450,000 regulars now on the rocks in the U.S., up from about 200,000 a decade ago, land managers fear that bolting is getting out of hand. "All of them are looking to prevent a proliferation," says Randy Coffman, a National Parks Service official. Dwayner observes: 450,000!!! Dang! That's big business! Lure them into the gym, give them their 10 minute sport-climbing education and SELL THEM CRAP!!! But a minority of climbers, including some big names in the sport, believe restrictions are needed. The antibolters echo the position of environmental groups that say permanent bolts degrade rock, look bad and allow climbers to disturb raptor nests. Dwayner elaborates: Them "big names" include Dwayner and pope (ain't that right, pope!), although we prefer that the bolt-monkeys restrain themselves rather than have the government involved. And quit bolting next to cracks! Last September, the bolt question nearly derailed a summit of some of the world's best climbers who assembled in Innsbruck, Austria, to write a climbing code of conduct for the International Mountaineering and Climbing Federation. The fiercely probolt Swiss delegation -- from a country where rock climbing is promoted as safe, tourist-friendly "vertical hiking" -- threatened a walkout if the group adopted an antibolt position. Dwayner comments: Other safe, tourist-friendly, Swiss activities including: yodeling, eating chocolate, buying a watch and blowing the alphorn. Now, a prominent German climber, Alexander Huber, is soliciting support for an expedition to unbolt a route put up last year by an international group on El Gigante, a 2,500-foot cliff in Basaseachic National Park, Mexico. The route's name, "Logical Progression," particularly annoys traditionalists. Dwayner ask: Should be called "Thoughtless Regression." Is there a place where we can send Mr. Huber some money? "They see us as the old guys who are going to die, and they are the new generation, and they call their style the new style," the 35-year-old Mr. Huber says. Dwayner notes: "old guys who are going to die" includes a 35-year old hardman! But Luke Laeser, 29, who spent two months last year affixing the route's 380 bolts, says the route is just too dangerous without bolts. "We knew some people wouldn't agree with it," he says. "But there's not one way to do things." Dwayner contends: Too dangerous? Then stay off it. Come back when you're up for the challenge and don't forget to wear a helmet.

Pube Club....Engine House 9....Tacoma. Come meet special celebrity Big Wall Eddie. Also....eagerly awaiting rare appearances by the likes of Beck, Icegirl, Captain Caveman, Off White and Trask (incognito). Time: c. 7:00, 7:30. 8:00 PM Find out about the magic that is Tacoma! - Dwayner, who started "pube club" at about 5:30 this morning:

Another difference: Minx says she's coming to Tacoma but then doesn't. but then again, maybe she doesn't show up in Seattle either.

Nacho.....get your butt back into the Library and start working on those Incompletes. The alternative event was a huge success. A report may follow soon but right now, I have a date with several Taco Bell Enchilada Chicken Bowls and a sixer of Mickey's. - Dwayner

North side of Lane Peak: thin narrow chute on the very far left: Lover's Lane Two major chutes forming a sort of V: Left: The Zipper Right: The Fly Lover's Lane actually ends at a cliff above the Zipper into which one can traverse or rappel. There are also a couple of chutes running up the right hand side of the wall in the upper part of the Zipper. Also, a route starting in a small chute in the middle of the face between the Zipper and the Fly: north face direct. It's pretty bushy and the crux is getting over a loose, reddish, vertical band of rock between the lower and upper face. (5.7?). - Dwayner

Dude....listen to Figger 8......spend a few extra shekels on the 5 day seminar. you will actually learn something and climb Rainier! I took one of them things 25 years ago and it was a great start. we were based out of Camp Muir where we went ice climbing, did crevasse rescue, glacier travel plus self-arrest, of course. And you're up there on Mt. Rainier which is the best part. The summit day was easier because we'd been up at 10,000 feet for almost 4 days. you won't learn much on the three day climb except self-arrest, and a few pointers. The 3-day climbs are mostly for people who just want to climb Rainier as some sort of goal so you don't tend to find a lot of people serious about climbing in there. However, people in the seminars, which are a lot smaller, are there to learn the mountain skills. I have a few issues with the way RMI does this and that, but I think you'll get your money's worth. Also, American Alpine Institute is good, and you'll probably learn a lot more, but again....Mt. Rainier!!! Good luck! Dwayner

Save your ride for RAMROD (July 31). Look for Dwayner running on the side of the road with a croquet mallet.

Dwayner and Pope are continuing to work on our concept of providing an alternative event to the FF.Rockfest in Leavenworth this weekend for those of you who don't want to feel the sales pressure of commerical sponsors. Although we've gotten a lot of positive responses, a number of people have expressed concern that our "Goodtime Boulderin' Rodeo" doesn't have enough events. To address this problem, here is an update comparing what Rockfest has to offer vs. the alternative event. Rockfest: Rock shoe demo at barney's rubble Boulderin' Rodeo: They's just wants you to buy new shoes! This is what we're gonna do: Meet us across the street at Bruce's Boulder and we're going to try on each other's shoes. A can of Lysol will be provided. Rockfest:Free clinics at barney's rubble Boulderin' Rodeo:No need to set up a clinic specifically for climbers in Icicle Canyon although perhaps no other group is more worthy. I hear there's a free clinic in Leavenworth or Wenatchee where you can have your curious rashes examined. Rockfest:Bridgecreek group campsite. BBQ, Party Boulderin' Rodeo:Weenie roast at 8-mile CG followed by a new drinking game we invented which is a combination of strip poker and Twister. Rockfest:Outdoor slideshow by Brittany Griffith Boulderin' Rodeo: Never heard of Miss Griffith but were going to see about getting Big Lou. We haven't talked to him yet because we're kinda awestruck and nervous. Big Lou Either way, there will be a guest appearance by Sushi Dog. Rockfest:Massive fundraising gear raffle Boulderin' Rodeo: See original post regarding our need for you to give us funds. Hint: Rockfest:Pancake breakfast Bouldering Rodeo: Pancakes are overated. We're havin' sausages...sauna sausages! Rockfest:Bouldering tour of the Leavenworth area Boulderin' Rodeo: Instead of 150 folks crowding and tripping over themselves with their pads, we got "The Mattress". Pay and take your plops as described in the original post.

This thing has been going on for years. They were FAXing that crap to people before E-mail became popular. I literally get as many as 8 to 10 of those a day, mostly from Nigeria but from other African countries as well. And somehow, I've also made it on a Pakistani mailing list for buying cheap cameras and other merchandising offers. 90% of my E-mail now is now nonsense!

Dane wrote: "Between Karl's death and Katie's injury, Katie had bought LAG from Karl's wife IIRC. Karl had bought Donini out just prior to his death in SA. By every account it was the loss of Karl that ended LAGs. I think Katie was ready to move on by my memories of the time. Everyone else was already gone in one way or another after Karl's death is how it seemed to me. I had been working in Canada and Alaska earlier and was hired by Karl just before his fatal trip. My involvement was short lived working for Katie and watching the business die." Good recollections of interesting times, Dane. Karl Schneider died in 1984 just before the guiding season (which again included many REI clients) and that summer, the company seemed a bit rudderless and was really slipping without him. Donini was still around, maybe as a figure head, because I remember soliciting his permission for this or that. I wasn't involved in Katie's manifestation of LAG the next year but recall talking to Scott Fischer about working for Mountain Madness as a rock guide in 1985. I ended up instead in Israel for the next couple of summers. I heard that maybe Katie in turn sold LAG to somebody in Oregon? I really didn't have much to do with them after 1984. Those were interesting times and I agree with you that there were fewer climbers back then and a lot less competition for space. I think I met you a few times. Wasn't there a picture of you on the Eiger North Face hanging in the old Gustav's? (the old one before it burned down.) Now that was an interesting place! Some groovy vegetarian hippies had been running it at one time and named all their menu items after Leavenworth rock climbs. And there were cool climbing photos on the walls. And a nice fenced in beer garden on street level. Back in the day, me and a guy name Mike Adams spent part of a summer living under the Rat Creek Boulder. We found a lot of dropped gear and such and took it in to town to the owner of Gustav's. He gave us $5 and some burritos for the gear and we used the money to buy a #10 can of pork and beans which we kept out at the boulder and reheated as necessary. It took us several days to eat that big can even after it filled with rain water one day and one night we woke up to see a deer having a taste. dem's wuz da daze! - Dwayner

You know...we're just trying to have some fun here, but this guy Sphinx is getting a bit over the top and takin' this schtick way too seriously. Check out these recent quotes. A little commentary follows. "I can understand why you'd be bitter, not getting laid in twenty years can do that." Commentary: "getting laid" or not is, like, so frat-boy!You wouldn't know and it ain't your bidness anyway. "And how DARE those boulderers have fun! They should all be shot!" Commentary:It's O.K. to be LAME in this country! Really! Boulder on! Have fun! "You're getting, old, fag." "Your maturity is astounding." Commentary: Very mature of you to use the term, "fag". If you are not getting old, than you are either making no progress or regressing to childhood. Where do you stand? "Thanks for providing such an excellent role model." Commentary: Sorry to disappoint you. I'm not here to be your role model. "You know, many people climb sport just so they won't have to run into you at the crags." Commentary: Simply not true. Tell ya what, Sparky...you can start bitching when I somehow prevent you from clipping bolts or bouldering. Until then, maybe when you see the name "Dwayner" as the source of a post on cc.com, you should just skip it and move on. We're good sports, though. If you happen to swing on by our "Rodeo", we'll give you two free plops. ahoy! - Dwayner

"Sphinx...you are a humorless, ignorant bore." And look whom we've rounded up to play at our Rodeo!

Call us deadbeats, but some of us think this "Rockfest" thing this weekend is a bit much. You think the Mountaineers crowd out the climbing areas? Well think about this dang deal in Leavenworth this weekend...the ultimate goal is to get you excited so you can BUY MORE CRAP!!! It's going to happen whether we like it or not so me and my buddy "pope" are putting on our own counter-event....it's called Dwayner and Pope's Goodtime Boulderin' Rodeo. This is how it works: me and pope found an old mattress near the railroad tracks by South Tacoma Way in Tacoma. It's got some major pee-stains and a few cigarette burns but otherwise, it will hold a tumble off a boulder like few others. Here it is (the one on top): On Saturday, look for the mattress strapped to the top of one of our vehicles or pull over to the side of the road when you see the two of us ferrying "the pad" to a new site. We will be setting it up below some of the choicest of bouldering routes in Icicle Canyon. To lesten impact, we are limiting the Rodeo to Gurlz only. There will be a glass pickle jar nearby and we will be charging 50 cents a plop or you can get a punchcard: 3 plops for $5. Sit-starts are encouraged and ladies may bring their boyfriends for an extra-dollar providing the boyz shout classic calls of encouragement....you know, stuff like, "send it!" and "dyno for the mono-doight!" The money accumulated will go to a good cause: you see, Dwayner and pope are now addicted to those new Taco Bell Enchilada Chicken and Southwest Steak Bowls. mmmmm! And we've developed a nasty habit. Listen! It's symbiotic....you get some bouldering safety, and we fatten up for mountaineering excellence....everybody wins! Sure beats this nonsense: More details to follow. - Dwayner

Nice comments, Dane. I never took it personally. But here's a little history. You said: "The only reason LAG ran small parties is because they only had small bookings before going out of business. Although that was the intended client to guide ratio as I remember, filling classes and trips was the actual reason group sizes stayed small. Adding a guide would have kept the ratio down but not the group size." That's not actually the case. It was a decent business. We were kept quite busy and the guides usually spread out because we realized that small group size was in the best interest of both the clients, ourselves and the areas we worked in. During its heyday in the early 1980's, Leavenworth Alpine Guides not only had numerous independent clients, but we also had the contract for the REI climbing school (which I don't think they offer anymore.) Curiously, the guide service had an unusual string of bad luck. Our office, which was housed upstairs in Der Sportsmann, burned down (as did Der Sportsmann) back around 1982 or 3. We had a lot of our equipment there (and it was first-rate stuff!) but we bounced back. We also lost one of our senior guides, Dave Stutzman in an avalanche (on his own time) in the winter of 1983. The following summer, before the guiding season, we lost the company's manager, Karl Schneider (likewise in an avalanche on his own time). If I recall, without Schneider, who was an excellent climber and businessman, really ran the show, the company lost some managerial steam (I think busy Donini had moved from Leavenworth to Seattle by then) and was sold around 1985. There are only a few of us left, I think. Jeff Splitgerber died paragliding, Bob Nelson died on Mt. Goode? and Katie Kimble got her leg ripped off by a falling rock...although I heard they sewed it back on and she's fine. Alison Osius, Curt Haire, Donini and Dwayner and maybe a couple of others are still around. that's my side of it. - Dwayner

Some of you with crappy attitudes about guiding need to gain some perspective. I was a professional guide for a good while including several years with Jim Donini's Leavenworth Alpine Guides. We often operated right out of Leavenworth with permits and we did rock seminars at places like Castle Rock, Icicle Canyon and the Pinnacles and climbed all over the Cascades (except Rainier). The usual guide to client ratio for the beginning stuff seemed to be 1:4 and for the more advance stuff, it was usually smaller, often 2:1 or 1:1. (We also did our snow/ice/glacier stuff on Mt. Baker where there were several other guide services active.) I did a good number of trips up Snow Creek Wall with no more than one or two others. Here's some points to consider: 1) From the guide's perspective, the client is paying us to teach them the ropes, so to speak, and to provide them with a safe climbing experience. Although we are using the land, which we are entitled to use, it is our service and expertise that they are buying. It's like you taking your novice buddy up the Tooth, except we're experts in how to deal with novices. 2) As guides, we are good stewards of the land, with the goal of neither adding or taking away from the environment, but keeping it nice for ourselves and others. A good guide sees that the clients are well-educated in the needs of the local environment. It's to our advantage not to make a mess or cause controversy, and that goes along with a sincere love for the outdoors environment. We don't leave trash around and will educate and pick up for others when need be. 3) Ordinarily it should be difficult to discern a GOOD guided group from an ordinary group of climbers. The client/guide ratios would be small, but you might detect that the group is well-organized, the clients are asking a lot of questions, and the guide might stand out as one who seems to be running the show and is dressed, perhaps, more professionally as a climber. The necessary small numbers, especially on rock, prevent the obnoxious Mountie-like commandeering of whole areas for the purpose of instruction. A good guide shares the rock with others as a positive representative of their profession and company. 4)Your chances of being held up for hours on a route such as Outer Space on Snow Creek Wall by a guided party are much smaller than the growing gumby-factor. Most guides won't take people on climbs that are way over their heads. They will lead the climb and provide the confidence and efficiency to bring their people to the top. 5)A guide's clients have the same right to be in the mountains as anyone else. I don't know what the permit system is like now, so I can't argue if or how many non-guided people might be locked out of a visit to specific areas due to a quota. Personally, I'd like to see a lot less use permits and restrictions (alhtough I personally have no love for snowmobiles and other noisy machines). If it were a permitless system, the guides would, and should, be role models for low-impact as they should already be. 6)By the way, the stuff I said above doesn't necessarily to the situation on Rainier. They got their own little machine going on there with big numbers, etc. - Dwayner P.S. And you can yack about river rafters too. I think those suckers likewise use public land, get permits, etc.

Personally, I think we should have this Pube-Club thing wherever Icegirl wants to have it. That's just my suggestion. - Dwayner P.S. Hey Icegirl.....uh.....uh.....do you need your car waxed while you're drinking beer? Hotcha!

And maybe next week, some guy will ride his unicycle from Oslo to Everest. "Watch out folks! Get outta da way! I'm Everest-bound!"

You know....a lot of people climb Denali, and that's cool.....not many people ride their bikes from Seattle to Alaska and that takes some special stamina. But while everyone yoo-hoo's and high-five's this Erden fellow, let's not forget that he's got a nice support team propping him up, including some dudes who hiked with him from Talkeetna to the Kahiltna across bear-country and then a few other dudes who met him on the glacier and climbed the mountain with him. If he's trying to do this "Goran-Kropp" style, he's got a lot of back-up. Personally, I want to hear more about my buddy Eddie Espinoza who has spent a lot of time helping this guy. Eddie just summited Big Mac with the bicycle-man....have a beer, Eddie! . He might be hiking out with Erden. He bought a gun in case bears come after them. - Dwayner.....sort of impressed by the bike ride but that's it.

Dude.....have some respect. Hillary not only pushed the limits of his day, but ever since, he has given back to Nepal by building schools and supporting other great projects in that country. I met the man once and he was very humble and gave full credit to Tenzing even though everyone knows Ed hit the summit first. He's got every right to his opinion and you can imagine what a distinguished guy like that must think when he sees a basecamp full of wankers kicking back and swilling beer like a bunch of frat boys in down parkas. (Ain't we wild and crazy?!!! We're climbers and we're getting tanked at Everest Base Camp.....that's cuz we're just a bunch of wild and crazy climbers!!!! Just like them wild and wacky Burgess Brothers!!! yup! wild and wacky!" Sounds like a pretty pathetic scene to me! And its basically a party up there in celebration of HIS achievement!!! - Dwayner...who prefers to drink elsewhere.

Gee whiz! Another BIG NORTHWEST EARTHQUAKE!!! 3.4 or whatever! Watch your favorite local TV station where people will call in with their very interesting stories like, "yup, I felt it out here in Spanaway" and then live coverage of a few shampoo bottles that fell off a shelf at Safeway. You want earthquake? I had the misfortune of being in the last two huge ones in L.A. (1971 and1994) and that little rattle we had a couple of years ago in Seattle was a gentle shake in comparison. That last one in L.A. (the "Northridge quake") occurred in the dark of night and some of my students who were in tents felt the full jello effect at ground level. I went out to check on them and told them to watch out for the huge chasm that had opened up in front of their campsite...I was just jokin' with them but they were terrified. We went out climbing for a few days afterwards until we found out which freeways were destroyed and the other damage and then plotted our way back to the Northwest. - Dwayner

Dwayner has been on Iberia dozens of times. Usually from and to London. You can get a cheap ticket from Seattle to London on British Airways in the winter, and then on Iberia to Madrid, Barcelona or wherever. I've also been on Iberia direct to Madrid from Chicago (starting with a partner airline - American? - in Seattle). Iberia be a pretty good airline....when they're not on strike! Good service, decent food, competent pilots, usually on-time. - Dwayner