pope

Wow, Glassgow, I can see where you fancy yourself as some kind of literary critic!

Glassgowkiss.....how do you crank the 5.8's with all of that crap hanging off your ass?

The corporeal manifestation of Dwayner Fuck Dwayner, Free Pope! There you have it. There are the data that prove it: the funny schtick and writing talent have been moderated right out the door. I provide you guys with a copy of some of the most hilarious stufF on the net and the response is entirely predictable. L-A-M-E!

Second-rate? Please point me to something posted to this site in the last six months that is remotely as funny as his stuff. You won't find it. Fact is, you and your buddies have moderated the funny schtick and writing talent right out the door. Just thought I'd let people know where they can find it if they miss it. And I think they do. And I think it bugs the hell out of you. Hence, the personal attacks. Do you really want to go tit-for-tat with Dwayner on the subject of accomplishments? Why limit it to climbing?

Anybody going to Index this week?

I get the impression you might enjoy the place, gutter mouth.

That's sad news Alpine. But I've found a network that is more than likely to welcome you and your sport-climbing buddies: Welcome, AlpineK!

Now here's a Johnny Cash hit that's appropriate this morning (written by Chris Cross ): Well I woke up Sunday morning With no way to hold my head, that didn't hurt And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, So I had one more for dessert. Then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes And found my cleanest dirty shirt. Then I washed my face and combed my hair And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day. I'd smoked my mind the night before With cigarettes and the songs I'd been pickin' But I lit my first and watched a small kid Playin' with a can that he was kicking Then I walked across the street And caught the Sunday smell of someone's fryin' chicken And it took me back to somethin' That I'd lost somewhere, somehow along the way. Chorus: On a Sunday morning sidewalk I'm wishing Lord that I was stoned 'Cause there's something in a Sunday That makes a body feel alone. And there's nothin' short of dyin' That's half as lonesome as the sound Of a sleepin' city sidewalk And Sunday mornin' comin' down. In the park I saw a daddy With a laughin' little girl who he was swingin' And I stopped beside a Sunday school And listened to the songs they were singin' Then I headed down the street And somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin' And it echoed thru the canyon Like the disappearing dreams of yesterday. Repeat Chorus

Let's not forget why we started this conflict! We're supplying armored vehicles as fast as they can be produced!

And they rhyme! Al's a genius in France! Now contrast this with some of the unimaginative, vulgar/violent crap these kids are quoting in this thread. This country really is going down the toilet in a commodial spiral.

Let's build a stairway to the stars And climb that stairway to the stars With Love beside us To fill the night with a song We'll hear the sound of violins Out yonder where the blue begins The moon will guide us As we go drifting along. Can't we sail away on a lazy daisy petal Over the rim of the hills? Can't we sail away on a little dream Settle high on the crest of a thrill? Let's build a stairway to the stars A lovely lovely stairway to the stars It would be heaven To climb to heaven with you Let's build a stairway to the stars And climb that stairway to the stars Yes we're climbing Climbing to that stairway to the stars Stars, stars, stars The sound of violins Way out yonder where the blue begins The moon will guide us As we go drift drift drifting along Can't we sail away on a lazy daisy petal Over the rim of the hills? Can't we sail away on a little dream Settle high on the crest of a thrill? Keep building the stairway to the stars A lovely stairway to the stars It would be heaven Heaven to climb with you.

You bet! Bob by Al Yankovic Lyrics: I, man, am regal - a German am I Never odd or even If I had a hi-fi Madam, I'm Adam Too hot to hoot No lemons, no melon Too bad I hid a boot Lisa Bonet ate no basil Warsaw was raw Was it a car or a cat I saw? Rise to vote, sir Do geese see God? "Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod Rats live on no evil star Won't lovers revolt now? Race fast, safe car Pa's a sap Ma is as selfless as I am May a moody baby doom a yam? Ah, Satan sees Natasha No devil lived on Lonely Tylenol Not a banana baton No "x" in "Nixon" O, stone, be not so O Geronimo, no minor ego "Naomi," I moan "A Toyota's a Toyota" A dog, a panic in a pagoda Oh no! Don Ho! Nurse, I spy gypsies - run! Senile felines Now I see bees I won UFO tofu We panic in a pew Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog! Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog

This is just a little samba, built upon a single note Other notes are sure to follow but the root is still that note ... Now this new note is the consequence of the one we've just been through As I'm bound to be the unavoidable consequence of you ... There's so many people who can talk and talk and talk And just say nothing or nearly nothing I have used up all the scale I know and at the end I've come To nothing I mean nothing So I come back to my first note as I must come back to you I will pour into that one note all the love I feel for you Any one who wants the whole show show do-re-mi-fa-so-la-si-do He will find himself with no show better play the note you know.

Melinda Green's variation is kind of cool:

Education in Saudi Arabia: Education in the "liberal" state of Washington: Interesting juxtaposition.

If I were required to teach Creationism I would be sure to preface every lecture with "Today we're going to discuss Santa, the Easter Bunny and Creation Science."

It has something to do with disgust at the hypocritical, smoke-up-the-ass-blowing American liberals who feign care and concern for the US economy and card-carrying "working Americans", yet, in droves prefer to screw them by buying foreign cars. You're a jerk. You're asking me to buy a piece-of-shit design that has resulted from Detroit's obsession with style and profit instead of producing a reliable vehicle. I won't do it. I've owned four Hondas and I apologize to nobody. On the average, they've provided 30+ m.p.g. and never required even a clutch change. I never have any trouble passing emissions standards. Two of them were manufactured in Canada, BTW.

Fair enough, Fairweather. Not only are creation beliefs and evolution compatible, you simply cannot believe in the Good Book's account of Noah's flood unless you acknowledge evolution. It was explained to me that if one male and one female representative of each species of beetle on Earth today were placed on Noah's arc, there would have been no room for even one grasshopper. However many species of beetle actually were on the arc, they must have undergone many mutations since the Fountains of the Deep ceased to flow.

They have already sent representatives to Earth. Looks like we'll try to finance phase II of an interplanetary exchange

Hey Alpine, yesterday I made my first trip to the new stadium. Yeah, it sucks getting punched out by a mediocre team like the Bills, yet the Hawks have played other games especially well (2nd half of the Patriots game, for example). I blame the coaching, when they have enough talent to play well in really big games but then fall apart at home against a 2nd-rate team. Too many mistakes that continue to appear (dropped balls), too many emotional swings. How about the Bill's kicker recovering his own kick to start the 2nd half? The Hawks weren't flat, they were sleeping. And the defensive play calling was far too conservative, with very little pressure on Bledsoe until when they finally rushed five they got beat with the screen. But they're still in 1st place, right?

Yeah, that reminds me that after gays are further marginalized through a constitutional amendment, the President will introduce legislation to proclaim a national skin color:

Try Dante's in the U-District. One year they had dollar pitchers on Turkey Day.

I kind of like Neil Diamond. Who could resist tapping his toe to the snappy sounds of Cracklin' Rose, for example? But last year I was given a Neil Diamond Christmas CD and I've got to say that it is friggin' terrible.