pope

"A Wild Turkey on the rocks for my good friend Dr. Hemlock, and I would like....I would like a frozen Dike-er-ee!" Miles Mello

Recent Dick siting: I saw Dick in Leavenworth last summer. He invited me to scrub boulders up at the Lakes but I blew him off. One of the proudest moments of my life: I was a dick to Dick.

The Edge is the left edge of the slab, left of Five Gray Knobs and left of the big pine, but just right of Liquid Nitrogen.

A few years ago, a superb sport climber named Stephanie decided to try this hairball 5.10R slab, even though neither slabs nor big lead outs particularly appealed to her. She took several enormous tumbles, any one of which would have caused a less determined climber to sell his rack. She could have quit, she could have bitched about the tremendous distance between bolts; instead, she persisted and eventually clipped the belay. She gained my respect, not only for her display of courage, but mostly for the way she was able to try playing the game by respecting another set of rules. The Edge has provided a sense of accomplishment for many who have dared to tread between its sparsely placed bolts...not just for macho, arrogant trad climbers, but also for sport climbers, and also for women. Saturday, I hiked up to climb on Wart Wall, and was less than impressed to see that somebody had failed to acquire the skills necessary to meet the Edge's challenge. Somebody had failed to recognize that many other climbers appreciate the Edge for the focus and composure it historically required. I'm sorry to say that this climb has been reduced from a grand, slab climber's test piece to what appears to be a bolt ladder for short people. With so many well-protect clip climbs in the area, I just can't see why this must be. Please, if you're responsible for this, we need to talk. I fully intend to restore this route, and I'd like to compensate you for your hardware.

Bouldering first ascents? Are you kidding? Boulders are for fun. Boulders were placed on this earth so that a guy can go climbing with his girlfriend without having to trust her belay. First ascents? That sort of documentation is pointless, like setting a milk pail under a bull. But if you're eyeing a new project, two things are certainly true: Dick Cilley already did it, and Victor will certainly bolt it.

Back in the day, one could step off Jell-O Tower and work out left to a face climb that is quite dirty now. This was called Upper Dan's. Never climbed it but I've seen it done. Lots of nervous whimpering, peeing in the pull-ups, etc. About a decade ago, Jim Nelson bolted a route right of that, calling it Midway Direct Direct. I think it was a mostly independent line, but as such, it was certainly squeezed in between old Upper Dan's and Midway Direct. Midway Direct is a climb that diverges left from Midway about 30 feet up from Jell-O Tower; it goes 5.6R. Recently, Dan's Dreadful Direct (starting from Logger's Ledge, left of Damnation) was retro-bolted, inspite of at least three leads in its historic condition. I've heard that six bolts were added and that the pitch is 100 feet, terminating at a new bolt anchor. Unless other modifications occurred, the grade should be about 5.11, but toward the lower end.

A couple of responses to previous posts. Firstly, now that I know who Retrosaurus is, I think it's unfortunate that a number of responders haven't met him...I think they'd realize he's not arrogant or excessively macho. He simply understands respect: respect for wilderness, respect for those who climb in an attempt to leave the rock the way they found it, even when adopting this style of ascent requires risk and enormous energy. Retrosaurus has certainly seen a few seasons go by, and, as has been previously suggested, he remembers what climbing was like before Vantage and the Icicle Canyon acquired their bolt grids. I remember it too. It was f#%king beautiful. I could never understand why people would want to litter these fifty-foot top-rope cliffs to produce contrived "leads". Many of the climbers responsible for this mess have moved on to other pursuits like wind surfing, and after only a decade or so, the adventure and mystery have been engineered out of the canyons and buried in memory. And yet, I don't think Retrosaurus is some bitter old trad climber living on a memory. If anything, guys like Retro are looking forward to a future in which generations of climbers can experience wilderness, a future in which virgin and crackless granite walls still wait for climbers brave enough to start from the bottom and take their chances. Finally, let me add that most "trad" climbers are not entirely against bolts. Everybody loves face climbing and this requires either bolt protection or reckless abandon. And it's true that once a bolt is placed, it might be difficult for subsequent climbers to tell whether it was placed on lead. So, what's the diffence? Basically, lead bolting is what I would call real sport climbing. You're giving the rock a chance, allowing for the possibility that the mountain is bigger than you are. And if you succeed, then your route and the bolts you placed represent an investment that can't be measured in dollars or letter grades: you've invested a piece of your ass, you've drilled bolts to save your life. Nobody is going to chop your route, because you've shown respect for the rock.

The American Ethic (aka, Yosemite Ethic) is not a myth. For years it served as the perfect solution to the same problems/questions we seem to face on Highway 20. For those who feel compelled to tackle big faces on which bolt protection will be necessary, the American Ethic says to start from the bottom, placing all gear on the lead. A variation allows that one may hang from a hook to sink a bolt. It should probably be drilled by hand. Simple to state, simple to practice. This approach has allowed for some spectacular face climbs, and nobody is going to chop your project when you've demonstrated the guts, skill and determination to adopt this ethic. You can still get in 3/8" bolts if you're man enough, and the result will be something in which you may take pride, something which will bring you respect. The "community" then inherits a climb with history and character, and our limited supply of accessible yet virgin stone isn't so quickly and expediently consumed. That Ray Jardine chipped a bucket ladder on the Nose....how do the actions of one maverick invalidate an entire tradition? Also, when some greedy neophyte gets a Bosch for Christmas and decides to trash Washington Pass with top-down bolts, I agree that if many, many climbers object, there must be a reaction. Imagine this sort of "respect-diverse-interpretations" approach to recreation in Mount Rainier Naitonal Park. What if I thought MRNP was a great place to ride motocross or drive my jeep? Seems ridiculous, but without rules and consequences, this would undoubtably happen. Rock climbing has wilderness appeal to most of its participants, and to preserve this charater, we should discourage, with whatever means necessary, the trends of rap bolting and chipping at Washington Pass. I'm with Wallstein on this one.

Future of the sport....let's see. I would suggest that, as with most interesting questions, we might turn to physics for an answer. Yes, physics. The focus of mountaineering aspirations, as reflected in the popular media, appears to be accelerating in a definite direction. Everest and the highest, most remote summits of Asia once dominated the dreams of the most talented alpinists. The walls of Yosemite and the spires of Chamonix were just preparatory courses for the real stuff. Later, climbers began to consider big walls as ultimate prizes, and an increasing number of very talented climbers began looking at two-pitch free climbs as an end, as more than just practice for the real thing. Subsequently, sport climbing taught us that 40 feet of overhanging rock set the standards, and most recently many climbers are going cordless...walking around with goofy "sketch pads" strapped to their backs in search of the latest rad V-whatever problems. Like our imaginations, the projects become narrower. Like our minds, the goals become smaller, and momentum dictates that the next development, the next fad will be.....hey, I wonder whether anybody has done the sit-start on Thin Fingers?

Absolutely! The style in which you climb is your business. If Billy wants to free solo a fist crack and if Bob wants to aid it on fat cams, then each guys gets what he wants. The experience of subsequent parties is not jeopardized in the way that pin scars, chicken bolts and chipping affect future parties' experiences. Style does become an issue when people climb in poor style and fail to disclose the details when they get back to camp. A few years ago, I heard a lot of buzz about a guy (name sounds like a girl's) who "flashed" ROTC!! Not a lot of people do this, and I was slapping the guy on the back for twenty minutes before he admitted to placing all of the gear on rap. Same accomplishment? A lot of people didn't hear this part of the story.

Mike, I've met this Mack fellow. Think he's a wrastlin' coach out in Gig Harbor or somewhere out there. He did the Salathe with my friend Mike. Apparently he led the Hollow Flake with only two slings and two 'biners (for the belay). Definitely Type-A if I remember, and a damn good climber (if you don't believe me, just ask him).

Yeah, the good folks at REI, they'll never steer you down the wrong road. Their knowledgeable and friendly sales staff are all outdoor enthusiast. I can't tell you how many times they've helped me out with a tough question, like how to match my 'biners to the color of my quick clips, or whether to go with positive or negative clearance on my axe. In fact, they once sold my wife a pair of socks that would "never give you blisters." What a resource. Got a tough question about the great outdoors, chances are the guy or gal in the green vest will know the answer. Donny said it, I believe it.

Erik, my man, you are so right on. The Valley Cobbler rocks. I've never had a problem with this guy, and his resole work tends to preserve the original shape of the shoe, which is pretty important. Another fellow (no names mentioned, because Dave is a heck of a nice guy too) would return my shoes with a more rounded toe profile. I blame those damn shoes for the drop in my rock climbing standard (my family and spare tire have nothing to do with it). The Valley Cobbler will also customize your resole thickness: you may request a thickness somewhere between full weight and slipper weight.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! [This message has been edited by pope (edited 03-15-2001).]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! [This message has been edited by pope (edited 03-15-2001).]

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Of course she had to drink water, but this WIZMO thing allowed her to pee like a man, without getting out of her harness and bibs. She could write her name in the snow, have a sward fight....everything a man could do. In fact, she was so burly and fit, it was just like climbing with a man, so long as we weren't having a conversation.

Joy, You've received a lot of great advice from a number of competent mountaineers. In particular, fitness and hydration are important not only for an enJOYable experience, but also for safety: fresh legs and a sharp mind help prevent tragedies, while a reserve of energy and will is mandatory should self-rescue become necessary. The problem with staying hydrated is that you've got to pee (when you're not peeing, you're not hydrated); this presents problems when you're a girl. I once climbed the big "R" with a girl named Franci, and she had found a splendid device called a WIZMO, which allowed her to answer nature's calls with wind pants and harness in situ. In fact, she could write her name in the snow. Pretty cool. [This message has been edited by pope (edited 03-05-2001).]

Yo, Yossarian! So, you want to climb a big wall but you don't know how? You might think about the Eiger. Yeah, you know, the Mordwand. It goes at about 5.5 with a little fixed/clean aid, and by today's standards, it certainly qualifies as an introductory wall climb. I heard it was soloed in a day by a girl. How hard can it be? This summer, there will be an international climb on the Eiger, with a Frenchman, and Austrian, a German, and an American (alternating for Lawrence Scott...he had an accident). If you think you might be in for it, his position on the team remains open, and I know of a great climbing school (more of a swinging singles club these days) where you can get off the sauce and in shape for the climb.

Right on, man. Let's have a few natural climbs for those of us who would like to escape all of the engineering and controlled experiences of our daily existence. By the way, traditional bolting ethics dictate that when the first ascent party believes a bolt is NOT necessary, future parties should respect their decision and avoid adding bolts. When numerous climbers have led a pitch which requires guts, skill and determination (for both success and survival), I don't think the first ascent party (or anybody else) has the right to add or permit additional bolts. I didn't chop Stunning Cu..pardon me, Cunning Stunt, and I don't know who did, but I think the guy deserves a slap on the back.

I'm sure somebody would love to see bolts added to the upper crack pitches of Outerspace....sure would be safer, and that area sees a lot of traffic. In fact, with bolts we could increase the traffic, and wouldn't that be Jim Dandy? How about a gondola up the Disappointment Cleaver? Anybody object?

Alex, Relax, buddy, pal, sweetheart. I can see that you've got winter mountaineering on the agenda and that you have little time for such foolery. If you really want some hot ideas for cold climbs, let me lay a few on you: West Tiger(North Face, of course) in the Issaquah Alps. Try going light--I think that a winter ascent of this manly hill would challenge the hardiest of NW alpinists, but to do this without bivouac would firmly establish you in the serious circle to which you so obviously aspire. The "Great Dihedral" just left of the "River Face" on Bruce's Boulder. In contrast to my previous suggestion, this adventure could develop into a real expedition, what with the requisite ski approach and the fact that very few parties have attempted the dihedral in winter. Since you'll be pushing the limits of NW mountaineering on relatively unknown ground, bring it all: ice pitons, rock gear, bat tent, GPS, bug spray, bolt gun, Dolt Cart, etc. Finally, if you manage both of these worthy projects in one season, you might think about coming in out of the elements and signing up for one of the many splendid seminars offered down at the Pervertical World this winter! I mean, let's face it man, we could all use a few more pointers on how to refine our back-stepping technique! Cheers.

Well, I got you a gun, a C2 special with no serial numbers. It's in the candy box. Now, what's this about wasting me? Hemlock, I think it's only fare to warn you that I'm a black belt.....Karate! Geeeehaaaaa!

That friggin' Hemlock thinks he's so god damned cute. I wonder what he'd think if he knew this whole thing was a fake. Sure, that agent Wormwood, he was supposed to get killed. Why do you think we hired the drunken bum. The germ formula? That's the really cute part...it's a phony!