pope

Jesus Christ! Moderators? MODERATORS! Move this to SPRAY at once!

You must be flexible.

Level 4: score = 1156, bonus = 575. Then my attention span was exceeded. Here's a cool one...upper levels are easy if you can figure out the strategy. go get 'em sparky

Or out in the alley doin' the "safety break" on Tuesday night.

I'm with Fairweather. That's frickin' hilarious!

Nothing surprises me. I've seen it all.

I lost respect for the office when we stuck a chimp in there.

diversion

Must agree with Toast. The point is not that everybody agrees that no slur was intended (even if that were true). The point is that the word "jap" in its conventional use is considered by many Japanese Americans (and some white folk too) to be offensive. That should be enough. Shame on you for using the word (your convenience, Toast's expense). Shame on you for having to be corrected by somebody who is offended. Shame on you for excusing your own clumsy writing.

Make sure you're traveling on a smoke-free ship. There's no escaping it on board. Best part of our cruise was the day we spent in New Orleans before the cruise. Basically I thought it was kind of lame and would have enjoyed spending more time in any one of the destinations instead of climbing back on the ship every night. Make sure you get on a boat that features shooting clay pigeons off the stern.

"Rockfest" is here again and like last year, our opinion is that its ultimate goal is to get you excited so you can BUY MORE CRAP!!! In response, we are again providing our alternative event: the Third Annual “Dwayner and Pope's Goodtime Boulderin' Rodeo”. This is how it works: a couple of years ago, me and Dwayner found an old mattress near the railroad tracks by South Tacoma Way in Tacoma. It's got some major pee-stains and a few cigarette burns but otherwise, it will hold a tumble off a boulder like few others. Here it is (the one on top): GOOD NEWS!!! We still have the mattress and even though it spent yet another winter outside and has a few more questionable stains [ you know who you are, Missy! ], we can assure you that using our pad (for a nominal fee) is preferable to toting your own and looking like this parade of clowns: On Saturday, look for the mattress strapped to the top of one of our vehicles or pull over to the side of the road when you see the two of us ferrying "the pad" to a new site. We will be setting it up below some of the choicest of bouldering routes in Icicle Canyon. To lessen impact, we are limiting the Rodeo to Gurlz only. There will be a glass pickle jar nearby and we will be charging 50 cents a plop or you can get a punchcard: 3 plops for $5. Sit-starts are encouraged and ladies may bring their boyfriends for an extra-dollar providing the boyz shout classic calls of encouragement....you know, stuff like, "send it!", “allez” and "dyno for the mono-doight!" Other competing events include: Rockfest: Rock shoe demo. Boulderin' Rodeo: They's just wants you to buy new shoes! This is what we're gonna do: Meet us at Bruce's Boulder and we're going to try on each other's shoes. A can of Lysol will be provided. Rockfest: Free climbing/bouldering/gear clinics. Boulderin' Rodeo: No need to set up clinics specifically for climbers in Icicle Canyon although perhaps no other group is more worthy. I hear there's a free clinic in Leavenworth or Wenatchee where you can have your curious rashes examined. Rockfest: Bridgecreek group campsite. BBQ, Party Boulderin' Rodeo: Weenie roast at 8-mile CG followed by a new drinking game we invented which is a combination of strip poker and Twister. Rockfest: Outdoor slideshow by “Tommy and Beth” (don’t forget to call ‘em by their first names, ‘cause after all, ain’t we just one big family?) Boulderin' Rodeo: We don't have a slideshow, but if this year's event resembles last year, the attractions on our bouldering pad should be far more entertaining. NEW THIS YEAR!!!! Hey fellows, bring your gal to have her photo taken sandwiched between alpine role models Pope and Dwayner, posed on the filthy mattress described above. The price is $10 (for a Polaroid suitable for framing). Gurlz, don’t forget to smile and say, “Cheese!”….or perhaps “Lunch meat!” is more appropriate. The money accumulated will go to a good cause: a special fund for purchasing cheese burgers, deodorant, and anti-fungal spray for sport-climbing “life stylists”. Maybe its’ you (and you don’t even know it). Let’s make this year’s Alternative Bouldering Rodeo even more successful than last year.

They're all a bunch of drug-crazed freaks, that's how they do it!

The typical slab-fall may be a long slide or tumble, but the other side of the coin is that the falling lead climber will generally fall at slower speeds, resulting in lower impact forces and, most importantly, opportunity for the competent belayer to react. The general rule of thumb on steep rock is that fall length will be more than double the run-out distance. Thus, the rock jock who is 25 feet out on his last nut will, at a minimum, fall 50+ feet. But on slabs, a skilled belayer will generally be able to take slack out of the system in that seemingly eternal time period between "Oh shit!" and when the rope actually comes tight. How much rope? That depends on the angle of the slab and the alertness of the belayer, of course. But an equally important variable is the choice of belay technique. Do you want to be fumbling with a Gri-Gri when your buddy's life depends on your ability to suck 50 feet of slack out of the system in in a matter of seconds? Obviously not. An example will illustrate my point. Once, while me and Dwayner descended a steep gully on Guye Peak, a third climber in our party (who had been medicating his trepidations with THC all morning during a winter ascent on the West Slope) decided to abandon his front points and attempt to heel his way down. He must have been 100 feet above us, but not so far away that I couldn't notice snow balling up in his crampooons (not to mention a nice 420 grin below his glazed eyes). At some point (from at least 80 feet above our belay), he began to fall. By the time he passed the belay he was really flying (although he continued to grin, oblivious to the danger and actually giggling when he suggested that we take up the slack). Lucky for him, I had him on a body belay and so I was able to suck up the slack pretty fast. Instead of a 200-ft fall, he ended up only 40 feet below our belay, just above a cliff band. Basically, he owes his life to the fact that we were hip belaying off of a stout tree. To this day, when belaying people dumb enough to venture onto bold slab climbs, I go with a hip belay. Not only can you rapidly take in rope, but the dynamic nature of this belay combined with slower falling rates keep the impact forces low. Basically, you can still trust those 35-year-old 1/4" button heads on lower angle climbs.

Dude, I'm reminded of a scene in my favorite movie.

With one enormous difference. Do you think you can figure it out?

I used to own some lycra that kind of resembled this (but not a jump-suit, just the pants w/o tail):

What are you, the Style Council? If they're cool enough for Wolfgang, they're cool by me.

Dude, remind me not to call you when I'm partnerless. Free soloing sounds safer.

The finger crack on the West Pillar is certainly 5.11+ in Spire Rock "full conditions" (broken glass on ledges, golden shower raining from summit).

The Hopkins/Wolfe U.W. rock guide contains a comprehensive and highly accurate guide to the various cracks and the challenge levels offered thereby. The grades were contributed by one of Washington's most accomplished crack climbers.

Franky say: Rhymin' Man, Tall and tan, Rhyme or reason, Play your hand -- Rhyme on this -- rhyme on that Oh, you naughty Democrat! They say when Doctor King got shot, Jesse hatched an evil plot, Dipped his hands in the Doctor's blood, 'N rubbed his shirt like playin' with mud Looked around for all the press 'N said: "Check me out, my name is Jess! I'll be known from towns 'n farms -- Doctor King died in my arms!" Rhymin' Man, Tall and tan, Rhyme or reason, Play your hand -- Rhyme on this -- rhyme on that Oh, you naughty Democrat! A few years later, legend says, Rhymin' man made a run for Prez Farrakhan made him a clown, Over there near Hymie-Town Said he was a diplomat -- Hobbin' an-a-knobbin' with Arafat Castro was simpatico, But the U.S. voters, they said: "No!" Rhymin' Man, Tall and tan, Rhyme or reason, Play your hand -- Rhyme on this -- rhyme on that Oh, you naughty Democrat! Okay, here we go again! Rhymin' Man says he's your friend Any fool can make a rhyme -- Cowboys do it all the time People say: "Now he's mature!" Cowboys rhyme that with horse manure Horse manure! That's for sure! You been cheatin' -- We kept score! Are you "this"? Or are you "that"? Oh, you naughty Democrat!

Ain't Dru responsible for about 25,000 of those? (Add another 5,000 for his various manisfestations.)

Classy response!

Let's see....elite athlete vehemently defends his poor behavior and maintains claim of innocence. OJ got into trouble thinking that way.