"How-to Introduce Your Girlfriend to Climbing?"

[JayB]

This topic came up in a discussion about the kinds of articles that people would like to see added to cc.com, and I thought that this is the kind of thing that the collective user base might have quite a bit of experience with, and be willing to share. If it generates some quality content, it might be something that we can turn into something permanent.

 

There are definitely women out there who have introduced new boyfriends to climbing, which I'm sure has its own unique challenges, so if you are one of those women - feel free to chime in and share what you've learned about how to make that process work.

 

Having said that, the demographic reality is such that it mostly goes the other way and that's where most people who approach this problem will be coming from.

 

I'll try to post a few thoughts based on my own experience later, but the short summary is that I went through my own trial and error process and found out that getting it right (turning each outing into a positive experience for each person) had a lot more to do with dealing with my own limitations than with my female partners'.

 

Most of that meant fine tuning objectives so that I didn't feel too burdened by the responsibility that comes along with being the more experienced partner on one hand, and feeling uninspired by the outing on the other. Recognizing that certain kinds of objectives just made me way too anxious for her safety to enjoy what we were doing was also a big part of figuring things out.

 

What emerged from the back-end of the filter was multi-pitch slab climbing on beautiful weather days. I find them plenty engaging on lead, she digs the fact that we can climb interesting routes in dramatic settings where the emphasis is on balance, body position, and movement and not pain tolerance or a level forearm conditioning that's rarely possible to maintain with the demands on her time.

 

That translates into fewer outings, but we both enjoy ourselves way more than we ever have before.

 

 

 

 

[ivan]

isn't that what sport climbing's for?

[DPS]

I think JayB is right on. The best climbing trip my wife and I took together was to Squamish/Whistler. We climbed Bananna Peel, stayed in a nice hotel in Whistler, ate in nice restaurants, and did day hikes around Whistler. Definitely not a big mileage climbing trip, but enjoyable for both of us.

[sobo]

Would also have to agree w/JayB and Dan. Took a GF to Slick Rock (near McCall, ID) for the Regular Route. Hella fun, all day outing on moderate slab with three big easy cracks to link to make the top. Interesting descent (got dark before we made it back to the truck) and back to the campspot for dinner and fire. Very nice time.

 

Also, took the GF that ultimately became my ex-wife to Lightning Dome a few times back in the late 90s. Moderate multi-pitch slab with just enough easy trad moves thrown in to carry more than a sack of draws, beautiful alpine setting in the conifers, cool clear river for skinny-dippin', and some really laid back car camping that made for some outrageous meals and campfires in the evenings. Those were the days...

 

So yeah, multi-pitch slab that's accessed by car camping. That's it. Oh, and bring yer lawn chairs...

[SeldonCrisis]

I took my girlfriend, who is now my wife, up great northern slab several years ago. She really enjoyed it, but we established some fundamentals at the easy street and interstate park areas of Exit 38 before doing GNS. I was worried about her nerves rappelling off GNS, but it was easy after introducing a multi-pitch rappel at the friendly velcro slabs of easy street.

 

Easy street is a great first place to go: easy climbing (can be done in tennis shoes), one 2-pitch route, close bolts for that secure feeling, and super fun. It won't be a high-mileage day, but you are making an investment.

[DPS]

The wife enjoyed GNS as well. A big thing for her is it weather must be nice; not to cold/windy/hot, and she dislikes climbers queued behind us. She feels 'rushed'. At Squamish we had planned on doing Diedre, but there were parties at every belay and more coming, so we moved over the the empty Bananna peel.

[B Deleted_Beck]

An afternoon at Rocky Butte... there's something about used condoms and empty forty bottles carpeting the forest floor that says "baby, I love you enough to bring you to my special place."

[sobo]

Now, that's an angle that I hadn't thought of...

[RaisedByPikas]

[Drederek]

Lots of good stuff here so far, granite slabs, sunny days, introducing technical aspects slowly, learning to trust the rope at the gym.

I'd like to share some mistakes if thats ok.

Continuing to climb at Peshastin when it started raining "Its only 5.6, honey"

At Fossil, "Don't worry about the holds breaking, you may excavate a better one!"

"Sorry, I thought I told you this climb has a 50m free hanging rappell"

and lets not forget "Baby you're more than just a belay bitch!"

.

[Alex]

wimps

 

the best way to introduce your honey to the pleasures of climbing is to get your -20C sleeping bags and take a nice cheap ice climbing trip to Banff. Hostels? Hotels? Rocky Mnt Ski Lodge? Akai? Too expensive, you sleep in the car. You can keep each other warm. And makes for nice late starts. Breakfast? That's what the white gas camp stove is for, as well as Safeway. You can regale her with how you are training for Denali so you have get get used to using the stove in -15C. Oh and all temperatures are in CELSIUS. Leave Fahrenheit in the States, like miles. The camp stove is also for warming up your oil pan. Espresso? What are you from Seattle?!? The nice long drive to Weeping Wall allows you to run the car heater and warm up. Start on WI2? Not a chance, start on Weeping Right with her in tow. Since you know your trip will be pretty short A Priori, might as well get some real climbing in, eh? You'll be soloing because she doesnt know how to belay yet, but the falls are clean. No need to worry about av danger on Weeping Wall, might as well STACK THE DECK IN YOUR FAVOR! Next day you send Murchison, because the drive is just as long from town and the hike warms you up too (finally warm....). The only pleasures allowed on this trip are on the final day, a single trip to Laggans Deli. The money that you save from this trip has already been spent on Marmot 8000m parkas to keep you warm at belays.

 

(This describes somewhat accurately the first 3 or 4 trips I took to Banff!)

 

[mattp]

If it is mountain climbing and not rock climbing that you seek, I'd suggest considering some easy peak-climbing objectives. An overnight on Mt. Ellinor's summit was a memorable trip for me some years back.

[B Deleted_Beck]

 

All I can figure is that they had the rope threaded through a couple of draws to an anchor way the hell out on the ceiling, with the hope of giving her a screaming pendulum fall as a gag... and didn't adequately factor in her extra weight

 

Edit - trying to clean it from the wrong end of the rope...

Edited February 21, 2012 by Ben B.

[Pete_H]

I'd like to know how introduce my girlfriend to climbing because my wife doesn't really like it.

[mattp]

Allright, Pete. Here's a video for you.

 

 

Meanwhile, sip coffee and watch the morning come on instead of hurrying to beat the crowds. Take your wife up something comfortable, and maybe after she has had a few good experiences take her up something comfortable with a couple of other friends on a trip where she can feel like she is the "experienced" climber.

 

Even a spouse or girlfriend who may never think she wants to become a "climber" can enjoy a good time.

[wfinley]

I introduced the now wife / then GF to alpine climbing on the Koven route on Mt Owen. Turned out she wasn't so comfy on ice so we belayed the entire Koven couloir. Then it turned out she wasn't so comfy on exposed snow so we belayed the snowy ridge. Then we belayed the easy 5th class to the summit. Then she dropped her rap device on the first rap. Then we slept on a ice shelf halfway down the Koven couloir. She loved it & we've been climbing ever since.

 

 

Edited February 23, 2012 by wfinley

[jmace]

The reality of that situation is that its better to find a hot chick and turn her into a climber than dreaming about finding a hot chick who is a climber.

 

There is a balance though, go to far into bar star land and the sex is great but your climbing suffers from lack of training...get a rock star and you end up with a porn addiction and tendonitis in your wrist.

 

BE careful

[layton]

is she's not your girlfriend yet, winter campin' is the way to go!

 

i've taken my wife up hundreds of routes from cragging to towers to long alpine bivy routes ... and she is still not a "climber"

 

IMO you don't want a climber girlfriend, they are generally a bit extra crazy. So are climber guys.

[DPS]

wimps

 

the best way to introduce your honey to the pleasures of climbing is to get your -20C sleeping bags and take a nice cheap ice climbing trip to Banff. Hostels? Hotels? Rocky Mnt Ski Lodge? Akai? Too expensive, you sleep in the car. You can keep each other warm. And makes for nice late starts. Breakfast? That's what the white gas camp stove is for, as well as Safeway. You can regale her with how you are training for Denali so you have get get used to using the stove in -15C. Oh and all temperatures are in CELSIUS. Leave Fahrenheit in the States, like miles. The camp stove is also for warming up your oil pan. Espresso? What are you from Seattle?!? The nice long drive to Weeping Wall allows you to run the car heater and warm up. Start on WI2? Not a chance, start on Weeping Right with her in tow. Since you know your trip will be pretty short A Priori, might as well get some real climbing in, eh? You'll be soloing because she doesnt know how to belay yet, but the falls are clean. No need to worry about av danger on Weeping Wall, might as well STACK THE DECK IN YOUR FAVOR! Next day you send Murchison, because the drive is just as long from town and the hike warms you up too (finally warm....). The only pleasures allowed on this trip are on the final day, a single trip to Laggans Deli. The money that you save from this trip has already been spent on Marmot 8000m parkas to keep you warm at belays.

 

(This describes somewhat accurately the first 3 or 4 trips I took to Banff!)

 

Come clean Alex. I introduced you to your wife who was already a kick ass climber.

[Seamstress]

Boys, step aside. Find a somewhat athletic honey and introduce her to climbing. Turn up the angle, but keep down the difficulty. The slabs can feel too insecure. Get a classic easy route with real holds she can wrap her fingers around. Smith has a bunch - like Spiderman, Round River, The Cave Route. By venturing beyond the Dihedrals, you are guarenteeing some space and alone time. Be sure to have all the niceties that may not carry often - an extra layer, some hand warmers. Bring some sweetness for your sweetie - a shared piece of Godiva chocolate at the belay, her favorite peanut butter cookies, etc. Take pictures so she can remember the day and celebrate the summit. Camping in a car - forget it. Be a man and pitch a tent. Lay out the thermorest and tuck her into a warm sleeping bag, rated 20 degrees less than yours. In the morning, get up first and get the coffee going. Make a great warm breakfast for her. In the evening, treat her to a nice dinner, perhaps at a lovely Italian restaurant that accepts people in "casual clothes", serve great food and still won't decimate your bank account. Think North Conway's Bellini's , Redmond's Sully's. For those of you with good jobs, take the leap into the land of bed and breakfast. These small, quaint establishments provide homey creature comforts guarenteed to generate warm feelings with the ladies. Make her enjoyment a priority and don't whine about "your sacrifice" of the day. Nothing will get you dumped faster than the idea that you are only climbing with her to get sex later.

 

My first big climbing trip was with three male friends. Two dropped out at the last minute. So one fellow and I shared the bunk room for four. We did a fun, multi-pitch easy route, Standard, at Cathedral Ledge in New Hampshire. We took a dip in the Saco River post climb to cool off and clean up before dinner. We had a great dinner at Bellini's and the rest is history. A year later, we were married under Cathedral Roof amd had the reception at the B&B.

[stevetimetravlr]

Be a man and pitch a tent.

 

Seamstress, This goes without saying..

[Coldfinger]

Boys, step aside. Find a somewhat athletic honey and introduce her to climbing. Turn up the angle, but keep down the difficulty. The slabs can feel too insecure. Get a classic easy route with real holds she can wrap her fingers around. Smith has a bunch - like Spiderman, Round River, The Cave Route. By venturing beyond the Dihedrals, you are guarenteeing some space and alone time. Be sure to have all the niceties that may not carry often - an extra layer, some hand warmers. Bring some sweetness for your sweetie - a shared piece of Godiva chocolate at the belay, her favorite peanut butter cookies, etc. Take pictures so she can remember the day and celebrate the summit. Camping in a car - forget it. Be a man and pitch a tent. Lay out the thermorest and tuck her into a warm sleeping bag, rated 20 degrees less than yours. In the morning, get up first and get the coffee going. Make a great warm breakfast for her. In the evening, treat her to a nice dinner, perhaps at a lovely Italian restaurant that accepts people in "casual clothes", serve great food and still won't decimate your bank account. Think North Conway's Bellini's , Redmond's Sully's. For those of you with good jobs, take the leap into the land of bed and breakfast. These small, quaint establishments provide homey creature comforts guarenteed to generate warm feelings with the ladies. Make her enjoyment a priority and don't whine about "your sacrifice" of the day.

 

Good advice if she's a high maintenance princess.

 

 

We live in the 21st century, enough of the turning your man into a servant boy baloney. The opposite of this--the man is the king of the castle--has long been discarded as chauvinism, you know have the house clean, the beer cold, the dinner hot, and the bed hotter, all served demurely with a smile.

 

How about BOTH of you share the work and the fun, after all the fun part of climbing is a strong partnership.

[rob]

God, can you even imagine having a girlfriend who was into all the same activities you were? I mean, if she had her own group of friends, I guess it could work, but what if you introduced her to it and she loved it but all of her climbing friends were your friends?

 

How would you ever get any air? Is it just me?

 

Better be cautious.

 

 

 

[SeldonCrisis]

Be a man and pitch a tent.

 

Seamstress, This goes without saying..

 

Awesome.

[Water]

God, can you even imagine having a girlfriend who was into all the same activities you were? I mean, if she had her own group of friends, I guess it could work, but what if you introduced her to it and she loved it but all of her climbing friends were your friends?

 

How would you ever get any air? Is it just me?

 

Better be cautious.

 

Dunno, find I can spend unlimited time one-on-one with my wife and not go nuts, not feel like i need to 'get away' really--got confirmation of this pretty early on in our relationship. We just have fun overall no matter whats going on when we're together, even if there are points of stress or momentary conflict. No doubt that played a big role having experienced prior relationships where I needed 'space'. She doesn't 'climb' per se-she's acrophobic-but manages to do the walk-up volcanoes, hikes and backpacks aplenty, snow camps occasionally, top rope at the gym. Gives me plenty of latitude and full understanding to go out with the guys for more serious climbing or snow-adventure.

 

best way to introduce her to anything new outdoors wise/risk wise is with lots of patience, encouragement, and low pressure.

pressure, frustration, lack of positive feedback are quick ways to shut things down--imo, girl or guy.