rocky_joe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 no pics...left the camera as I feared documenting my climb would destroy the integrity of the ascent as I'm pretty sure I read some where digital cameras are aid. Oh well, I've now got a ton of memories that I can spray about to the younguns for decades to come. High Horse is a unclimbed formation that is legend on climbing forums around the interwebs; however as I had had occasional glimpses of it in the past I knew when I got the chance I'd go grab the FA. Feeling remarkably cocky and smarter than anyone else, I declined to search for a partner. Instead I decided that I would leave behind all the "necessary" climbing goods and go for the free solo. Going through my gear closet, which contains only "pre-sport climbing style" gear, I decided that pure, ethical climbers need nothing but their bodies and left it all. I decided the same about my car and began my journey on foot to ascend what may be the purest FA ever put up anywhere. I got to the TH after a two day trek through the suburban wilderness and gave it the big F-U. I chose to navigate to the (now-hidden) peak using only the stars and animal tracks. (high horse is thought to be a sacred and oft travelled place for animals of all creeds). After trudging through alligator infested waters, battling a polar bear (and winning of course), making friends with Sasquatch and surviving a plague of grasshoppers, I arrived at the base of the climb. Ethically Sound is probably, if not certainly the most inspiring, aesthetic, perfect, proud, haunting, beautiful line I've ever beheld. A perfect ramp of solid, smooth granite leads to a near vertical almost stair life formation (I named this pitch the Stairs of Cirith Ungol.) From there the climber gets to a parallel slab hand crack, the crux. After the crux the line turns on the climber, spraying shit everywhere. The mountain takes on montrous characteristics, throwing both rocks, fear and personal insults at you for the duration. The final pitches are not hard, but are spectacular and offer pro the whole way (for you weaker, less ethically inclined types). I stayed on the summit for what seemed like hours, it was now my turn to spray from the mountain top. And spray I did. Flinging poo, piss and insults every which way, making sure that any climber after me would know that my line was the best and most pure; since I'd climbed it it was no longer an achievement for anyone else. That said I was determined to take a different route down the mountain so I could truly feel like I was on the best of adventures. I managed my way down without disturbing a single pebble from its place, nor scraping away any moss. I feel that to move a stone is to destroy the mountain. High Horse must remain a perfectly intact mountain if the legends of the interweb are to be kept. I would encourage any future climbers of high horse to follow my ethics and take a different line than I did. I will not provide a topo as beta is an invention of gym rat sporto bitches. Once down off the mountain I relocated my tracks and followed them for 2 days before reaching home. I reached for the first time the summit of the great active volcano Mt. High Horse. I made many interesting geological and scientific discoveries and had many narrow escapes throughout the whole time. Gear Notes: rock and soul. Approach Notes: a journey for only the most ethical and pure climbers Quote
ivan Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 tr's w/o pix don't count as tr's and should be taken out back for the vintage disney ole'yeller treatment Quote
rocky_joe Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 i suppose i should add some 17 second youtube clip of me jumaring and singing unintelligibly...then it'd be a real TR. Quote
ivan Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 you were also awfully thin on the coarse vernacular of the peasants, put perhaps that was more to the point... Quote
Raindawg Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Reads like a whole lot of work for not a whole lot of clever. "Yo! Allegorically and metaphorically unsound!" Quote
ivan Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 hey, i thought the golden rule was no pissing on tr's - or is is spraying piss all over itself said rule? Quote
billcoe Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 You must have done a repeat variation of "High Horse". See, when some of these guys git up there, there is no way to get down off of it........there ain't no getting Do(w)n off high horse once he's up there anyway although some others have found the descent.... Not superior kitten though. Quote
RuMR Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 dude...you are cruizin' for a care bear bruisin'... Quote
rbw1966 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Reads like a whole lot of work for not a whole lot of clever. "Yo! Allegorically and metaphorically unsound!" Dont hate me because I am beautiful. Quote
Off_White Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 hey, i thought the golden rule was no pissing on tr's - or is is spraying piss all over itself said rule? There might be a special exception for this one TR... Quote
AlpineK Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 TRs in Spray follow different formatting rules Quote
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