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111

Climbing before Marriage

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.fortunately for me, my bod's falling apart so no biggie...

 

i guess one of the chunks that fell off was the 12 pound one?

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Well, thanks for the advice (taken with multiple grains of salt of course). She is a helluva lady and she completely supports my gear habit (hell she said ok to turning the garage into a boulder cave. This topic really hasn't been an issue at all yet in 6 years but I just wanted to have this thread to fall back on in case it ever does become an issue.

 

And, Yes she is one of those who will just come along to belay (I think she just secretly likes hearing me wimper in fear 20 ft above marginal gear, but that is for a whole new thread).

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My wife and I have a system worked out. If I feel that she's giving me too much grief about the amount I'm climbing, she comes home to find one of her cats skewered with an ice screw, sizzling on the rotisserie. After the no contact order expires, we talk about it.

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Well 111, hope this throws some light, or something, on the subject of marriage!

I guess it comes down to values, ideals, respect, and love for one another. And of course...............communication is key. Enjoy!

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Experts on successful relationship, such as those at MSNBC, recommend encouraging her to develop her own interest, such as cooking, cleaning, and tantric technique, and home brewing. Similarly, you might think about developing interests of your own that allow you to be home. After the honey moon period is over, which can be as little as several days, she doesn't want to be with you so much as she just wants to know what you're not doing. So go ahead and rebuild that '68 Impala, breed those exotic constrictors, and learn to play those drums. Who knows? You might find that time spent pursuing your at-home interests might translate to more time you're encouraged to spend away.
:lmao:

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please don't encourage him...he might leave if we ignore him...

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I find it strange that you are asking this question after getting married and after having been with the person for 6 years. If it hasn't been a problem yet how does marriage change that? If it does change things then why did you get married?

 

The psychology of marriage is bizarre. I've heard of couples breaking up over marriage, divorcing then getting back together and living happily ever after unwed. I also know people that are much happier married than they were prior. :crazy:

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main piece of advice: balance

 

You have find out what that balance is with the wife. If you do too much climbing, she might get too pissed off. If you don't climb enough, then you will probably turn into one big a-hole.

 

I don't go out barhopping or anything like that, becuase she understands my "time with the guys" is in da mountains. So I have had to change some of my "other extracurricular" activities so I could just focus on more climbing.

 

I also have two children, and I constantly thank her for looking after them when I go out. It shows my appreciation.

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...Marriage is a contract...

WRONG!

It's not a contract, it's an insurance policy... for the woman!

When the policy matures, she's guaranteed half your shit, fer sure.

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...Marriage is a contract...

WRONG!

It's not a contract, it's an insurance policy... for the woman!

When the policy matures, she's guaranteed half your shit, fer sure.

:lmao: Isn't that why God gave us sugar mommas? So, we get half of there shit...

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...Marriage is a contract...

WRONG!

It's not a contract, it's an insurance policy... for the woman!

When the policy matures, she's guaranteed half your shit, fer sure.

 

FUCK! that means i really screwed the whole thing up worse than I thought.

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It is about balance and knowing what each other want and need. I have no problems doing what I want as long as I make sure she is getting her needs met and has the free time to do what she wants. The things I want to do is climbing, biking and the occasional late night drinking, keeps me pretty happy. For her it is having family activities planned, going out for a date, going out for yoga and the occasional run. As long as we are able to do both we stay pretty happy.

 

BTW- All the gear in the world is not going to get you out using it.

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Yep I agree In the end it is all about figuring how to balance your "wants" and "needs" (as said earlier, climbing being a want, not a need) against the "wants" and "needs" of another person. And, presumably, you develop that skill as you advance through the levels and promotions into full adulthood. (Note I said develop, not 'perfect'.) Like a video game, the better you get at it, the further level & responsibility you can reach. Anyway here's how I see it:

 

1. Growing up. It's all prety much about you. But it's setting you up to tackle:

 

2. Friendship/Dating. That's when you learn to balance your needs/wants and someone else's at a basic/beginner level. Stakes: low. But it's setting you up to tackle:

 

3. Marriage. This is when you learn and practice this at the advanced/amateur level. Stakes: moderate to high. Which, in the big picture, is setting you up to tackle:

 

4. Parenthood. The big leagues, baby. Pro level. Better bring your "A" game. Stakes: huge.

 

The degree and intensity with which you tackle climbing will vary depending on which of the 4 levels you're at. That's true for anything - stamp collecting, soccer, reading mystery novels - but climbing is by far one of the more time-intensive individualist pursuits (hell it takes over a day just to get INTO the pickets) - so it's going to generally be affected more. As it should be.

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The Four Fold Path to Enlightenment:

 

Fold 1 - SEEKING: Donkey Kong and masturbation aren't cutting it. There's got to be more.

 

Fold 2 - DISCOVERY: Sensing your pilgrimage, your sensei in the form of your supervisor at work loans you his copy of "The Five Minute Manager". You experience a profound AHAH! moment on page 4. No need to read any further...he didn't.

 

Fold 3 - JOURNEY: You purchase your own copy of "The Five Minute Manager", and "The Seven Habits of Successful People", and "The Soul of the Machine", and 50 other guides to satori. You display them heavily dog eared and postit-ed...up to page 4, in your cube, between your Coldplay CDs and "Tuesdays with Morrie"

 

Fold 4 - ENLIGHTENMENT: You bolt up at 3:00 a.m: why not condense the wisdom of the universe down to FOUR things, a number you can remember, instead of SEVEN, where you need to recite that stupid mnemonic about Jesus getting a bonus. You change your name from 'Randy' to 'Rand', post your amazing discovery on the interwebs under the avatar "24SevenQuality" to all who have the wisdom to listen, and start climbing hard with a small child duct taped to each calf.

 

 

Edited by tvashtarkatena

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