AIRLINES RAGE!

[Winter]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!

 

I fucking hate sitting on the god damn phone listening to shitty fucking elevator music and commercials waiting for some dumb ass customer service shithead to fix all the fuck ups they caused in my flight plans. ARRGGGHHH!!!! DELTA SUCKS ASSS!!! DON'T FLY DELTA. EVER.

 

Thank you.

[cj001f]

DELTA SUCKS ASSS!!! DON'T FLY DELTA. EVER

Isn't that rule #32? Right behind #2 never fly Northworst, and #1 - NEVER, EVER FLY A US AIRLINE IN Y!

 

Swissair at 18:45

[Johnny_Tuff]

Sure, but how do you feel about Delta Airlines and their customer service department?

[larrythellama]

become your own travel agent.

[foraker]

After this week, I can say another rule is 'Never fly Lufthansa'.

They cancelled my wife's flight out of Ukraine to Frankfurt and never said a word. The only way I found out was I happened to go online to check her times and flight numbers and found something odd and called my agent about it. They (Lufthansa) also rebooked her on another flight (again without telling anyone) out of Kiev, over 400 km away. I find this out about 10pm her time and she was supposed to be on a 6am flight. Since they have no more flights that week, they shove her on a shuttle in the middle of the night to get her to Kiev for her flight out. This being Ukraine, her mom's worried sick that she just let her daughter go off with some white slavers. They are an hour late leaving Kiev meaning my wife misses her flight out of Frankfurt. Did I mention the two aborted landings, within a few meters of touching down, without any explanation? I will go out of my way never to fly them again.

I love talking to customer service people here about dealing with their offices overseas. They just don't seem to understand the phrase 'This is Ukraine/Russia/Azerbaijan/.... don't you?' They seem to think the entire world has reliable cell phone coverage, home computers, and responsive customer service. And they wonder why we get massively pissy with them on the phone.

[cj001f]

After this week, I can say another rule is 'Never fly Lufthansa'.

As with many other things, Asia's the future.

 

Thai Air

Singapore Airlines

QANTAS

China Airlines

[G-spotter]

fly Beaver

[Winter]

sometimes i wish i could travel through phone lines and crawl out the other side straight into their ear holes and bore out their brains.

[olyclimber]

that would be just like tron.

[Mos_Chillin]

sometimes i wish i could travel through phone lines and crawl out the other side straight into their ear holes and bore out their brains.

 

Funny, that's what cc.com does to me, but it's the EYES!

[Off_White]

sometimes i wish i could travel through phone lines and crawl out the other side straight into their ear holes and bore out their brains.

 

If you could do that, you wouldn't need to fly.

[DirtyHarry]

wouldn't need to fry?

[archenemy]

Tron rocks.

[Off_White]

Tron, huh. You're a little older than I thought.

[Squid]

Whew. Now I don't feel so dirty about what happened.

[Mos_Chillin]

"Those aren't pillows!" didn't deter you in the slightest, did it?

[JayB]

What is happening here? The champions of the little guy going after the poor schleps in South Dakota and Bombay who have to have one of the shittiest customer service jobs in the world (which is really saying something)? Someone's going to have to report you two to The International so that a spirit of fraternite' and brotherhood will permeate your dealings with The Workers going forward.

 

Usually the only time a customer service situation pisses me off is when I see someone getting irate over a triviality or an inflated sense of their own significance and abusing the frontline customer-service rep/flackcatcher who's sorry lot in life has put them behind the desk with a nametag, in order to bully their way into getting what they want. I'm pretty sure the revenge fantasy goes both ways.

 

That'd be a sweet reality show BTW - customer service death matches. Put the angry customer and the rep in the cage and let the fists fly. I'd place my bets on the reps, as they'll most likely be unleashing years of suppressed rage....

[still_climbin]

SSShhhhh!...All of you. I have to fly on those bastards next week!

[John Frieh]

I'd like to send a personal to the baked baggage handler that managed to screw up a direct flight from PDX to Vegas and send all my climbing gear to San Diego.

 

1 day... lost

[foraker]

I'll add to John's by adding one for my father. On his return to Anchorage from SoCal via Seattle he was experiencing one of the 9 pits of TSA hell (though he does tend to bring it on himself a fair bit) when one of the Alaska Air reps asked him if the barrel of his rifle should be sticking 4 inches out of the hard plastic case that it was in. What kind of drug crazed gorillas do they have working baggage-handling anyway? I did a bit of that at Prudhoe and never flung people's shite from the truck to the plane....

[Dechristo]

My brother is an airline pilot based out of Atlanta. The following is of an encounter he had with airport security:

 

After dutifully submitting to the pocket-emptying shoeless trek through the TSA line, he retreived his items only to discover his Zippo lighter had been confiscated. He approached the security personnell in his airline captain uniform and asked what had become of the years-old constant companion to his pocket.

 

TSA: "We can't allow lighters on the flight."

 

Bro: "You realize I'm the one flying the plane?"

 

TSA" "Sir, a lighter is a dangerous item and we can't allow you to take it on the plane."

 

Bro: "Well, then you'd better take my hands as they're potentially dangerous items, too; they could be used to steer the jet into the ground."

 

TSA: "Well, uh, someone might force their way into the cockpit, take the lighter from you, and then be armed with it."

 

Bro: "Oh, I see. I guess you're gonna go into the cockpit, then, and take the flare gun and Crash Axe that are in there?"

 

TSA: "Sir, I'm just doing my job."

 

He never did get his Zippo back.

[archenemy]

Quantas complaints procedure

 

 

Remember: it takes a college degree to fly a plane , but only a high

school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly

routinely in their jobs.

 

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe

sheet, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The

mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and

then

pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be

said

that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

 

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas

 

Pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S)

by maintenance engineers.

 

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has NEVER had an

accident.

 

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute

descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're for.

 

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget

pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

[tyler45]

Singapore airlines is amazing....the amount of free food and alcohol you get on a flight with them makes up for all the foodless flights in the U.S. Just make sure you don't bring anything sketchy into the country b/c I got scared just walking through security after seeing about a 1000 signs reminding you that bringing drugs into the country is punishable by death!

p.s. any partner of U.S. air sucks.