EWolfe Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 (edited) better late with the , than...oh, never mind. Edited February 22, 2006 by MisterE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mos_Chillin Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 smackdown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squid Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Oly...you're bald. this changes everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 Who the hell is this Seagull dude, and why does he so not like his current facial configuration? Well, well well...look who just walked in- a washed up, aging action movie star who...oh forget it. Look here pal, this is how it's gonna be: I run the show here now. Your roundhouse kick cannot get past my high block. I will kick your ass from here to sunday. You want justice? I'll give you justice, Walker. You and your slow motion action sequences are no match for me. There's a new sheriff in town- the name's Nico. You are not Zen enough to beat me. You've spent too much time jacking off to tapes of those Christy Brinkley Bowflex commercials you did with her or whatever shit you were hawking to try to save your tanked career. You tried to get in her pants, but guess who had her first? That's right---MOI. She loved the feel of my silky pony tail on her supple little...oh never mind... Now get lost, Hillbilly. Anybody else need some justice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Shebawl, you belong in the Really Fat Housecats thread. Now, waddle your fat ass over there and you might get a saucer of warm man-milk to lap up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 Shebawl, you belong in the Really Fat Housecats thread. Now, waddle your fat ass over there and you might get a saucer of warm man-milk to lap up. Oh, you're down. So sorry...NOT. Who's Next?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 You slap-fight like Hello Kitty on smack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mos_Chillin Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 I just got it... Steven Sea-Gal... Let's see your cheer routine, GirlyBoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lI1|1! Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 imagine what he could do with power lycra! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck_Norris Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 How many cans of Lightning Bolt did you have to drink to muster the sack to post again? BTW, everyone knows that aikido is weak compared to my Tang Soo Do, Taekwondo, Shinto-Ryu Karate, Jui-Jitsu, and especially my Chun Kuk Do. You better shut your trap before you go "missing in action" chump. And yea...I don't even need to look at what I'm shooting at, because I'm Chuck Norris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 L A M E Whatever, Rambo. Your futile punches and kicks will die in a heap after my clothesline maneuver leaves you wincing in pain on the floor. I'm the one with the girl. You don't who you're dealing with, do you? I'm Hard to Kill! This is the only kind of "action" you don't "miss": You fuck with my family...and it'll be An Eye for an Eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck_Norris Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Your style is weak. What is it with the little ponytail you've been sporting? Perhaps you missed my performance in Dodgeball, where I truly demonstrated who is the Grand Master. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck_Norris Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 ...I bet you don't even have any chest hair. Don't worry, I'm sure you can borrow a chest wig from Elton John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 Interesting avatar picture there. Were you auditioning for the part of the "Cowboy" in the Village People? Go mow your back, ape man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Frieh Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 StevenSeagal = RuMR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck_Norris Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 You all think you have what it takes to be a Seagal? Steven won't talk about his dance skills, pizzazz, ability to please the crowd, as well as his physical appearance. http://www.seahawks.com/SGOverView.aspx?SecID=63&ID=141 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 Charles, I suggest you get rid of the mullet and try some pomade. It really does help with the ladies. Well, in your case, young boys like it too, but you'd be the expert on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck_Norris Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 How much do you wiegh these days Seagull? I hear you're a fatty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dechristo Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 from StevenSeagal's bio: Member # 10285 Name Steven Title stranger Total Posts 19 Homepage Occupation Framed Cop/Dojo In your case, the spelling is "Do Joe". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayB Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Anyone ever read that David Rakoff essay where he goes to a spa/spiritual retreat, and one of the key attractions is a seminar lead by Steven Segall? Very funny stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck_Norris Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 The most devastating piece, in this respect, is "Including One Called Hell," in which an even crankier-than-usual Rakoff attends a seminar called "Cultivating Compassion and Clarity" led by none other than martial artist/ Tibetan monk Steven Seagal. Here is Rakoff, after being advised to address Seagal as Rinpoche (term of respect; literally, "precious jewel"): "Precious Jewel eventually does arrive some forty-five minutes late. What turns out to be Seagal Standard Time. He is in a large phase, with a bit of late-model Brando girth about him. ... His narrow eyes, sleek ponytail, and variation on traditional Tibetan attire ... lend him the air of a Mongol potentate." That is just the beginning, and it represents the pinnacle of the author's opinion of the movie star. yes, fatty indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenSeagal Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 You WILL address me as Rinpoche, or I will show you some compassion with my devastating throat chop. Rakoff was my most difficult student; alas he was a child molester and beyond help. We mock what we don't understand. I showed him the door. By the way, Chuckie, Christie says she never did find your dick. I loaned her an electron microscope. Let me know how it goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chuck_Norris Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 a recent photo of seagal: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaseabbott Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 What's worse... the fact that I know the animated gif of Van Damme dancing is from the opening scenes of "Breakin"... .... or the fact that I own TWO copies of the move?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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