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New dress code for the chickas !


RuMR

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So I was at a fine establishment in Idaho recently. I was sitting on a tractor seat. That's what the barstools there are topped with. This old homer looks over at me and gestures with his beer our the window.

 

"Do you see that stone wall out there? I built that. I carried the rocks by hand from miles around. It took me seven years."

 

The was some serious shit wall that stretched off as far as the eye could see. I nodded, impressed.

 

"But do you think they call me Gus The Wall Builder? Noooo!"

 

A few minutes later he looked up from his brew, his rheumy eyes staring at me.

 

"You see that bridge over there?"

 

He pointed with his white wiskered chin out the window. There was a massive bridge over a little creek. Fir trees the size of the Washington fucking Monument spanned this little trickle.

 

"I built that bridge. I cut those trees with me god blasted hatchet I did. Took me a year--for each tree."

 

"But do they call me Gus The Bridge Builder? Noooo!"

 

A few minutes later the old guy apparently revives. He gestures out the window with a long dead Gunsmoke brand cigarette.

 

"You see that house across the road?"

 

I nodded. The thing was a masterwork of timbers and stone. A literal goddamn castle.

 

"I built that house. One piece at a time with nothing but a crosscut saw and a sledgehammer. It took me nineteen years."

 

"But do they call me Gus The Housebuilder? NOOOOO!!!!!"

 

Gus looked at me, furious, despondant, bewildered.

 

"But you fuck one goat..."

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