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A question for the ladies


layton

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I have come across at least a couple of hundred climbing couples in practice, and have yet to ever witness a pair in which the woman obviously outclasses her boyfriend...

 

I saw one of these couples this weekend. Friends of Mr. Crackbolter. The female was a wicked good boulderer.

 

I agree it's rare, but they are out there. wave.gif ladies.

 

I think I remember TangledUpInBlue talking about teaching her BF how to ice climb. thumbs_up.gif

 

edit: I just remembered, I also know two married couples in which the wife is the better climber.

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Michael:

 

First a disclaimer: I’m young, single and most importantly male. Because of this I am no where as qualified as a female to answer your questions. However, I will offer the small sampling of knowledge I have obtained from the numerous failures at attempts for intimacy. Hopefully some of this helps…

 

First off I would caution against going anywhere women on this site suggest/approve as “acceptable for approaching.” Instead I would recommend places you are more likely to meet women you are interested in meeting.

 

What am I trying to say? Take bars for example; a venue commonly employed for meeting potential partners. Though fished by many what are the odds of you actually meeting a girl that shares common interests, goals, etc in a random bar? Unless it’s a dedicated climber watering hole chances are slim to none. If anything you are more likely to meet a girl that likes going out often which, unless you like doing that (I’ll use me for an example… my weekends are almost always used for escaping the crowds, not seeking them out) it probably won’t work out in the end. Even though I’m a spring chicken in terms of the dating scene, I have only had one girl I meet at a bar turn into a dating situation (and it still didn’t work as I climbed too much… whatever that means…).

 

So back to my point: if you like intellectual type girls; hit book stores and libraries (Powell’s on Burnside comes to mind). If you like athletic type (not necessarily climbers), get involved with some sports groups. Case in point: there are a number of clubs that run the wildwood trail in town 2-3 times a week (did I mention I love that trail?). If you insist on dating a climber, climbing areas, slide shows, gear shops, etc etc would be places to frequent. Chances are if you predetermine some qualities you prefer in a mate and use these to guide your selection in fishing holes, it will be that much easier to strike up conversation. Which brings me to my next point: fear of rejection.

 

Boys are taught to be masculine. One of the supposed masculine qualities is successfulness which generally results in a fear of failure as we think failing makes us “less of a man.” I will be the first to admit I have ducked out of asking out numerous girls because I was afraid she’d laugh in my face even though my brain was screaming at me to do so. The thing I always tell myself is what is the worst thing that can happen? Though one might argue that she could start laughing or stand up on here chair and announce to everyone that you had the audacity to ask her out, but chances are she will say no (at worse). And seriously: how bad is that? In the grand scheme of things, you will be lucky to remember the time some girl said no to you 20 years from now… let alone the first and last name(s) of every partner you’ve had (can you name them all???). I would be a hypocrite if I said I ask out any girl I want too; generally I can only ask a girl out if it’s a one on one situation (I’m so chicken I won’t even do it in front of my friends). As a result I keep this in mind for selecting places to meet people. One on one situation in bars are slim to none; hence another reason to weed them out (for me at least). Climbing areas is another slim to none place for one on one situation. And I’m there to climb, not socialize! Keep you limitations in mind when selecting a place.

 

Finally remember that if something’s meant to be it will happen. You can’t force a relationship between two people. If it’s meant to happen it will. It’s like trying to plan small talk; you shouldn’t have too… if you are generally interested in someone it will come naturally. If you are sitting there racking your brain for material, maybe you shouldn’t be. And we all have dry spells. Lord knows my dating life resembles something between a sine curve and an exponential decay function.

 

Finally my dads advice: when it rains it pours (you will always meet 3 cool girls simultaneously when the week before you where working the ex-girlfriend circuit) and don’t shit where you eat (don’t date people you work with).

 

And are we going to climb NNB or not Michael? I’ve got my other partner on board… what do you say?

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true dat.

Nolse, it was nothing new, but good advice. thanx. i have three weeks until 15 weeks of summer so fuck that noise I'm going climbign (sorry girls). As for NNB, email me in private and I'll join after I hear what you found on route last year. If not, I'll be waving to you from n.face Baring.

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my opinion, as a mid-20s chica is basically along the lines of what minx said;

 

a) see hot chica, strike up a conversation, get to know a little about her and if she doesn't blow you off right away she is probably interested in getting to know you more

 

b)no bad pick up lines, thats an automatic turn off, but if you are climbing and you see her at the gym, ask if she wants to climb with you or do some similar activity

 

c) don't bring up your ex girlfriends in the first 2 dates, thats just plan wrong, we really don't want to hear about the nice rack your ex had- even if you are talking about her climbing gear

 

d) dogs are major bonus points, for me anyways

 

 

this applies at the rock, at the store, in class, at the bar, etc etc etc.

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Michael: I'll drop you a pm soon. You gonna free Baring? I have a feeling you and I have a similar tick list for the summer. Holla!

 

Distel: Don't speak too soon... once she figures out that minus the neck beard you would get carded at a PG-13 movie she might hop along the trail. hahaha.gifboxing_smiley.gifwink.gif

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Paco's guide for meeting and dating chicks:

 

Remember these two things when you see a female that you are interested in:

 

1) Who the fuck am I? - i.e. Why would this girl want to date you? The answer is always the same; she's not interested because you are just another bland face in the crowd.

 

2) It doesn't fucking matter. - Chicks will date even the lamest guys. Remeber the time you saw that smoking hot chick with that totally ugly tool. Yeah, what the hell was she doing with him? Problem is though you'll never get to be that tool.

 

Give up hope, get fueled by your angst; GO CLIMBING! The more angst and self loathing, the bigger, harder, and more audacious the climb.

 

Next up, a single push solo of Infinite Spur...

 

Oh, I remembered a third item:

 

3) You'll always be wrong - Show up at the first date with some flowers because everyone knows chicks dig flowers. Chicks response "Who the fuck is this desperate asshole showing up with flowers just so he can get in my pants" Date goes poorly. Next time on another date you decide not to bring flowers. What happens? "Who the fuck is this inconsiderate cheap bastard showing up without flowers" Date goes poorly.

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