MARRIAGE

[skykilo]

[minx]

why does it have to be one way or another? i know the type of person and the type of relationship that works for me. robbob and rumr have views and standards that work in their relationships and that's great for them. their marriages are working.

 

i've been married briefly. it failed miserably and it had nothing to do with me going on overnighters w/members of the opposite sex. i have been involved with someone with out the formality of marriage for much longer than i ever managed to stay married. problems in that relationship never had to do with o/n outings with the opposite sex.

 

i think it's about communication no matter what the potential issue. either the two of you come to an understanding that you can both live with or you don't and you move on.

 

forever is a beautiful concept but not always feasible. we make mistakes and sometimes we grow and change in opposite directions. 2 people close to me were divorced after 20yrs of marriage. they are now friends and share many common bonds. when asked about they laugh and say "we were young and in-love but we didn't raise each other right" sort of funny thing to say but they like to point out that neither of them was the same person at 40 as they were at 20.

 

there are no absolutes when it comes to what makes a relationship work.

[dryad]

I was with a dude for a long time and we eventually split because we relied too much of each other for our entertainment and pissed each other off. After we split, I got into climbing, and he got into long-distance cycling. Now we're best friends because we have things to talk about and be excited about. Makes me wonder if we'd still be together if we had picked up our time-consuming hobbies earlier.

 

Moral of the story: CLIMBING IS GOOD.

[Terminal_Gravity]

sorry. Point being, I like to be outside. I want to be involved with some one wholikes to be outside too. That doesn't mean we always have to be outside together. each should have their own frinds and individual activities. BECAUSE that is what makes a realtionship whole.

 

1+1 =2

 

If 1+1 only = 2; then by marriage you haven't gained anything. The whole sure as hell better be greater than the sum of the parts. If it is no more than equal than I expect the marraige is based more on weakness, insecurity & need than love, growth, fullfillment & common bonds. In that case overnight outings probably would be out of the question. A good relationship should not have to be defined by things like, leagal papers, terms, restrictions or demand. It should be muatually and collectively additive and expanding. Love is not restrictive, It makes you want your partner to be happy and fill their soul, even if it makes you face your own insecurities.

[lummox]

and kill this stupid thread

[sk]

Terminal_Gravity said:

sorry. Point being, I like to be outside. I want to be involved with some one wholikes to be outside too. That doesn't mean we always have to be outside together. each should have their own frinds and individual activities. BECAUSE that is what makes a realtionship whole.

 

1+1 =2

 

If 1+1 only = 2; then by marriage you haven't gained anything. The whole sure as hell better be greater than the sum of the parts. If it is no more than equal than I expect the marraige is based more on weakness, insecurity & need than love, growth, fullfillment & common bonds. In that case overnight outings probably would be out of the question. A good relationship should not have to be defined by things like, leagal papers, terms, restrictions or demand. It should be muatually and collectively additive and expanding. Love is not restrictive, It makes you want your partner to be happy and fill their soul, even if it makes you face your own insecurities.

 

I am a firm believer in individualism. you can bring more into a relationship. but you can not live FOR another person. I say that 1+1=2 because 1+1 can not equal 1. I think relationships that work do so because the two people involved want them to. I agree with every thing else you said

[ChrisT]

lummox said:

and kill this stupid thread

[erik]

Anna said:

Erik needs some porn vids. Maybe Trask can help him out!

 

I have a few on backorder:

 

Put it Where it Doesn't Belong

My Pipe Needs Cleaning

Cum Clean

Cum on Ilene

Cum Buns III

Cumming in Socks

Girls Who Crave Cock

Men in Black II-The KY Connection

Pink Pussy Lips

 

AND of course,

Happy Scrappy Hero Pup

 

that stuff is scary to me!!!

 

 

[ChrisT]

erik said:

Anna said:

Erik needs some porn vids. Maybe Trask can help him out!

 

I have a few on backorder:

 

Put it Where it Doesn't Belong

My Pipe Needs Cleaning

Cum Clean

Cum on Ilene

Cum Buns III

Cumming in Socks

Girls Who Crave Cock

Men in Black II-The KY Connection

Pink Pussy Lips

 

AND of course,

Happy Scrappy Hero Pup

 

that stuff is scary to me!!!

 

Just start with "sex in the city" honey

[RobBob]

"Trust". Yes, it is important in any marriage. But it is not a firewall that will sheild either of you from human nature. To deny that we are all programmed with certain "desires" is not realistic. Sure, a strong relationship/love will override extramarital desires 99.99% of the time, but why expose yourselves to such temptation? (Especially where alcohol is involved.) My wife and I are both on the same page with this one. The only female friends I keep are those who are also good friends of my wife's. My wife does not sleep in a tent with another man, nor do I with another woman.

 

Play by any rules you want, but don't preach at me.

 

Fairweather put it better than I did, T_G. I realize that everybody's got their own, valid views on this subject. And I seriously doubt whether any of us will be influenced by others on it!

 

I used to say I skipped my first marriage, 'cause I waited until 30 to get married. Just didn't meet "the right one" until then, and enjoyed years of being a bit of a swordsman. Reasons I would not want to go back to being single:

 

-I'd miss 'er!!

-dry spells suck , no matter how good the other times are

-I enjoy women, period, and would eventually want to spend most of my time with somebody I liked. I've never met anyone that I've liked as much as her

-sure, we've both changed in 15 years, but we share a core interest in several basic things

 

That being said, everything could turn to shit tomorrow, as people here have noted happens a lot. Therefore it is worth a little bit of constant investment in doing the things that you know will keep your spouse satisfied/comfortable with you and what you do.

[ChrisT]

swordsman?!?!?!? never heard that one before

[rbw1966]

Sounds a little suspect to me. Swords are used against other swords. Especially in light of that pic he posted in another thread.

[RobBob]

swordsman

coxwain

cutter (TX cattlemen's lingo)

etc.

[Off_White]

[RobBob]

Being called a gay blade for a week would be a fair price for a night with Lauren Hutton (hmmm...how old is she now though?)

[RobBob]

All right, who's the smart-ass?!

 

Put it back...better yet, I'll settle for "Blade."

[ChrisT]

[Sphinx]

Now THAT is humor.

[Ursa_Eagle]

Anna said:

Put it Where it Doesn't Belong

My Pipe Needs Cleaning

Cum Clean

Cum on Ilene

Cum Buns III

Cumming in Socks

Girls Who Crave Cock

Men in Black II-The KY Connection

Pink Pussy Lips

 

AND of course,

Happy Scrappy Hero Pup

 

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot! hey, HEY get back here!

 

Good work Anna, digging up that list!

[kitten]

snoboy said:

kitten said:

NEXT QUESTION??????

Do you think it is inappropriate to do weekend routes with the opposite sex without your wife present?

 

WTF is wrong with you people, and kitten I don't mean just you, it's just that your quote seems to sum it up.

 

Have you nothing better to do or think about?

 

I'd be laughing my ass off at you guys if you weren't so damn pathetic!

Snoboy,

I do have many things better to do and to think about. You may not know the entire situation and have no right to comment or call something pathetic when misinformed.

I do agree that it seems minor in the light of life and pursuing one's dreams. But the questions was valid in terms of marriage, cheating, and abusing the space provided by a spouse.

I hope it will never be a question of trust for you.

[kitten]

Greg_W said:

 

"On and off"? She's using manipulative phrases to get you to do these things? Dude, uh, maybe you should re-think what you are about to do. Granted, it might be a good idea to find a common interest that you could share on some interval, but don't buy into the "you should be happy to spend you day with me" bullshit. It sounds like she doesn't understand boundaries and what Kitten mentioned about guys needing time to be out and be guys and shit. Have a good, long talk with your babe...and keep that ring at the back of your sock drawer until you do.

I wouldn't take things I said out of context Having a 'heart to heart' with your woman is smart. It has to be a compromise. It is essential you communicate your needs and respect her or try to hear them at least. She may just want to spend time with you and doesn't know how to communicate it properly without sounding controlling or needy. A commitment and trust are key.

[snoboy]

kitten said:

Snoboy,

I do have many things better to do and to think about. You may not know the entire situation and have no right to comment or call something pathetic when misinformed.

I do agree that it seems minor in the light of life and pursuing one's dreams. But the questions was valid in terms of marriage, cheating, and abusing the space provided by a spouse.

I hope it will never be a question of trust for you.

 

Hey kitten-

 

You should go do those better things then, no?

 

BTW, you asked a question, lokking for input, therefore I think I have a right to comment on it... Don't ask if you don't want an answer, you know all that jazz.

 

And like I said, it wasn't a comment directed at you or your situatuion, neither of which I know or care anything about.

 

Oh, and it is a question of trust for me. 24/7 there is trust, I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

to you too.

[kitten]

snoboy said:

Hey kitten-

 

You should go do those better things then, no?

 

BTW, you asked a question, lokking for input, therefore I think I have a right to comment on it... Don't ask if you don't want an answer, you know all that jazz.

 

And like I said, it wasn't a comment directed at you or your situatuion, neither of which I know or care anything about.

 

Oh, and it is a question of trust for me. 24/7 there is trust, I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

to you too.

Hey Sno~

YOu are right and I aplogize for blasting you. I did ask for opinions and yours is as valid as all the others.

Take care and don't worry about me. I am doing those 'better things' that life has in store for me.

Take care

[Greg_W]

kitten said:

Greg_W said:

 

"On and off"? She's using manipulative phrases to get you to do these things? Dude, uh, maybe you should re-think what you are about to do. Granted, it might be a good idea to find a common interest that you could share on some interval, but don't buy into the "you should be happy to spend you day with me" bullshit. It sounds like she doesn't understand boundaries and what Kitten mentioned about guys needing time to be out and be guys and shit. Have a good, long talk with your babe...and keep that ring at the back of your sock drawer until you do.

I wouldn't take things I said out of context

 

I didn't think I did, but, okay. What I intended to convey was that maybe his chica doesn't understand that need for guys go do their guy things.

[kitten]

So again what is the point to marriage for you?

Do you find yourself struggling with giving up your dream of doing some great first accent vs. watching the kids swim for the weekend?