Scott_J

1. FLATUS ODOR JUDGE Odor judges are common in the research labs of mouthwash companies, where the halitosis-inflicted blow great gusts of breath in their faces to test product efficacy. But Minneapolis gastroenterologist Michael Levitt recently took the job to another level—or, rather, to the other end. Levitt paid two brave souls to indulge repeatedly in the odors of other people's farts. (Levitt refuses to divulge the remuneration, but it would seem safe to characterize it thusly: Not enough.) Sixteen healthy subjects volunteered to eat pinto beans and insert small plastic collection tubes into their anuses (worst-job runners-up, to be sure). After each "episode of flatulence," Levitt syringed the gas into a discrete container, rigorously maintaining fart integrity. The odor judges then sat down with at least 100 samples, opened the caps one at a time, and inhaled robustly. As their faces writhed in agony, they rated just how noxious the smell was. The samples were also chemically analyzed, and—eureka!—Levitt determined definitively the most malodorous component of the human flatus: hydrogen sulfide. Levitt defends his work against the reflexively dismissive by noting that doctors have never studied flatulence and that smell is a potentially critical medical symptom: "The odors of feces and intestinal gas and breath could all be important markers of gastrointestinal health," he says. Hydrogen sulfide, for instance, is an extremely toxic gas to mammals, potentially playing a role in ulcerative colitis, among other diseases. And so Levitt has dedicated his career to the study of the myriad fragrances produced by the human gut and imprudently ignored by the medical establishment. 2. DYSENTERY STOOL-SAMPLE ANALYZER In the early '80s, Virginia Tech profs Tracy Wilkins and David Lyerly studied the diarrhea-causing microbe Clostridium difficile in sample after sample after sample of loose stool from the disease's victims. They became such crack dysentery docs that they launched a company, Techlab, dedicated to making stool-analysis kits. Today, Techlab employs 40 people, 19 of whom spend their working hours opening sloppy stool canisters and analyzing their contents in order to test the effectiveness of the company's kits. You'd have to have a pretty good sense of humor, right? Well, fortunately, they do. The Techlab Web site sells T-shirts with cartoons on the front (two flies hover over two blobs of dung; one says to the other, "Pardon me, is this stool taken?") and the company motto on the back: "Techlab: #1 in the #2 Business!" 3. BARNYARD MASTURBATOR Researchers who want animal sperm —to study fertility or for artificial insemination—have a suite of attractive options: They can ram an electric probe up an animal's rectum, shove an artificial vagina onto the animal's penis, or simply do it the old-fashioned way—manual stimulation. The first option, electroejaculation, uses a priapic rectal probe to send electricity pulsing through the animal's nether regions. "All the normal excitatory signals that stimulate ejaculation, like touch, sight, sound and smell, can be replaced with the current from the probe," says Trish Berger, professor of animal science at the University of California, Davis. "It's fascinating. Of course, this is a woman talking." Electroejaculation generally requires anesthetizing the animal and is typically used on zoo dwellers. The other two methods—the artificial vagina, or AV, and the good old hand—require that animals be trained to the procedure. The AV—a large latex tube coated with warm lubricant —is used primarily to get sperm from dairy bulls (considered the most ornery and dangerous of bovines). The bull gets randy with a steer; when he mounts the steer with his forelegs, a brave technician, AV in hand, insinuates himself between the two aroused beasts and deftly redirects the bull penis into the mock genitalia, which he must then hold tight while the bull orgasms. (Talk about bull riding!) Three additional technicians attempt to ensure this (fool)hardy soul's safety by anchoring themselves to restraining ropes attached to a ring in the bull's nose. Alas, this isn't always absolutely effective: Everyone who's wielded an AV has had at least one close call, and more than a few have been sent to the hospital. The much safer "digital pressure" is used mostly with pigs, who are trained from an early age to mount a small bench while the researcher reaches around with a gloved hand and provides appropriate pleasure—er, pressure. The best job in science? We nominate the pig. Popular Science

Ya and how and the hell can they actually pass the driving test? I have seen some heffers here on the north end of the state that have the seat all the way back and the steering wheel still is pressed into their gut!!! Had a woman sit next to me on a flight from Anchorage to Seattle. She started to lift the arm rest up so her fat could slide over on to me. I looked at her and told her that the arm rest was staying down. She rang the attendant and told them she wanted the arm rest up and I was not being nice about. I told the attendant that I did not pay to have her body spilling onto me for the next 3.5 hours!!! They could 1. remove the woman or me to another seat. 2 remove the woman for another flight. 3. remove me and give me a free flight the next time around. They found her an empty seat. Like my quote says I am an ass hole but most ass holes like me. Several people told me that they felt like me but lacked the guts to say anything.

I'm on the westside again.

Looks like a shit ass wide grin of a stoned person. Note the wide spaced eyes near edge of smile.

The amazing things about the property of ones and the (1,0) matrix is how it applies to the DNA, RNA and cloning.I wish I had been more focused in my under grad years. The application of math to biotechnology is going to explode soon. Right now its just smoldering.

Dogman, you're starting to sound alot like me. Go see some more country side and take some pics so I can see 'em when you get back. By the way PM me about your family and mine getting together when you get back.

Great story Dru. Since the bottom of the beaver market went out a few years back hardly anyone traps beaver. Trapping for this critter is tough. Season usually starts in Jan or Feb. so to start the process you have to shovel to the ice, 3 to 6 feet of snow. Then you need to cut a good-sized hole to slide the fresh trees into with attached snares. Now you cover the entire hole with tree limbs or a sheet of plywood. Next you need to check the trap about every 12 to 24 hours. If you are lucky you’ll have DOA beaver. As far as I am concerned beaver is the nicest pelt of all the fur bearing mammals. The meat is out standing, far better than a side of beef. ( You usually don’t take more than two beaver from each house by the way)

You know though I have very few problems with the ass holes. I tell them what I want and also tell them that if they do what I want. This will be good when they have to see the Man. I'll be there and tell the Man that they have been doing everything in class that I have asked. That carries some weight b/4 sentencing.

Ditto to Nolar

How many of you work with ass hole students? If some mother fucker of a piece of shit wanna be pulls a gun on me they better be ready to pull the fucking trigger! 'Cause if they don't I will fucking use it on them on the way to the fucking dirt. I work with "kids" that are in the fuckin big house and some that are out. The ones in the big house are the safest as you are part of the team that wands them on the way in, but its in the public sector that you have to wary. It’s a very small percentage but you have to be careful. If you disagree that is your prerogative and its mine to act and feel the way I do. If it smells like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck it’s probably a duck. In other words if you are doing something that is illegal take it like a man or a woman. And all you GOD DAMN FUCKING BLEEDING HEARTS give it a fucking rest. If the bleeding hearts would of backed off years ago the problems we have in this society today might be a little less.

I don't know where I'll be Tuesday as there is a bow deer only season opening on Monday, so Tuesday I will not be real close to a computer. So with that said I wish to thank all the vets on this site and beyond this site for their service to the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. If you see me I'll buy the latte'. If we had a Graemlin that did a proper salute I'd post that too. Thank you men and women of the Armed Services

Said Al "the fuck head" Gore

Ya, and the other choices were soooo much better. Fuck, the Democrats haven't run a good candidate since Harry S "I'm a cussin' man" Truman. Jimmy Carter might have done some good if only he would have had a congress that worked with him but for all the rest they have sucked DONKKEY COCK.

Lips, noses and ass holes.

http://www.geocities.com/odjobman/coetzee.htm

I have a fire wall, a pop up stopper and a spam device that seems to work real well as well as all the virus stuff etc.

I like 'em wide unless it’s hard as fucking concrete then I go for the narrower profile. If ya got only money for one pair buy a compromise.

What the fuck you doing Dru. Don't give out good beta! Send 'em to the tourist places and leave the best for guys from the Sault St. Marie and Vancouver, eh.

Here ya go click on this for some discord http://www.discord-aggregate.com/

God almighty how many times can we spray about pins, aid, bolts. Jesus H fucking Christ there are a ton of better subjects to fucking spray about. Get over it and fucking forget about it. I have been hearing about this shit since 1972 and it does not change.

Instinctive Shooting by Asbell Timeless Bowhunting by Marlow Bows on the Little Delta by St.Charles

I'll take red necks, white socks and blue lable beer to the city any fucking day.

Come here I'll give ya a hug while I stick a dirk in you and steal your wallet.

Anything with a fast tempo, lots of bass, unintelligible lyrics and it must be LOUD!