Well, since you mentioned turd. . .
Another time, one of our managing partners, a grumpy old bastard, came up to me super pissed and still in his running clothes drenched in sweat. He asked me if I had brought my dog into the office over the weekend to which I replied no, I had not. He stormed off leaving me wondering why the hell he asked me that.
Well, it turns out that there was dogshit in the mens shower.
He called our buildings security and asked for the security log for the weekend to determine who had brought the offending canine into the building. In the meantime, curiously I peered into the shower and there it was: a glistening pile of dog shit.
Made out of plastic. The clever jokester who had left it there had sprinkled water on it to make it more 'life-like'.
God that was funny.