Dr_Flash_Amazing

Just be thankful you didn't run up against AmazingCo, Inc. and our crack team of vicious legal pitbulls. You'd be lucky if you could even move your broken fingers after a bout with that shit, never mind having the luxury of whining on some internet message board. Last sorry bastard that thought he could get away with cavalierly commandeering the heavily copywrit/trademarked/patented-to-shit "Inc." in the name of his half-assed excuse for a second-grade-lemonade-stand little business enterprise? Let's just say the AmazingCo Legal Bureau gave Freddie Free-enterprise a little something in common with Jacques Cousteau, and returning to the surface of the ocean wasn't it, you dig?

Kind of like internet sex, huh?

Michael Jackson is a non-story. Celebrity marriages are a non-story. Deep Throat, however, is an American hero. This guy was instrumental in blowing the doors off one of the biggest known instances of government corruption ever, which led to the toppling of an entire administration. Learning the true identity of such a person hardly seems inconsequential.

Now you've picked up a certified Doctorial mannerism...DFA must not be the only one drinking and posting this evening.

Ehh...sorry, sport, but DFA doesn't have any imaginary friends. But, if he did, you can bet your ass they wouldn't be a Bush-voting, Rush-listening, NRA-supporting, Ann Coulter-fantasizing, starboard-winging whackos. Yeesh!

Would the com-chasm then be for the capitalists, the commies, or the cable providers?

It's a good point you make, Winter. The beauty of America is that it allows you to hate damn near everything about it--or at least everyone in charge of running it--without going to jail (usually). Who wouldn't love such a place and want to make it better? Of course, one has to wonder: at what point does the slimy, hypocritical, money-lubricated political system end, and the fabric of the nation begin?

Typical conservative closet-case. Decry the liberal ethos with fiery contrarian slanderism from one corner of your mouth, slur lustful leftist four-way fantasies (double alliteration, double word score!) out the other. Rest assured, Fairweather, Dr. Flash Amazing can read you like a book. (Or would that be Penthouse Forum? Nah, too highbrow.)

No, no, no! Dr. Flash Amazing is thumbing through the latest International Medical Journal & Report (the hotly anticipated 'Disease Vectors Special Edition' for 2005, thank you very much), and it says right here that "the SARchasm is now widely acknowledged to be the origin of the deadly SARS virus. While the chasm is named for its proximity to the diminutive burg of Sianxiang Ang Rong in the hinterlands of northwestern China, the disease takes its name from both the initials of said town, and the first initial of Sochaipan Hoang-Li, the unfortunate explorer of the chasm who is believed to have first contracted the disease from poisonous cave bats which may have feasted on infected chickens in a nearby market." Also, this so-called "Snafflehunter" sounds decidedly...hmm...Trask-ish. Could it be?

Shit talker, huh? Stick your slings up your ass, you wack-ass hater. Fuckin' know how to place a Hex and tie a water knot and you think you're hot shit, now? Fool, please.

it's hard to take anyone seriously when they make an error like that! The challenge now is to figure out what word he meant to use. Can you? The Doctor is as yet unable to determine what our agitated friend is trying to say... Anyone have any ideas? "You guys are bordering on..." Prophecy? Plagiarism?* Paraguay? Proctology? Maybe parody? The mind boggles. (* BUSTED! What was DFA thinking? Was DFA thinking? )

Primary function of automobile: transportation Primary function of swimming pool: recreation (see also: water, naturally collecting in low-lying areas everywhere) Primary function of firearms: killing Why is it that whenever someone uses a gun for its intended purpose (i.e. killing), you gun-toters always fall back on the same bogus comparisons to deaths caused by objects either not used for their intended purpose, or which caused death by accident? Do you not realize that the gun is the only item in the comparison that is designed solely for killing? Or do you not think that anyone else will pick up on that crucial point? While you're thinking this over, you should look up the definition of "prodigy." Clown.

Nicely put. Time to thin the hypocrite herd!

Bummer.

Wait, when did you have our respect in the first place?

Ooh! Grid bolting! But wait! Slabs! Oh, the conflict!

You're pretty much going to get what you pay for with ropes, so you might as well spring for something decent. I.e., you could buy a Roca or other cheapie brand for 100 bucks or so, and have it wear out in six months or a year, or spend another fifty bucks or so on a higher-quality cord and get much more use out of it. Not to mention, it's your life. Why skimp? The Doctor got his last rope at justropes.com; they had a coupon in the climbing mags for 20% off your first order--maybe they're still doing that? Anyway, they had a good selection, and came through quickly enough with the goods; worth a repeat visit.

Page middle-or-so!

That's pretty funny. You obviously lack even the faintest clue as to what you are talking about, but keep talking if it makes you feel like you know something.

And you have the gall to wonder why you're NOT a security gaurd anymore. You're just mean. Why are you so mean, Mr. Meaniehead?

Pizzle tizzle.

Soo-weet-ah! It's like mini-Maple Canyon!

Who F-ing gives a shit? Ascensionist is like cc.com on laxatives, for crying out loud.

You all are a bunch of panty-waist punters! DFA used to fuck kids like you in juvie!