Dr_Flash_Amazing

P-) Yarr, matey! Ya smell like a dead fish <*){{{>< laddie! You're right, Iain! What great fun!

:that laughing face we used to have:

Iain, don't forget the ever-popular "piece of string" and "stick." Big playtime hits throughout the ages!

Chuck, how'd you get him to show up? Typing :yellaf: doesn't seem to do it anymore.

Greenieweenie ! Anyone who disagrees can get and eat the !

DFA was strapped with a completely unfounded fear of leading for quite a while, which proved very difficult to get over. Since you have gotten hurt falling, perhaps the first step would be to identify how or why you got hurt. Were the falls long or in dangerous places like swinging into a corner or hitting a ledge? Did they hurt because of your falling technique? Were you short-roped and took a hard fall, or did you get tangled in loops of slack? Identifying why the falls hurt you would be a logical first step, so you can avoid similar situations in the future, and ensure that your falls will be safe. People pitch off routes constantly, and it's pretty rare that they get hurt, so keeping this in mind might help. Then, of course, it's time to practice actually falling, and either the gym or a well-protected route outside is ideal. Find something moderately overhanging for starters, so you won't smack into something, get a trustworthy and competent belayer, and start falling. Take it slow and be sure you're comfortable, start small, and work your way up to bigger falls as you get more comfortable with it. You're unlikely to wind up with a bolt much lower than at your toes at most sport crags, so you don't need to be taking huge screamers to prepare yourself. If you don't want to start fall practice on the sharp end, try toproping with a little slack out and falling that way. You could also work on leading routes that are well within your ability and focus on staying calm, and focusing on the climbing, not the potential falls. This is a big difference between people who are scared of falling and people who aren't. Invariably, the people who aren't worried about falling are more focused on the actual climbing, and consequently wind up falling less. Toproping with some slack out is also a good way to help staying focused. You know you're on TR and it's safe, so just keep reminding yourself of that, and focus on the climbing. Talk to yourself if you need to in order to stay focused. DFA has found it helpful to verbally (either in your head or out loud) remind himself to breathe, focus, bear down, stick holds when dynoing, use good footwork, etc. Pretty much any time you catch yourself doing something you shouldn't or if you need to do something specific on a route, it's helpful to remind yourself verbally. It might seem a little silly, but hell, so is rock climbing.

Fair enough, Muffage. True the Doctor oughtn't be so quick to label. And don't worry, DFA knows he's not that "punk." Just another loser ex-skater with a smart-ass attitude, leftist politix, and and affinity for loud, fast, real muzak. Capt. Caveman sounds like he'd make a better skinhead than a punk (which is not to say that he's either, of course). He's already got the lust for violence and the rabid blind nationalism; all he needs is the haircut, the boots, and twenty other like-minded thugs to hang out with. Oi! Oi! Oi!

DFA has found plenty of friendly climbers at Smith Rock, Red Rocks, Maple Canyon, American Fork, Joe's Valley, The Happy Boulders, The Buttermilks, the Portland Rock Gym, Stone Gardens, and assorted other small crags and gyms here and there. The number of arrogant, obnoxious, or disruptive meatheads has been close to nil, although DFA hasn't run into Capt. Caveman at the crags yet ...

Climbing with stronger/better climbers is a great way to improve, and training helps too. Doing some cardio shtuff like running is helpful for building endurance, too, and is often overlooked. DFA found himself climbing much better after a few months of running, and climbing laps on the lead wall at the gym. Doing laps in the gym is helpful, as you can give yourself something moderate to work out on, adjusting difficulty as needed. It's a great way to focus on getting mental control over being pumped, which can be a huge way to advance. Think about it; how many times have you fallen off moves you can do after a rest because you were too pumped? Or blown an onsight because you let the pump take over? There is a huge mental component to being pumped, as it's your brain essentially trying to stop you from doing whatever's flooding your muscles with lactic acid, in this case climbing. So you start getting tense or scared, you feel like you can't keep going, you get gripped, and you're outta there. You'll find your technique getting sloppy, which makes you more gripped -- the phrase "pumped stupid" is actually pretty accurate. Teaching yourself to recognize this and overcome it is key. When you feel yourself starting to get pumped, remind yourself that you're totally safe, everything's cool, and you don't need to be pumped. Focus on controlling your breathing, taking deep breaths, and getting relaxed, and remind yourself that you're in control. Remind yourself to maintain good technique, keep focusing on your footwork, don't rush, etc. Sounds hokey as hell, but it's remarkably effective and helpful. Training your weaknesses is also handy. If you can't crimp for shit or you wither at the thought of dynoing, or if fear of falling paralyzes you, you're not going to advance until you overcome that weakness. Try to analyze your climbing or ask your partners where they think you could improve, and put in some time every time you're at the gym or the crag and work on whichever areas you need improvement. You'll likely break through your barrier, and you'll be a better-rounded climber as a result.

You're totally cracked, dude. When you're in the alpine, do you wear a helmet to protect that echo chamber mounted on your neck? Like putting a car alarm on a rusted-out Pinto. Still laffinatcha!

Don't forget about the too!

Oooohhh! You're so rad!

Ray, how many times have you thoroughly lost your shit when the Doctor cracks wise with a "fun comment" in one of your conversations? And how is pointing out that no one on this message board has any effect on your (in)ability to find a snow buddy "instigating shit"? Your hair-trigger impotent rage seems to have overcome your ability to reason. Time to wake up and grow up, man. The whole angry jock kick-your-ass routine might have worked in highschool, but this ain't highschool, which makes your tantrums pretty pathetic. If you were a little more rational, people might respect you; trying to get people to fear you by playing the thug just makes them laugh at you. Violence is not the answer, etc. ... end of PSA.

Or a dill pickle? Or delusional? Or diligent? A dishwasher? Disco Stu? Dinty Moore beef stew?

Bah! They'll never take DFA! They'll have to pry his quickdraws from his cold, dead hands, and his Sportivas from his cold, dead feet! Confidential to Greg: You're off the Christmas list, bub!

- Do a couple few trad routes - Climb some sport routes at Smith - Go on some road trips - Go bouldering - Get married

Trask, old friend, you may want to notify the moderators that they misspelled "enema" under your name! Your friend, Dr. Flash Amazing

Shit, it's going to be like that episode of 'The State' on eMptyTV way back when; where the teacher is explaining to her class that you can't say "kill the president," and then a bunch of Secret Service dudes bust into the classroom and haul her off. So don't say "kill the president," for goodness sakes! Also, don't say: Islam, bomb, Saddam, terrorist, George Bush is a turnip, fuck America, burn down the government, subvert the right-wing pseudo-democratic Freemason fascist ruling class, or Dick Cheney smells like a goat. Please form an orderly line to receive your subdermal monitoring and tracking device and corporate service draft card. Persons suspected of looking at the president funny will be temporarily relocated to Patriot Camp for reprogramming until further notice. Up your ass, Poindexter!

How's this new $hit workin' out, then?

Seahawks.

Fuckin' Canadians ...

quote: Originally posted by Son of Caveman: DFA, you ignorant slut. Just what does a male orgasm have to do with the Seattle Seahawks? Please refrain from posting leud images as my two kids are home early today and would be shocked by your offensive profaneness. Stifle it, jizzbucket.

quote: Originally posted by Son of Caveman: I think dfa stood up greg at the last gay pride event . bwahahaha You kiss your husband with that mouth?