Dr_Flash_Amazing

Anytown, Young America, same thing. Anyway, the postmaster general knows damn well how to get packages to Dr. Flash Amazing. Technically, you're not even supposed to need to use the address, just scrawl "DFA" across whatever you're sending. Apparently, though, those whiny postal service employees were kvetching, so the Doctor cut them some holiday slack.

Nah, it's just some end of the season social function, and informally a farewell to PCOBS. The Doctor's never been to a BT&T, but they're s'posed to be pretty fun. Shit, DFA doesn't even work at OB.

It's "hoity-toity," brah. FYI. Just helping a brother out this holiday season, being a good guy and all that. Send gifts to: Amazing Clinic, Inc. Attn: Dr. Flash Amazing 123 4th St. Anytown, USA 55555

Well, like, duh and stuff.

Still working off that inferiority complex, eh, Sisu? Keep at it, fella! Perhaps a New Year's resolution: "This year I will accept the fact that I will never be on par with Dr. Flash Amazing, and I will be happy with who I am!" Repeat as often as necessary to stave off suicide.

Well, somebody's gotta be the worst at everything. For some reason, that somebody seems to be DFA more often than not. Hmmm. Anybody going to the Outward Bound cocktail party/holiday social thing this eve'?

Cancel that, Houston!

... aaand the TOP of the PAGE. Ahhh, fuckit.

Bottom of the page ...

It's (apparently) angry Muslims who want to kill people. A touching holiday sentiment.

Your mama's so fat, when she gets a page top, it covers the whole damn page! BOO YAH!

Good idea, there. And, while you're at the spam-generating gig, do all the signing up at Christian websites. A bunch of Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts type of stuff; Christmas e-cards and whatnot. If you're gonna bug the shit out of them with spam, you might as well make it spam that they'll hate. 'Course, don't come crying when they blow up your house!

PAGEFUCKINGTOP!!!

And let's not fawking forget the almighty: Can the Docta get a "hell yeah!"?

This, friends, colleagues, and hangers-on, is a sham, a chamois, a chemise. A shell game, a charade, charlatanery, at the very least shady. For shame!

- Assorted tweaks from Mapleshade. - Assorted musics on the CD and the LP - Stickers to plaster on the Sub's windows - Digital camera as soon as DFA and the Mrs. have some scrilla to spend on such

Cheap. Fucking cheap.

Whatchootalkin'about, Willis?

Nice one. Time to VETO that moron!

Why not just get "I am jealous of everything that Dr. Flash Amazing is, and it makes me feel pathetic, inadequate, and kind of aroused" tattooed across your forehead? 'Cause really, it's plain as pie.

Dammit, Greg! As a republican, you're not supposed to do cool stuff like enjoy good authors! You're supposed to be only into shooting guns at environmentalists, driving huge SUV's around the mall parking lot, snowmobiling through elk breeding grounds, and supporting exploitative corporations' right to get rich off the underdog. For the last time, stick to the fawking script!

Y'all love comp results, admit it. Pullin' plastic is fan-fucking-tastic, yes yes y'all. http://www.climbxmedia.com/index4.html

TLG, where you gettin' all them toilet-related emoticons? Or do we even want to know?

Very funny, trad man. And you only wear wool knickers or painter's pants, right? Incidentally, DFA did actually buy some Prana shorts a while back, but they don't stretch, which is pretty lame, and they bunch up all to hell under a harness. Metolius clothing all the way. And, as you astutely point out, a down jacket. Standing around in the cold is cold!

What? Dude, Trask, chicks don't fart, man! Where'd you go to school, anyway?