Dwayner

To help Peter Puget put the quote in context: Read what I wrote again: "Just thought I'd bring that up for the new climbers who might think that rap-bolting, grid and convenience bolting are the UNCONTROVERSIAL status quo." Bolting IS the status quo and a lot of new climbers probably don't realize it's still a big issue (and it's going to remain so). As far as Messner's quote is concerned, in my opinion it's universally relevant which is probably still his stance. So if the quote is 30 years old, it's passé? How old are you, mister Puget? ("Don't trust anyone over 30", remember that lovely slogan from the "glorious 60's"?) aloha, Dwayner

Rheinhold Messner once wrote something to the effect that one who brings a drill, carries his courage in his rucksack. He also refers to bolting as "the murder of the impossible." Just thought I'd bring that up for the new climbers who might think that rap-bolting, grid and convenience bolting are the uncontroversial status quo. - Dwayner

Hey Beck! Other Pub-Clubbers! Where's the Tuesday night Pub-Fest, Boozin' Time gonna be: I wanna hear about all the climbing that I didn't get to do! How about the U. district again or Ballard? - Dwayner

Mr. Iambone....come on over here and sit on ole Uncle Dwayner's lap and let him tell you a story. Yup, ole Uncle Dwayner's been climbin for 28 years now AND HAS NEVER HEARD THE WORD "NEWBIE" USED TO DESCRIBE A NOVICE CLIMBER UNTIL HE SAW IT PRESENTED RIGHT HERE! So if there is a history to that word; a) I somehow missed out on this wonderful new piece of us and them jargon, or: b) it's relatively new; c) or it's making the rounds in the sporty/gym world. d) it's extremely provincial; e) a combination of the above. Anyway, it's a ridiculous word. It sounds stupid if not insulting and "novice" works just fine. O.K., Mr. Iambone, you can get off my lap now, you're makin' me a little nervous. aloha, Dwayner P.S. Post your gym hours. Me 'n pope are going to go down there and show you some dynamic back-stepping sit starts.

pope "Was ist passiert?" ain't much of a question. Name the actress!!! - Dwayner

I think I recognized that woman who bitch-slapped Beck at the Tuesday Pub-Night. IT WAS STIFFLER'S MOTHER!!!

Name the actress who asked, "Was ist passiert?" - Dwayner

Cascade Climbers Pub Club...a name that is quickly becoming the alpine equivalent of the Emmy's or Oscar's. For those who weren't there, it was another star-studded evening of climbing celebrities, this time meeting at the exclusive Pike Place Bar and Grill in Seattle. Once again, the congenial "Beck" was the unofficial host, this time decked out in full country attire including a designer Southwestern chapeau, a stylish yellow kerchief, and all the appropriate Western accessories. The rumor was that he was a VIP guest at a special concert at the nearby Showbox theatre. When his glamorous date arrived, we knew that Monsieur Beck was not pulling our Big Wall legs! It would require pages upon pages to describe all of the beta swapping, lifestyle accusations and witty retorts from this fine evening of elegance, glamour and frivolity. Apart from some of the usual faces, Mr. David Parker joined us as did the one known as "Hikewa". There was also a very fleeting view of "Holly Climber" who bolted for the door at the mere sight of Dwayner. Everyone had their own highlights. I especially enjoyed Fast Eddie E.'s striking orange organic cotton Patagonia shirt. Later I was mystified when a rather large anonymous woman walked up to Beck and sucker-punched him. (The fallout from an exotic and intense affair played out years ago in Paris?...or was it Venice? Ahhh. So many women to remember!!!!) Before I left, Ehmmic was so impressed, or should I say spellbound, by the story of how my computer hard-drive crashed that she asked for my autograph. "Best wishes, Dwayner", I wrote with her expensive but worthless pen, and I meant it. As I crawled out of bed this morning, heading for the refrigerator (still crawling) for my favorite breakfast beverage (a quart of Mickey's with a straw), I had to ask myself...was it all a dream? OR JUST ANOTHER STAR-STUDDED PUB NIGHT AT CASCADE CLIMBERS.COM? I hope to have that question solved by dinner as I leaf through my pockets to find any stray receipts that might reveal the truth. - faithfully reported by Dwayner

Thanks a lot, pope, for causing me to revisit some old psychic trauma! A few years ago I suffered some genuine anguish when I tried to reconcile the fact that the great actor and stud who played in the Eiger Sanction, Bronco Billy and Honkeytonk Man, was deeply involved in that pathetic chick-flick, Bridges of Madison County. "What was he thinking?!", I asked over and over and over again. That movie has ruined many a marriage and a climbing career. The grass is always greener with some other dude.....so they think!

Hey Beck! Where's your next dang Tuesday Pub-Night? - aloha from all your pals.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. http://www.people.fas.harvard.edu/~pyang/base/allyourbase.swf ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.

The phone rang late Friday night. It was pope begging for alpine excellence. With but one day for adventure, he shared a dream...a geometrically-shaped monolith on the flanks of Tahoma that had captured his imagination for years. I think you know what I'm talking about: Pyramid Peak. Fast forward. 06:07 Sat. morning. pope is 7 minutes late and I'm starting to pace. A squeal of brakes and a skid mark in my driveway and moments later we're MRNP bound. Time flies quickly as I search pope's extra-large pack for his 10 essentials and before we know it, we're heading into Ashford. The car seemed to be on auto-pilot as we slowly turned into the parking lot of the Whittaker Bunkhouse. In seconds, pope had grabbed his Bunkhouse coffee mug and was sprinting for the door. He wasn't ready for what awaited him....whereas before, he had had the luxury of basking in the ambience of a veritable Musée du Lou, the place was crowded with RMI summit contenders, nervously shuffling in anticipation of their high-paced slog to Muir. The young pretty who had so patiently absorbed pope's attempts at cool-cat innuendo a couple of weeks ago was now cranking out an endless stream of latte's. It was looking pretty random until some tall, nerdy lookin', jackass-corporate-exec.-climbin'-the-big-mountain-to-discover-himself type, comes in yackin, "Where's the line? There should be a line!" It took all I had to refrain from doing a little goose-stepping for him to make him feel at home. pope stood in line quietly and got his coffee. His usual playful swagger had vanished in the chaos of the early morning line-up and to top it off, BIG LOU WAS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN!!! Let's get outta here...NOW!, ordered pope. We arrived shortly at the West Side Road and found the now unmarked trail leading up to I. Hank's Hunting Ground. Pyramid Peak: it really looks like a pyramid. Mr. pope thought it would be extremely remote and technical thus the Big Wall rack, bivouac gear and the double-nine ropes he hauled up. To his disappointment, there was a trail to the top. It ain't the summit it's the journey, right? (snicker) And among the highlites, we found a mysterious black hair comb on a log and six young ladies asked us if we knew a good place to go swimming because they were hot and sweaty. pope was ready to turn around and show them the nearest mosquito-filled puddle of rain water but I grabbed him by the collars and shook him. "Get a hold of yourself, man! We got work to do! Where's your alpine spirit!" He came to his senses. We hiked out and headed for home. pope looked out the opposite window as we drove by the Bunkhouse and I could see a small tear in his eye. "Next time..", I tried to comfort him. "Next time....he'll be there!!".

By the way, that wig pope was talking about...he keeps it under the passenger's seat of his car with a cheerleader's outfit. The wig I'll wear, but the sweater with the big initial on it (a large sewn on "p" for "pope") and the little pleated skirt is just going way too far!

Here's how to spice up them cheap road trips: At feeding time, drive to the nearest Safeway where there's sometimes a shopping cart full of cans that are dented or have lost their labels. Pick out a couple missing the labels and commit yourself to eating its contents. We did this once and.....YUM, YUM, DOG FOOD! Or play roulette by picking out a couple of similar sized cans: one is something you like and the other is something wretched like tripe or whatever. Then you mix them up and vote on which can is dinner. Delicious. - hungry Dwayner

Miss Dynamite: We all make choices. I know that several of us put on clean T-shirts with climbing themes, slapped on underarm deodorant (or borrowed Jules's Blistex as a reasonable substitute), and popped a few Tic-Tac's in anticipation of your appearance. Thank goodness the delightful and effervescent Bivi-na was there so that our special grooming was not totally lost!! So if you think that one hickey-spewing dude is worth more than a tableful of handsome alpine superstars, well..., uh,....you're probably mistaken. And hickeys aren't that special anyway; you can give one to yourself if you'll settle for one on your arm. So go ahead, Dynamite, break a few hearts, we'll know you'll come back and we'll be there, spraying in our pitchers of beer, perhaps a little more shy, a tad bit hesitant, eye-contact will be a little shifty at first, but we'll get over it. Besides, Bivi-na raised our miserable self-esteem just by talking to us and not using the words "pickeled", "lush" or "sorry sods"! - sad Dwayner

Thanks for makin' me all thirsty, guys. Guess it's time to drag myself outta of the house and get me some breakfast. Dang! It's 3:30!! Better head to the 7-11 and get my morning '64 of Mickey's, stylishly consumed with a big red Slurpee straw. Then's it off to Costco for some world-class grazing. Why did the sport-climber cross the road? To bolt a pile of choss as practice before heading over to ruin the good stuff. Yowsa! Don't get me started!!!

Pub Night Report...showed up c.6:30 PM and Beck, MattP and the bicycle guy whose name I can't remember (sorry, bicycle guy!) were all there. The tables were lacquered (as we would soon be) and the pub had the smokey aroma of a cheap strip club (not that I've ever been to such a place...). It bespoke of but one thing....BOOZIN' TIME!!! It was a relatively small turnout with some genuine celebrities including Chris W., Dr. J., Fast Eddie E., that cool guy from Los Gatos, that other guy at the end of the table, and the charming Miss Bivi-na. Controversial subjects were addressed and there was not a single boisterous threatening outburst or sucker punch in this electified atmosphere of alpine excellence. Chances are, if you weren't there, you came up in some discussion or other, for example, we speculated about Jules opinion of wool sock thickness and whether "pope" looks more dashing in a rugby shirt or a pastel T. You know, important stuff, mixed in with some Climberfest planning talk and some hardcore, no holds barred, serious exchange of route beta. The beer was good and the staff was really friendly, plus it was in a convenient location near the freeway. In short, YOU should have been there!!! Once again, Beck pulled off another social tour de force ...thanks Beck! - Dwayner P.S. No sign of Stiffler's mother...should have checked the pool tables or the parking lot. [This message has been edited by Dwayner (edited 08-22-2001).]

The book "Kon-Tiki" was the most inspirational book of my life and I first read it as a kid. It's the story of six Scandinavians who launched themselves into the Pacific on a replica of an ancient South American sailing raft (in 1947). Everyone predicted they would die, but they actually had a good time despite all of the big waves and weird fish. Loads of adventure and positive attitude in there. And they ended up on an island with a bunch of Polynesian wahines! Ironically, many years since I first read it, I now work with the author, Thor Heyerdahl, who went on to do many more wild adventures. He'll be 87 this year and is in terrific physical and mental condition..still organizing expeditions and writing books! - Dwayner

Is Stiffler's mother going to be there????

Fast Eddie: You speak the truth!!! I've been reading mountaineering "literature" for a long, long time and then last summer, I finally read Lansing's "Endurance" book which was recommended to me years ago. It was THE greatest tale of ultimate toughness and outdoor survival I've read. This ain't three days of getting cold in the Alps; this went on for days, and days in the harshest and scariest of conditions. They should have been dead many times over yet all survived. Listen to Eddie! He knows! Forget this Twight sports-drink pounding, Gu-sucking, I'm in so much pain baloney and read about some real tough guys!!!! - Dwayner, inspired just thinking about that story!!!

I am the King of Siam. love, Dwayner...yap, yap, yap P.S. I actually liked Twight's "Extreme" book and learned a few hot tips, and don't have any problem with him makin' money. I just take issue with the "walk a mile in my shoes" concept. By those standards, none of us can say "boo" about much of anything outside our own personal world of expertise, although it's true, the quality of one's opinion will often be judged by the quantity of one's own experience. Yes, there are all kinds of ways of knowing and assessing, INCLUDING, means OUTSIDE of the standard Western paradigm. How about this...I SENSE that I have turned this whole discussion into a real bore. Dooohhhhh!

"Climb anyway that satisfies you, that is the end goal afterall. BUT, until you climb as hard as Mark, or repeat some of his routes using different tactics you don't have much room to criticize." Brother Will! What kind of thinking is that??? Life is one big critique from the time we get up and decide whether our shirts are too stinky to wear for another weak, to our choice of menu items at a sushi-bar. To suggest that we don't have a right to comment or critisize unless we've been right there is to squelch free thought. There are also other ways of obtaining knowledge and arriving at conclusions other than direct experience...for example, repeating many of Twight's routes would probably be a dangerous experience for me at this time for a variety of reasons that I can conclude without even leaving this computer terminal. We can draw from our own experience, the experiences of others or perhaps come to a conclusion wholely based on our own rationalizations and if we disagree, so what. Next Point: Lots of focus on Twight because he's created his own niche: THE tormented alpinist who writes. We know of him because he gets published and the stories are usually about himself. There have always been extreme guys like that around. Twenty years ago I worked with a mountain guide named Dave Stutzman (Haireball..you probably knew that guy) whose life revolved around extreme climbing, extreme skiing, and his love of women. In my opinion, he was the technical equivalent of Twight (extreme minimalism) in his time. Unfortunately his life was cut short in an avalance c.1983. Dave went into the mountains and soloed big alpine routes fast with the most minimal of gear and if it were all rock, he'd even go barefoot! And you'd have to pry the details out of him later or get them from someone who saw him doing these things because it was a personal thing. And you know what? There are guys like he and Twight all over Europe. So the difference seems to be how much mouth-noise you can make and how much print you can command. He published a book. We're talking about him. .....Exactly! - Dwayner, who has an opinion even though he climbs for the joy and adventure rather than to mask the "pain of life".

Can we have it at that hot tub place? - jus askin'! Uhhhhhh, never mind.

Dang, crazyjy, I mean jz. You sound like an old buddy of mine who is a local Spanaway celebrity! At least you spelled the word "poseur" correctly. I find no need to pose, my friend, although I've heard strangers at a campfire spin tales about how bad I was on climbs I was never on. And one summer a while back, I was doing my thing in the Middle East and returned to learn that while I was gone, I had been busted by the park service for soloing Willis Wall! If I'm looking for heroes, it generally ain't in the climbing world although I met Edmund Hillary once and was amazed to find that he seemed to be almost embarassed by all that he has accomplished. By the way, any Big Lou sightings this weekend on Dan's Dreadful Direct or whatever? Send Lou in to fight them big fires! aloha, Dwayner

If I recall, last week, the lovely Miss Dynamite suggested some sort of establishment in the U. District. How about making it somewhere freeway-close so that the southerners don't have the spend a long-time finding the place and a longer time driving around in circles in Ballard on the way home? I don't really care, just make it relatively close to I-5. (and preferably with Mickey's on tap). Maybe you'll attract more people from all directions if it's convenient. What say Master of Ceremonies Beck? Maybe even Iambone will show up! - thirsty Dwayner