Dwayner

Those who have been to the Pub Club in Tacoma before, are well aware of the city's charm, hospitality and alpine excellence as the gateway to Mighty Tahoma, for which it is named. Beer on Tuesday? Bring it on! May I suggest once again "The Swiss" as the venue due to it's easy on/off freeway access (easier than removing your sweaty rainbow lycra body suit) and its nice selection of adult beverages. I would also like to suggest that Bro. Erik be the unofficial local host (I'd do it but I'm busy until 8) and that first call begin at 7 PM so you Seattle folk can avoid the heaviest of traffic. So drag yourselves to Tacoma and find out why it's called "The City of Destiny". If I get's a few "right-on's", I'll post the directions to The Swiss. - Dwayner

...went back to Hawai'i for a little while to reasbsorb some of the old spirit, attend the Ironman thang, traverse some lava landscape, etc. and I come back to read a couple of weeks worth of cc.com this and that, and what do I encounter?: The old bolting/sport climbing unresolvable "debate" raging once again for like the third time this year and as usual, with lots 'o anger on all sides; odd stuff about "moondancing"; a picture of a skinny girl in her underwear being touted as "the most accomplished all-around female climber in the world" - never heard of her; and a strange composite photo of the lovely Holly Climber's head on someone else's body; plus lots of nasty chatter mixed in with the rest. What happened to the aloha, my righteous alpine brethren? (Lot of folks uptight about the horrendous mayhem, no doubt...no excuse for being mean-spirited, however. And remember, you still got a far greater chance of being hit by lightening or a car than being attacked by a terrorist and there's little you can do about it anyway.) So all I got to say is: Spread the shalom and share the aloha. And don't call me a hippy for saying so. Here's a sample: http://www.himah.org/meaning_of_aloha.htm http://homepages.uhwo.hawaii.edu/clear/lawaloha.html aloha, Dwayner

I witnessed the baby on Pinnicle Peak incident. It was probably the most irresponsible thing I'd ever seen in the mountains. My students and I were just starting up the south face when we heard what must have been a one year old (or younger) screaming up near the top. A bunch of people were downclimbing and we could see a baby backpack with a tiny head flopping back and forth. A couple of minutes later, the baby was removed (to calm it?) and was seen tucked under dad's arm while he tried to downclimb on fairly slick and steep rock liberally covered with scree. It was a disaster ready to happen and the students were horrified. A member of the party told me that "they take the baby everywhere they go", that's right, mom was up there with him and didn't seem to have any problem with the idea that the dad might easily slip or drop the kid. When this guy came down, I suggested that his kid should at least be outfitted with a helmet to which he noted that I wasn't wearing one. One of the students quickly pointed out that the baby didn't have much to say in this matter. Anyway, we were relieved when they reached flat ground, and marveled at the sheer stupidity of it all. That was on Saturday. On Sunday, we got to watch a group of several Mountaineers or such climb up steep rotten rock (some in big dorky plastic ice boots) on Castle Peak to a virtual deadend. There were four of them strung out, knocking down big rocks, and the one in front seemed to be dragging a rope in his hand. When I mentioned to one of their party that they seemed to be going the wrong way, I was asked by the smartass if I knew where I was going (yah, pal, I was on a trail!) and was assured that they knew exactly what was going on. It was hilarious to watch only in the sense that they figured a way off and no one got hurt. Just another exciting weekend in the Tatoosh Range! Go figure! - Dwayner

This whole discussion can be summed up by the strange juxtaposition of both "the walrus" and "Mrs. Robinson": GOO-GOO-KA-JU! - Dwayner

Maybe it was pope's giant schlong! It's so big it has a fiveskin!

Beck, me bucko...Bouldering Beta in Beckey's Guides? Come on! Fred has more class than that. What we're seeing with this bouldering stuff is what has been happening in academia and elsewhere for years. With a feeling that the big and obvious stuff has been accomplished, there is a tendency toward super-specialization. Bouldering, once (for the most part) a form of off-crag exercise and entertainment, is becoming an end in itself. So pretty soon, expect to find special bouldering shoes for dime edges which will be different from those of quarter-size, padded pants for sit starts, and "thrilling" magazines with all the latest HOT! bouldering news, first-hand epic accounts and gossip about the new "stars" and the secrets to their "success". And, of course, lots of great action photos - closeups of crimping fingers attached to bodies with pained, intense faces. (And an alternative 'zine will emerge with the name of "Mosh Pebble" or something similar for those who don't wanna sell out to the ma(i)n(stream).) The mattress-toters probably think they're really on to something by bringing their bouldering pads into the mountains; they might even consider themselves great pioneers. Although they make many of us yawn, what the heck, people have the right to be silly in this country. I just hope these guys look where they're setting those big stupid things they carry on their backs and don't kill too many plants. yawn, Dwayner

Art is the essense of expressing the intangible by means of the physical manifestation of creativity. Classic examples of art recognized by most authorities include a) pictures of your buddies peeing near a mountain goat, b)photos of salamanders "doing it", c) pope's Katie Brown/Lynn Hill scrapbook, and d) Dwayner's opinion on any subject. From my exhaustive study of these broad categories, I find that neither grid bolting nor knitted bouldering rasta-caps qualify. - Dwayner P.S. pope: uh, can I borrow that scrapbook sometime? And...any truth to the widespread rumor that you applied to the Bandeloop Dance troupe?

Mr. Puget: your addition to the discussion has offered nothing other than a weakly comical attempt to ridicule my buddy, pope. You have not addressed the content of the issue which I think he so poetically expressed through metaphor. Stick to the issue at hand and maybe we'll choose to ignore your half-baked attempt at that pseudoscience known as psychoanalysis. aloha, Dwayner

For those of you new to bouldering, may I suggest the following items to be purchased separately or as a package: Your standard bouldering kit should include: some special designer shorts with reinforced and padded butt-panel for those chossy sit-starts; a 14 inch tubular faux-fur-lined chalk bag to reach slightly above the elbow when fully dipped, or alternatively, a dainty little finger-dipper bag for more subtle application; a big ole overpriced folding ho-mattress with shoulder straps or if you're trad, a small piece of muddy shag carpet (now that the "sketch-pads" are becoming commonplace, no one seems to be laughing as much...but I still am...P.S. the emperor has no clothes, right pope?); an assortment of ridiculously overpriced bouldering specific rock shoes or slippers for those egregious slopers and dime edges; a thoroughly modern and hip T-shirt with logo or perhaps something Hawaiian; and less we not forget, a mouth full of "yo's", "flaco's", and "sick!'s" to add verbal flavor to the event. And yes, the knit rasta-hat to demonstrate that you are a member of the clan, "we bouldering! we don't need no ropes...just this big ole folding ho-mattress, that's all, and these special shoes, don't need nothin' more, except for this giant size chalk-bag...don't need no quickdraws, no nothin'...accept for my special costume, apart from that, I don't need nothin' else, 'cept that cooler with my sandwiches and that lawn chair over there...don't need no portaledge or nothin...etc." Dwayner's too busy to sell you the whole mess, but if he could, he wouldn't because the whole thing still sounds GOOFY!!!

Is it just me? Or do other people out there think that bouldering is pretty dang GOOFY? Sure, I've done it, and it was sort of fun...for about five minutes. Fully realizing that climbers are for the most part, in the words of one of the alpine greats, "conquistadores of the useless", bouldering as an end in itself seems to be a bit, well, GOOFY. I give it good marks on the environmental scale if the chalk washes off, but you gotta admit, a bunch of characters walking around with overpriced, glorified mattresses strapped to their backs in pursuit of 15 feet of tiny holds seems to be on the very silly side. Just my opinion; do your own thing, I ain't gonna stop you. Ain't even hunting for spray and don't want no personal attacks. Just want to know: a) do other people think the whole boulder specialist thing is more frivilous than most? (I'm waiting for the new boulder glossy mag's to appear). b) if this is your thing, perhaps you could convince some of us skeptics that this is not absurd? (please don't cite John Gill, "focus", the general pointlessness of climbing in general, or its utility for training for "real climbs", which we're all aware of.) Just want to know, that's all. - aloha, Dwayner, who just wants to know. [This message has been edited by Dwayner (edited 09-14-2001).]

I agree with you Charlie but consider this: And who in the hell would think it's cool to grid bolt the rock? Just a different kind of vandalism? RE: "If those freaks want to camp there instead of at the gorge, they should be more respectfull! Who in the hell would think its cool to spraypaint on the rock!!!?"

They might have shut down the Emmy awards, but the cascadeclimbers pub-club raged on. Attendance was weak, to put it mildly, but it was probably the greatest concentration of alpine-superstars ever to assemble at that booth, in that place, at that time and on that day; surely a moment for the record books. As I glanced around the cavernous Swiss Tavern in Tacoma, uncharacteristically empty for a Tuesday night, I thought I noticed a couple of familiar faces? Could that be...Markey-Mark Wahlberg, star of Boogie Nights and the recently remade sci-fi epic Planet of the Apes? And who's that sitting next to him swapping witty quips and gestures? Was that none other than former front-man for the band Van Halen, David Lee Roth? And the saucy female leaning on David...no, it couldn't be...but maybe...star of stage and screen, Michelle Pfeiffer? On closer inspection, the truth proved better than the suspicion: Fast Eddie, Russ Chandler and Bivinà/Ehmmic were ready and eager to consume adult beverages and babble incessantly. Topics included: peaks, summits, ascents, mountains, and climbing and more importantly, serious talk about the news of the day. Meanwhile, Fast Eddie got up and returned to the table with a block of bread-crumb-infested melted cheese which he consumed himself while Ehmmic dined on delicately sautéed sliced potatos dipped into some sort of voodoo-sauce. Overall, it was a memorable evening and a few cold drinks were in order on a day of true sorrow. You should have been there, but maybe some other time on a happier occasion. - faithfully reported by Dwayner.

Hey Cave dude! Some of us "geezers" in our 40's or beyond are climbing better now than when we were in our 20's. For one thing, the older fellers are often wiser if not smarter. I finesse my way up stuff I used to throw myself at 20 years ago. I watch the weather conditions and other factors much more carefully now because I'm more success-driven. I've got 27 years of experience behind me from which to draw on for decision-making. I'm in better shape because I train smarter and am more motivated. Furthermore, I work for and with a famous explorer who is 87 years old and both physically and mentally very fit and can keep the pace on a mountain hike. And oh yah, my former guiding boss, Jim Donini - he's approaching his mid-50's and is still one of the world's best alpinists and could easily make a random sample of several of us look pretty pathetic. So, maybe you should explore the possibility of climbing more with the "older" climbers. You'll probably learn more from the ones who have been doing it longer and they probably have better stories to tell. Have a nice day, sonny! - Dwayner

Hey you Cascade Climbers! What are you doing sitting around reading this crap for. Go out and find a place to donate blood. Now. We have all been violated and our friends on the east coast will be needing it and they're going to be running out of it fast. So tell the boss (or yourself) you're taking a break and get out there and do some real good. There's not much you can do in situations like this other than to shudder in horror and cry, but donating blood is one way to make a difference. so get out there!! sincerely, and with aloha, Dwayner

Pub Club is on. The more you let these maniacs interfere with your lives, the more they win. There will be a table reserved for cascadeclimbers at the Swiss in Tacoma starting around 6:30. Directions above. Some of us will be drifting in around 8:30. - Dwayner

B.S. Beck, to the contrary: WE COULD ALL USE A BEER. It doesn't have to be festive; it can be a form of consolation and solidarity. I'm going to be there, albeit a bit late. Directions to the Pub are below my P.S. P.S. Be wary of a lot of the rampant and often rash speculation that will appear, especially in the local news reporting. The only fact that we know now is that we don't know much, but that the talking news heads will keep talking. Pub Club Directions in Tacoma: "The Swiss", 1904 S. Yakima Directions coming south on I-5 Take Tacoma City Center Exit, #133 This will take you on a little freeway veering right known as 705 N. Get left and take the S. 21st Street exit. Go through lights and cross Pacific. Go hill on 21st a couple or few blocks until Jefferson. Make a right on Jefferson. The Swiss is just about a block ahead on the left at the corner of Jefferson and 19th. It's really easy to get back to I-5 for the return to Seattlewards. Down Jefferson, left on 21st S., and the big signs will point you in the right direction. You kids comin' from parts south...I know you can figure it out! [This message has been edited by Dwayner (edited 09-11-2001).]

Ain't it Tacoma's turn? How about the Swiss again, because they liked us, the beer was reasonable and the easy access on and off the freeway made it a real crowd-pleaser. How about 7 PM? I'll be late but maybe our usual host Beck, or Eric, or maybe even MattP can be the official greeter. If that's what be decided. I'll post the directions as before. - "Dwayner"

I don't see much of a big distinction between Dan Osman and Alex Lowe. They both made a lifestyle of taking big risks and they both lost and they both left a debris field of sorrow. As much as I love climbing, I recognize it as a somewhat selfish pursuit and I don't see anything heroic about dying that way. - Dwayner

Hey Erikn! Your climbing partners might otherwise be some smart and fun characters, BUT THEY'RE FULL OF CRAP ON THIS ONE! Regarding: "my climbing partners tell me that "right now all the crevasses are open, plus the crevasses on small glaciers are small" so you don't need to worry about them and don't need to rope up." Utter ignorance! Follow that advice regularly and you will end up dead. Every glacier is different and their melting and movement patterns are based on lots of variables. Yes, a lot of crevasses are readily visible this time of year, but you can't second guess the glaciers unless you are down to bare ice. And even then, they can be quite dangerous. Secondly, but no less important. Should you fall into one of these readily detectable crevasses and you are not roped up, you will probably be in BIG trouble and may very well die. Should you need to cross a snowbridge over one of these readily detectable crevasses and it collapses, or jump a crevasse and miss, or bad weather or visibility comes in while you're wandering unroped: same story. So do your pals a favor and ask them to read the basic "Mountaineering: Freedom of the Hills" or that Andy Selters book. It ain't a joke. Stay alive, dude! - Dwayner

Hey Antagonistic One...Do you know what the word "kike" means, pal? It ain't so nice. For those who aren't aware, it's slang that roughly translates as "dirty Jew". It's right up there with the so-called "n" word for black folk. I'm not interested in stifling your free expression, but I'm surprised that this kind of stuff appears on a mountaineering discussion list. Antagonizer...keep on antagonizing if you like, you're doing a good job in that department. Go ahead and use the word "kike" if you choose; I just want to make sure you are aware of what the word means to a lot of people. So how about those sport climbers, anyway? shalom, Dwayner

Beck! I didn't see you mention my personal requirements in your equipment list! They are as follows: - my own air-conditioned trailer stocked with ice-cold Mickey's and several babes; - a personal masseuse; - fresh sushi platters and Mexican appetizers for aprez-top-rope snacking; - a personal chef; - a lazy boy recliner with the availability of several strong young bucks to move it around to suitable locations; - a sound system with an intercom, P.A., and a selection of Frank Zappa c.d.'s. - I'll let you know what else. But seriously folks, I've got some Tiki stuff: a plastic Tiki dude, some Tiki torches, and a California State flag that I will proudly fly in such a place where the locals can't have their way with it. Sign me up for the VIP area, Beck. You'll need a place to park that trailer you're arranging and even if I can't make it, you can use the Tiki stuff. - Dwayner

If you've ever been in the guiding business, you meet all kinds. Some of your clients will brag about all their experience and then you find out they know nothing so I usually assumed they did know nothing and made many decisions accordingly. Anyway, I'd do these courses and we'd just get a list of names with very little idea who might show up or what they'd be like. On one of the first basic rock seminars I taught on my own, I had a guy show up with a big old hunting knife strapped to his leg. It took me twenty minutes to talk him into putting it into his pack while he insisted how useful it might be in a tricky situation. It came out again from time to time, at lunch, etc. and made me and everybody else nervous, in fact, the other clients were privately complaining. The final straw soon arrived. When it's hot outside, you and I might remove that extra shirt. Knife boy dealt with the situation by cutting off the sleaves of his own shirt WHILE HE WAS WEARING IT, creating his own custom version of the classic "wife-beater" T-shirt. Everyone was appalled and that was it. I took him aside and told him it was the knife or the class and he chose the class....and even returned for more later that summer without the knife. Another time I had a student accidentally knock me off a ledge up in Icicle Canyon when I was leaning over to coach his belayee. Caught myself, though..and I ain't gonna let that happen again. Wacky guiding stories? I got loads of them but I've bored you enough, although another guide, working in the Tetons, was essentially class-threeing a class-five pitch as many guides will do and gave firm instructions to his clients that they weren't to pull on or touch the rope while he was leading out. Someone did..they either pulled on it or tripped on it and the guy fell 60 feet to a ledge and spent months in the hospital. I won't drop his name but he was a pretty awesome climber before, and pretty dang good afterwards. Yikes! - Dwayner

Tuesday Pub Club Report: My heart was pounding as the Ericmobile glided to a smooth stop alongside the grassy strip at the edge of the road. Across the street stood the famous Alki Tavern, a place I had read about for so many years in the tabloids: a hang-out for the movers and shakers, celebrities, and those who want to be. We were out of the vehicle no more than ten seconds before Eric pointed out two people heading toward the Tavern entrance. "It's Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves!", I thought excitedly. On closer inspection, I found that I had vastly underestimated the situation. To my delight, it was FAST EDDIE and MATT P. The well-polished Harley's parked in front indicated that Eddie and Matt were just a sample of the alpine excellence that awaited inside. I could name more names (BECK!) but I don't want to be perceived as a celebrity name-dropper (BECK!), let's just say it was a veritable who's who of the mountaineering world. A few people were missing: Warren Harding and Walter Bonatti didn't show; I suspect it was either the late notice for the Pub Club or their planes were late, and a couple of other people were still on expeditions. And it wasn't all dudes, either. Miss Ehmmic represented alpine hardwomen everywhere and the lovely Stephanie brought much class and dignity to the evening. Subjects discussed included: peaks, mountains, summits, crags, climbing, ascents, and much more. There were no punchouts amongst our group but a couple of gentlemen at the bar were starting something between themselves. Seventy-five cent hamburgers complimented the tasty containers of adult beverages. To top off our star-filled gathering, the city of Seattle put on a spectacular fireworks display in our honor. We missed all of you who were not there and look forward to your attendance at a future function. A couple of hot tips: Be prepared to sign lots of autographs for the REI crowd and be polite and stop and smile for the photographers...they're only doing their job!

"God is dead." - Nietzsche "Nietzsche is dead." - God

Hey Beck! Other Pub-Clubbers! Where's the Tuesday night Pub-Fest, Boozin' Time gonna be: I wanna hear about all the climbing that I didn't get to do! How about the U. district again or Ballard? - Dwayner ....