Dwayner

Dru...I don't believe we've met, and I don't believe I've hurled cyber-doo on you yet nor is that my style. I've shown up for these little pub-nights and enjoyed the company of many but apparently not you so far, so before entangling me in your little joke-fests, come on out, suck down a pint or two with me, and afterwards, if you feel I am worthy of great ridicule, you can proceed to behave like some of the other unrestrained spray-monkeys. I'll tell you what, I'd be happy to buy both you and member 1100 a nice pint of delicious Guiness. In the meantime, offer yourself or someone else you actually know as your prize dream date. I can make my own social arrangements. Have a great weekend! aloha, Dwayner

My righteous alpine brother Beck: Could you please provide some detailed directions to this "People's Pub" or other suitable establishment (including an address) and even directions from I-5 if you like. M'man Alpine K's directions were far too confusing for me last time, although I appreciated his efforts which allowed me to visit the outskirts of Edmonds. "People's Pub"...with a name like that, do you need to show your Communist Party membership card at the door, or will they issue you a one-day pass?...I had my fill of that in graduate school! (But if they got an awesome beer selection, they probably aren't real communists, otherwise you'd have to wait in line for an hour to get a sip of whatever one of the comrades manages to dredge up for the evening.) aloha, Dwayner

Ain't we special!!! "Nothing will happen to us. The people who were taken hostage last year, they were just trekkers. We're climbers." And this one's pretty choice... "I was amazed when they came to my hut looking for a telephone. We don't even have electricity up there," as per: http://www.climbing.com/Pages/feature_stories/feature206.html [This message has been edited by Dwayner (edited 08-02-2001).]

Dwayner ain't hostin' nothin, but if Beck wants be the official greeter in Ballard next Tuesday, maybe some of us Tacoma folk will show up. Maybe even pope, just to show that we ain't one and the same. Then maybe Tacoma after that. There's a pattern here: Tacoma, Ballard, Everett, Ballard, Tacoma, Ballard, Everett, Ballard.....because I think most people probably live around Seattle given the turnout from last week, so that's probably a good central locale more of the time. (Dwayner don't wanna host nothin'! Spent too many years organizing club social events for this and that...finally stopped paying membership dues and dropped out!) - Dwayner

The Blue Angels makes most climbers look like total king-size wussies!

And I'll contact pope and Donna Top-Step. Perhaps for entertainment they can re-enact scenes from their triumphant "Cirque Expedition", including the famous missed-toilet-bag in the tent episode. How about that, pope? And then you and Donna can bitch at each other about your odd Katie Brown/Lynn Hill/Chris Sharma fascination. (I've heard it 100 times and it might actually be funny if you two weren't so serious about it.) We'll need a stage, some lights and a big screen video monitor for the close-ups. Beck: you're quite the organizer! You other people...listen to Beck, he's on to something! Also, where's the beer next week? Back in Ballard? ahoy, Dwayner

Can Big Lou be the protagonist?

Words of wisdom from an alpine master whose identity shal remain unknown: "All your base are belong to us." Check it out: http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/AYB2.swf

Who's buyin' the Mickey's?

Prof. Dru: I don't recall seeing you at any of the two pub-thangs I attended so maybe you're Iambone, Dru and Peter Puget rolled up in one. Me AND pope will certainly show up at one of those beer things in the near future when he's done with his gig in Ellensburg in a week. Then you can appear, too, count to two, and see two people. For real! Can't vouch for "Donna". After the crap she's got from this list, I doubt she'll appear, although I'll ask. (She doesn't live around here anymore so that complicates scheduling matters.) Dang! Such skeptics! And you probably don't believe in the Easter Bunny either! - Dwayner

Charles...back off, amigo! Me and pope suggested to our girly friend that she adopt the cyber-name "Donna Top-Step" because she wanted to post stuff on the internet without worrying about spooky dudes. I actually came up with the name myself some time ago for funny purposes and she thought it sounded good. "Donna" whose initials are L.S., ain't so bad. I heard from her yesterday. She's probably been scared away from the crappy replies she's gotten on this board. You laugh, my friend, but if you met her in person, I think you'd be drooling worse than pope used to. So knock off the half-baked speculation and crack open a nice cool quart of Mickey's! aloha, Dwayner

Never climb with your "X"? pope not only climbed with his "X", he took her on his ridiculous "Cirque Expedition" a couple of years ago! (The EX in question be a certain Miss "Donna Top-Step".) If I recall, they had a serious falling-out perhaps two months before the trip but they went anyway. pope, at the time, was thinkin' with his li'l head, the timeless wisdom here being that THE LITTLE HEAD DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN. I've heard both sides of the story and it seems that pope was lookin' for some base-camp booty with his "X" and got rejected BIG-TIME! Donna ain't so bad...I don't know why she's so disliked by the cyberalpinists, she's actually kind of a sweet girl but I guess I should comment on that elsewhere... P.S. Did I mention that she's hot??? Sorry, D. if you're reading this!

"Never climb higher than the summit." "A marmot never soils it's nest", i.e., get your dang skull and crossbones water bottle and your zip-lock bags outta here and do your business outside!

Beer is good...Everett too far...getting thirsty...Everett too far.... Have fun tonight...and a special "you go gurl" to birthday princess Lisa, a "you really kinda fun and interestin'!" to Jules, Dynamite and the (artist?) girl with the short black hair from New York, and a hardy alpine high-five to Beck, Fast Eddie, Matt, Dr. J (who says he ain't gonna be there), Alpine K, Big Lou and my other righteous climbing brothers too numerous to state in my Mickey's-induced lunch-time stupor. With the salutations out of the way, here's the big question: WHERE IT GONNA BE NEXT WEEK? How's about back in Tacoma (where the previous turnout was small [but quality!]) or somewhere in the middle like Ballard again, which might be a fine central location for those in the north and south. You have fun, now. No more flying off bar stools, no punch-outs, and remember to collect your credit cards from the bartender before going home. And let the sober dudes drive or you be having Dr. Jay puttin' stitches in your miserable, achin' butt! aloha! - Dwayner

quote: Originally posted by dane: As far as making climbers look like wussies, HA! who are you to make such a bold claim.] I am "Dwayner" and am entitled to my own opinion. Who the heck are you? quote: You dare to even think to compare this to climbing or climbers, we are nothing alike (although I won't speak for all climbers).] Not intended to be a bold or daring statement, just an opinion, which I stand by. quote: I think you need to think a bit more before you post. When I think of some of the great climbers of past and present, it makes me think all others are mere mortals, including your hero! I thought plenty about it. I've been climbing for almost 3 decades. Guys like Lance Armstrong should be pointed out to climbers as an example of athletic excellence. He's in the news, I'm pointing it out. Have a nice day. - Dwayner

Two words for you, Mr.Puget: Eschew obfuscation. Nothing personal but your posts read like the contract I just signed. Maybe you're a fellow academician in which case you are excused because it is part of your culture. aloha, Dwayner

Why can't some of you people just enjoy the fact that a great athlete pulled off a magnificent triumph? I see this disturbing trend often in mountaineering...lots of distrust and skepticism of other's accomplishments. What does that have to say about the critic? Where's the specific evidence? If I had to go by what I read on this board, I could come up with some pretty dysfunctional speculation about the climbing "community" in general. It used to be that false accusations had serious consequences. I guess that's just not the case anymore? Face it. Lance earned it and is a far better athlete than most of us will ever, ever be, even if we were doped up on super-enhancers. - Dwayner, shakin' his head sideways.

quote: Originally posted by Peter Puget: My sense is that many of the traditions in climbing are as outdated as these two examples. While they may help to connect us with a romantic ideal their continued irrelevancy only contributes to ongoing conflict and controversy. My sense is that Mr. Puget's sense is wrong. What I see having taken place in the last nearly 30 years is a "devolution" of ethics, so to speak. The concept of "clean-climbing" in the early 1970's was actively promoted as an environmentally superior alternative to the thoughtless banging of pins and drilling of bolts. I agree and I see nothing irrelevant about it even though it is now "old" and "traditional". The argument against sport-climbing and grid-bolting WILL continue. - Dwayner, going out to his haul bag now to polish his hex's and stoppers and wash his white painter's pants.

If you watched "Le Tour", on OLN, they had a great commercial. It showed Lance about to get blood sucked out of his arm for a drug test. The voice-over is Lance himself: "People always want to know what I'm on. What am I on? I'm on my bike...six hours a day!" After a variety of scandals, these guys are regularly tested. Suggesting that people are using drugs for athletic enhancement, i.e. cheating, is a very serious accusation. If they find any drug residues in Lance, it's probably residual nasty stuff from large doses of chemotherapy, and not from the banned substances. Give the guy a break! No need to disparage his victory by making that stuff up! - Dwayner

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Lance Armstrong makes most climbers look like total king-size wussies! (For those of you not following the Tour de France, he won his third in a row yesterday, just a few years after being booted off his Euro-team for committing the offence of getting cancer which not only affected his private bits, but had spread to his lungs and brain!) He and his competitors raced in 20 stages, most of which were more than the equivalent of peddling at full speed from Seattle to Leavenworth over Steven's Pass EVERY DAY!!! What's the point? I can grab infinitely more inspiration from a super-strong heroic guy on a bike like that than from a dozen hang-doggin', beta-miming, pre-placed quickdraw clippin', three-week-long rehersin', yogurt-for-dinner suckin', "5.14d" sport-primates. And so can you. Choose your heroes carefully. Very few of mine have much if anything to do with mountaineering but I can draw on their excellence, nonetheless, to encourage me to want to excel in climbing and other pursuits. That's just my opinion, spray-fiends. aloha, Dwayner P.S. Lance Armstrong makes most climbers look like total king-size wussies!

Brother All-Thumbs: Soloing on glaciers is generally foolish. I'm very surprised that some folks here seem to be almost encouraging the practice to someone who claims not to be a climber. Wait until you have one or two or more experienced partners (preferably at least two others at your stage of the game). It doesn't matter how wildly experienced or inexperienced you are, if you punch into a crevasse unroped, there is an excellent chance that it's all over. You'll be famous in 5,000 years when your carcass is discovered by some jackass archaeologist such as myself. Even if some nearby folks happen to see you disappear into the icy depths (and if you're soloing, you can't expect anyone to rescue you - it's a self-reliance thing), you might be dead from the fall, wedged and inextricable, etc. In my opinion, there isn't much of a discussion here. Find some fun buddies who know what to do (including crevasse rescue which you, likewise, should be knowledgable about) and if you can't arrange that this year, the mountain should be there for you next summer. aloha, Dwayner [This message has been edited by Dwayner (edited 07-27-2001).]

Went to beer night Tuesday in Ballard. Highly recommended. Full of celebrities from cascadeclimbers.com...MattP, Alpine K, Lisa, Jules, Dynamite, BECK! and many others, each and everyone a star in my book. (I mean that!) Dang! I thought I was attending the Cyber-Emmy's! I thoroughly enjoyed meeting each and everyone of you and I highly recommend the experience to some of you others. Show up and meet some great new pals! Thanks again for the nice evening, groovy guys and groovy gals! 'hope to see you again soon although Everett be a bit far to drive for us Tacoma denizens! aloha, Dwayner

Any of you studs/studdettes doing RAMROD on Thursday? (it ain't what you think, pope, it's a grueling bicycle challenge . Ride Around Mt. Rainier in One Day). Look out for the Croquet Guy! I'll be running CAMROD again with the croquet mallet between Longmire and Ohanapacosh so don't run me down. If you're a climber, yell "Googookaju" - much better than "did you lose your ball?" to which I will answer, "Ask Lance Armstrong." When you pass my support guy, world-famous So. Cal. climbing dude "Denis Erectus", you may yell at him. Call him Mr. Erectus or variations thereof, or "Sport-climber". He will be seated in a lawn chair reading a book (or trying to chat up tourist-babes) in front of a car waiting for me every few miles to hit a ball through his cleverly placed wickets. If I'm successful, I get some Gatorade and a small snack. Yah, it's a weird thing to do, but it's an annual tradition. So if you're doing RAMROD...have a great ride and no matter what you think, riding that bike is a heck of a lot harder than running with the mallet during my traveling croquet game. See you on the road! - Dwayner

Hey Bolt-Monster! I assume that your post was written with the intent of great sarcasm given your nom de plume and such, but actually, apart from your allusions to profanity and violence, you have poetically summarized much of how I feel when I see grid and retro-bolting. Laugh if you wish. Thank you, Dwayner

Hey! What with that Tuesday beer thang, folks be spoutin' 'bout? Went last week and met some of my righteous alpine bru-tha's. For those who might be interested in such a thing, what's the plan? Some dang deal in Seattle or what? Beck! Aren't you in charge? - Thirsty Dwayner ...dang! noon already! time to head for the 'frigerator and get my breakfast sixer of Mickey's!