texplorer

When life hands you lemons, shove them up a frenchies ass. Hope you guys salvage a trip and watch out for the "russian" routes on mountains.

Well, didn't really know where to post this since there's not an "Other" or "Yosemite" section in TR's. I haven't had much time since coming back from Yos to report but thought some of you might like to hear about how us mortals can do amazing things from time to time. As soon as school let out for summer I headed down to the Mecca of American climbing, Yosemite. I had several goals to try and push my free-climbing grade on some famous yosemite classics but knew that I was not in that great of shape and the temps were getting hot. After being there for a little over a week we I had done several longer classics like the East Butt. of Higher Cathedral, 3rd Pillar of Dana, and the East Butt. of El Cap. These are all excellent routes with classical Yosemite spiciness that I would highly recommend. A friend there wanted to do the Regular route on Half Dome in-a-day but he kinda flaked and I wasn't that motivated to hike up there being that I had already done that route. So, begins this TR. Anytime I take a "big" trip I always try to do a new classic or push my limits a little. Having done 3 long classics was good but I was getting anxious to do something new. One evening, in Camp 4 parking lot, I was spouting my mouth off about how I wanted to climb the Nose of El Cap in a day. It would be almost twice as long as anything I had ever done before "in-a-day" and I hadn't even planned on trying it this season. I guess I shouldn't have opened my mouth cause someone said, "I think Kris is looking for a partner." Well, the climbing community is an interesting web. I had met Kris just a few days earlier, no doubt high on something, in El Cap Meadow. He had just started dating a girl I had met last spring in the valley and climbed Half-dome from Camp 4 to Camp 4 in a day with. As it turned out, Kris had just lead the A5 pitch on the Reticent wall and was looking for someone to go up the Nose. He had the quintessential dirtbag look with torn carhardts and one of those old man style caps with the high brim. On the front of the greasy cap it stated "Beaver Express." Since we were both poaching sites in Camp 4 it took me awhile to find him. Our conversation proceeded as follows. Texplorer: So Kris, I hear you want to do the Nose in-a-day? Kris: Yea, that sounds good, want a King Cobra? Tex: Sip.. .Thanks, so when do you want to go? Kris: Tommorrow lets get ready, and go the next day. Tex: Okay I'll get the rack if you get some topos And so a climbing partner was found. . He was really psyched on the prospect and seemed to be at the least a great aide-climber. It was a really neat feeling to be racking up, filling water bottles, and reviewing the topo just like it was any other long climb. This, however, was not just any other climb. That evening I crawled into my sleeping bag just outside the camp 4 boundary and wondered if we were in for an epic sufferfest, or just another fine day on the rocks. 4:00 I awoke, ate some cereal and dried milk as usual and tried to pinch a loaf to no avail. As we drove through the darkness I could taste the excitement oozing from the edges of my tongue. We left the meadow at about 4:30. I was a dumbass though and went up somewhere other than the start of the route in the predawn darkness. Finally arriving at the base at about 5:00, we roped up. The plan was to lead in blocks and I was to lead the first 4 pitches. After starting up the wrong crack and groveling around above my pro I carefully (and embarrassingly) downclimbed and found the correct start of the route. Two screwups by me had cost us alot of precious cool morning time. My partner later admitted that he was beginning to wonder about my abilities. Anyway, restarting the watch I set off up the route at 5:20 in the morning. The dawn light was just starting to show as I set off up the first pitch. We carried a few bars, bagels and a gallon of water for each of us in a backpack. The rack was a scant set of doubles up to #3 camalot with one 3.5 and one 4. Neither of us had short-fixed before but we both found it remarkably easy. I made it to sickle ledge in about an hour and a half. My partner then took the lead and we smoked through the stovelegs. We simul-climbed some in the stovelegs but made up the most time by short-fixing at every belay. I led the next five up to the top of the boot flake arriving in about 4.5 hours despite having passed 6 parties on the way up (including a few CC.comer's). I had read somewhere that if possible you should not clip the one bolt behind the Texas flake so that you can flip the rope out of the chimney for easy jugging for your second. I am no stranger to soloing, and thought that I should be able to do a 5.8 chimney no problem but I must stay that being 70ft runnout is quite exhilarating experience way up there. Short-fixing again, I headed up to the base of the boot flake where I left the rack. Taking just a #1,2, and 3 camalots I aided/french-freed up leaving no pro on the boot so Kris could just climb, retrieve the rack, and swing directly over. After the King swing we started to slow down due to the heat, exhaustion, and the increased technical and physical difficulty of the climbing. Somewhere in here, his girlfriend flashed her tits to us from over on some route to the left of the nose. Kris did an awesome job backcleaning the entire pitch after the King swing and continuing up. He polished the great roof off pretty quickly and it was my turn to lead again. My last block conisisted of the 5 pitches from the top of the great roof to camp 6. Just after the king swing my biceps were starting to cramp and just jugging had become laborious. I did free the pancake flake but was exhausted. The next pitch is my most hated pitch on the whole climb. Its not so hard as it is awkward. A deep flaring crack that sucks your aiders in. I had flashbacks of the fall when I was leading that infernal pitch by headlamp at 10:30 at night. The next few pitches are haze. On the last pitch of my lead I was feeling nauseated and forced myself to keep going. I remember placing pieces and just hanging there in the blazing sun in a stupor before pulling up and going again. I remember running it out free climbing the last 25 feet or so up to camp 6 and having a sort of "I don't care if I fall" attitude. With trembling arms however I pulled onto the ledge and just layed there on the piss smelling ledge in a dehydrated and exhausting shock. When my partner arrived he pointed out that someone had ditched water there on the ledge. I hadn't even noticed the bottles until then but made quick work of an entire two liter and started to return to the land of the living. Now all I had to do was jug to the top! Amazingly I starting feeling much better and by the time we reached the top I felt totally normal again (except for the cramping biceps). We topped out in about 15.5 hours and made it down the east ledges in the daylight. On the way down we met the Huber brothers and their groupies atop Zodiac, which they had recently speed climbed in less than 3 hours. Alex was clearly lit as he swaggered getting up and pronounced, "No more biers, no more cigarrettes. . . ." Looking back now I have to say it was hard but much easier than hauling a bag up that thing the way Brad and I did in the fall. I didn't climb much the rest of trip due to an injury I somehow did on the climb on the extensors of my wrist but I didn't care. Climbing the Nose is a big deal but you don't have to be a superstar to get up that thing -even in a day. There is nothing like pushing it to the edge, being dehydrated in total misery, climbing classic pitches on a classic route, seeing tits 2000ft off the deck, and coming back to tell about it. I guess when I started climbing I always thought if I could do. . . . .(fill in the blank).. . .I would be a "climber." Over the years that (blank) has changed over and over again. I remember when it was to lead a 5.10, .11, .12 sport climb, boulder with the hardcore guys at the gym, or lead my first trad .10, .11, .12. Well, now I am a climber (even though I can't pull V7). You can all spray me to hell now but I'll be looking for partners for more walls this next fall. . . . .anyone up for tangerine trip in a push?

Is MaryLou really Agent Orange??

Asthma varies from person to person but the individual will usually be able to tell you how much they can handle and when an attack is coming on. I had asthma pretty bad as a child requiring an injection once a week. It lessened for me as I got older and I was able to run Cross Country and Track pretty successfully in college. For most people with asthma I think climbing is not too hard on them just make sure they take an inhaler like albuterol with them in case they have an attack.

I still haven't found any places that serve TexMex as good as in the Lone Star State. Of course we didn't have any 3000ft granit walls there either. 2nd Dru on the redmond gas station.

I have the same "Nude Lady" sticker on my helmet except Lucky Lady has stars and stripes on her.

yep rbw Free For Some is a great one! Squamish: Exasperator Crime of the century Yorkshire Gripper Smith: Sunshine Dihedral Rising Expectations Kunza's Corner Damn, can't remember the name of another one in the gorge that is .10c and has bomber fingerlocks the whole way.-maybe Quasar? Indian Creek: Dos Hermanos I thought the Nose of Jello Tower was pretty fun too.

Just another side note is that normally breath per minute rate increases initially upon moving to higher alts and your body also responds physiologically by taking larger breaths to compensate for its loss of O2

and squamish teenagers. . .

Full Heinous on trad gear.

Nope, when you crucify someone they usually die of asphixiation and if that doesn't get them blood loss from being stabbed with a spear probably would get ya.

Don't be fooled by Dr. Koresh Amazing's words. What has happened is that our temples have been defiled with bolts and striped lycra. The major trends have strayed from the true path. It is time for a reformation, friends, back to the true values of our religion and not what the lycraheads have led you to believe.

Do we? I thought some people here were just boulderers.

Harleys are aid.

what is that one kid reaching for in Jesus's tunic?

Maybe the Messiah will show up at the rope-up and turn Heffe into good beer.

Is Beck going to be there. I like his tunes but I didn't know he was so into climbing.

Soloing is like drugs. Some people will ridicule and curse you for doing it whilst others will take you into their fold. Be careful however, we all know what happens when you OD. Take care and have fun. I guess I can't really say what's the best to solosince I've only been to Squish twice. I've only gone solo on a few things up at the Octopus, the Zip, and I think the pixie corner. All were alot of fun though. Tata for now-

MaryK, You either have a pinched nerve or somehow cut off circulation to your toes for a period. Either way feeling will most likely return. Even in surgerys where nerves are cut they grow back at about an inch per month. Good luck-

No aid doesn't require any free climbing skills at all. You only need to be able to place gear. Bouldering and sport climbing are more about the free climbing skills and little if any skill is needed with gear placement. Trad climbing requires both free climbing and gear placement simultaneously. So you would say that is just as easy as the other two? I agree that gear placement is not rocket science but ask Anna how easy it is while climbing. Climbing a V7 is very difficult and I am impressed seeing people accomplish such feats. The only reason I give trad climbing a higher status is because one must master multiple skills to be able to climb at the same level. I will probably never climb a V7 but I can say that I think when Thomas Huber pulls a V7 crux 1000ft off the deck runnout on RP's that its a more impressive feat. I'll speak more about this in a minute. No, I don't know where you get this. If you really want to make things simple. Here you go Bouldering- 1chalk, 2climb up, chalk, climb, up-chalk twice, dyno Sport Climbing- 1Chalk, 2climb up, 3clip draw, 4clip rope 5repeat Aid- 1place piece, 2climb up aider, 3place piece, 4repeat Trad- 1chalk up, 2climb up, 3 select size piece 4place piece, 5 clip rope, 6 repeat All very simple but which one has more steps involved? I was speaking of people staight off the couch that have NEVER climbed before. I saw a guy on his first day climbing ever climb a .11 with no falls. I have never seen a person on their first day climb a .9 crack. Why do you think people don't get on cracks more on TR. Maybe cause its harder. . .hmmmm. . . I agree. I did not say that I thought other forms of climbing are illegitimate forms of climbing. In fact I insinuated that they are legitimate endeavors as I stated that I participate in them as well. I choose trad (not only single pitch shit either) because I find it the most mentally stimulating. If you don't agree that is fine. I have fun joking about sportos and boulderers and the stereotypes associated with them and even laugh when you make jokes about us "Elitist Tradsters." After all if there weren't you guys we wouldn't have anyone to think we are better than. "Tell that bitch to CHILL!!! Chill honeybunny!" -Pulp Fiction

I will most likely be at the rope up even if it is corporately sponsored at the trailhead. . . .and I'm a dirtbag so I'll take any free-bees that they give away as well. The rope-up is my one chance per year to chestbeat to my washington friends all the lame things I have been up to. I'm don't really care who sponsors it as long as it is still for real climbers or real facsimiles thereof.

Maybe we should have the anti-corporate rope-up at the base of Prussik Peak. That way anyone that gets there will be a climber or at least have enough ability to hike their asses 10 miles uphill for a taste of that sweet TG stout. We could avoid the Tool and have a snafflehound cook-off.

I'm sorry dude, but if you don't think bouldering and sport climbing are legitimate forms of climbing, you are full of shit. I will not argue about this, because it is just ridiculous. It really saddens me to see anybody take that stance. I did not say the quote. It is, as I credited it, from Yvon Chouinard -the guy that started black diamond and patagonia and is only one of the most influential climbers ever. The entire quote, which would not entirely fit in the signature box, includes that Yvon thinks that they are not legitmate forms of climbing because they do not contain the risk involved in his definition of climbing. I believe the quote is in the latest isssue of one of the Climb-porn mags if you want to read it for yourself. I personally regard sport climbing and bouldering as forms of our modern definition of climbing but I do eschew a higher status to other forms of climbing due to inherent and unavoidable risks and increased complexity encompassed in them. I am not a trad-elitist, but I get irritated when people claim that bouldering and sport climbing are, on the average, as difficult as trad climbing. Physically I believe they are as or more demanding than a corresponding trad or aid climb but they are much more simple since you are mainly dealing with climbing and don't have to worry about gear. With trad climbing there are the added tasks of hanging whilst placing gear, having to decide when and where to place gear to protect yourself, and accounting for other factors such as rope management through pieces so as not to zipper gear etc. I have seen beginners TR sport .511s with no falls but have yet to see one make it up a true 5.9 handcrack without many hangs. So I guess it depends on how you define climbing. Chouinard obviously believes that climbing is more than moving your body up the rock. I can't say for him for sure but I would guess that his definition requires that a certain level of danger is mandatory as well as a mastery of equipment and techniques inherent with traditional climbing. In his day there was no sport climbing and bouldering was considered training just as working out at a gym. I don't know if I agree that with him that they are not forms of climbing. Bouldering and sport climbing are, by the modern definition the sport, climbing, but they are very different from trad climbing. However, if trad climbing was the original form of "climbing," and they are not trad then you could say they are not climbing. The Texplorer participates in Sport, Trad, Aid, Ice, Alpine, Chossgroveling, Soloing, Mountaineering, and Indoor Bouldering. He finds all these endeavors fun and challenging but very different in style and complexity. He respects people skilled of all the aforementioned disciplines and enjoys being involved with all sports which involve ascension throughout that range. The Texplorer enjoys clean, vertical, unbolted, splitter granite cracks that go for 100's to 1000's of feet. He is glad everyone doesn't like climbing those cracks for whatever reason so as to have them to himself and the select few others like himself. The Texplorer wishes you all happy "climbing" even if your sport isn't really "climbing."

Read my signature.

I hear Godzilla is a fun 5.9?