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Spanking your child doesn't work the way you want.


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Posted
it has nothing to do with singular, it has to do with context and verb moods -- i.e. subjunctive vs. indicative verbs, etc. In this case, "were" would be the subjunctive mood of the verb "to be" and is appropriate for cases in which you are referring to something that's not likely to be true, reminiscing, etc.

 

I.E. "I wish I were a rich man" vs "Yesterday, I was rich" -- "was" is the indicative mood of the verb and is appropriate for things that are true, or likely to be true in hypothetical situations.

 

Doesn't anybody know English anymore???

 

Now, if teaching a class on spanking is something you are likely to do, then perhaps "was" is appropriate :P

 

More paddle action for you for showing up the headmistress ... little snot.

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Posted
What's worse is you have Dru humping your left leg and j_b your right. ;-)

Don't you know anything? j_b would never hump the right leg... :whistle:

:lmao: 8D :fahq:

 

and all i wanted was a group hug

Posted

This move away from spanking is one of many reasons we're becoming a nation of nancys. 50 years ago, an 18 year old was a man. Today, in the age of don't swat your kid/everyone gets a trophy, it's normal to be living at home at 26 - paying more attention to video games and your newest iwhatever than your responsibilities.

 

The trouble with spanking is when it's not coupled with love/support. If you just beat your kid, and that's it, you're a failure as a parent. If you use it appropriately, and show them with words/actions they are loved and supported, your kids turn out relatively fine. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule on results, but the general trend is there. Opponents of spanking usually got it REALLY bad with none of the good parenting.

Posted

 

The trouble with spanking is when it's not coupled with love/support.

 

FAIL!!!

 

 

The trouble with spanking is it shows your child that to solve a problem you use violence.

Posted

 

The trouble with spanking is when it's not coupled with love/support.

 

FAIL!!!

 

 

The trouble with spanking is it shows your child that to solve a problem you use violence.

 

You rule, Kevbone. Nobody says FAIL anymore. On a serious note, you're oversimplifying. You don't solve every problem with violence, you solve some of them with violence. Welcome to reality.

 

Posted

You don't solve every problem with violence, you solve some of them with violence. Welcome to reality.

X2 - i hope i do a good and consistent job of showing my kids i love them, and i make a point to say it every time i'm angry and/or unhappy w/ what they're doing - i don't use physical force w/ my kids often, but goddammit, nothing makes the point more clear and more quickly than a laying on of hands, and i can't play patient fucking teacher all day/every day :)

 

my general rule of thumb, which i think works, is don't do anything more berserker crazy than my dad did, which is setting the bar rather low :)

 

violence is usually not all of a solution, but is frequently an important part of it - found some mice living in my house recently - there was both a violent and a non-violent course of action, and i used them both :grin:

Posted

 

The trouble with spanking is when it's not coupled with love/support.

 

FAIL!!!

 

 

The trouble with spanking is it shows your child that to solve a problem you use violence.

 

Every kid's different. With mine it was important that they understood that I would use force when I felt it was necessary. As a last resort it was used. Respect, effective communication, love, always first...

 

Between the two of them, three spankings total. The boy got two, he was the hard head (got that from his Mother)...

 

They gotta know you'll do it, and that you don't want to.

 

d

Posted

Studies on the negative affects of hitting don't differentiate between those who do it with love and those who do it with anger. The results are quite clear, it doesn't matter what thoughts are in your head, it doesn't work.

Posted

Pete, I wish more people would see it your way.

 

I've always figured that hitting kids just teaches them that bigger and stronger people get to make the rules, and mostly exhibits a failure of imagination on the part of the parents. Not that children can't offer an infuriating level of frustration, but that's one of the advantages of having two parents - you can pass off the situation to your partner when you know you need to step away.

 

Non violent coercion? Are you kidding me? That's the tools you need, with a fulcrum and a long enough lever I've found you can move a child. Of course, the result is that my kids are fully capable of making their own case for things, and don't tend to just accept authority because someone bigger says so. That's what happens when you teach children that their opinion matters.

 

Anyway, its worked well for me, my children are now adults and the transition from dependence to independent peers has been full of joy. They're some of my favorite people on the planet.

Posted

 

The trouble with spanking is when it's not coupled with love/support.

 

FAIL!!!

 

 

The trouble with spanking is it shows your child that to solve a problem you use violence.

 

You rule, Kevbone. Nobody says FAIL anymore. On a serious note, you're oversimplifying. You don't solve every problem with violence, you solve some of them with violence. Welcome to reality.

 

Good post man. Oh, and screw off Kev...

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I have to admit, kids bug the shit out of me. And although I respect a parents right to try and reason with a two year old rather than swat them on the butt, I sure as hell wish that dragging a screaming child who throwing a temper tantrum in a public place was de rigeur.

 

Anybody else ever notice that while in foreign countries ya don't hear the screaming kids thing?

 

I swear that kids have become the center of the universe here in the American family (abused and neglected kids are obviously not included in this statement)? It throws things out of balance. It's not healthy and it is draining the lifeforce out of all the poor people who are just trying their best. But when their kids come in the room and flat out interrupt a conversation, I want to slap the little turds myself. I mean, you got to earn the right to talk like an asshole - you don't just get to do it because you are under 30. Or 40. Not sure what the cutoff is...

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