Dwayner Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 YOUR ETHOS YOUR PATHOS YOUR PORTHOS YOUR ARAMIS YOUR BRUT COLOGNE YOU'RE WRITING HOME YOU ARE HOPELESS YOUR HOPELESSNESS IS RISING AROUND YOU, RISING AROUND YOU YOU LIKE IT IT GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO DO IN THE DAY TIME HEY BUDDY, YOU NEED A HOBBY YOU ARE TIRED OF MOVING FORWARD YOU THINK OF THE FUTURE AND SECRETLY YOU PIDDLE YOUR PANTS THE PUDDLE OF PIDDLE WHICH USED TO BE LITTLE IS RISING AROUND YOU, RISING AROUND YOU YOU LIKE IT IT GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO DO IN THE NIGHT TIME WELL, YOU TRAVEL TO BARS YOU ALSO GO TO WINCHELL'S DOUGHNUTS AND HANG OUT WITH THE HIGHWAY PATROL SOMETIMES YOU'LL GO TO A PIZZA PLACE YOU GO TO SHAKEY'S TO GET THAT AMERICAN KIND OF PIZZA THAT HAS THE UGLY, WAXEY, FAKE YELLOW KIND OF CHEESE ON THE TOP... THEN YOU GO TO STRAW HAT PIZZA, TO GET ALL THOSE ARTIFICIAL INGREDIENTS THAT NEVER BELONGED ON A PIZZA IN THE FIRST PLACE (BUT THE WHITE PEOPLE REALLY LIKE IT...) OH WELL, YOU'LL GO ANYPLACE, YOU'LL DO ANYTHING OH YOU'LL GIVE ME YOUR UNDERPANTS I HOPE THESE AREN'T YOURS, BUDDY... THEY'RE VERY NICE, THOUGH YOU GO TO SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD, YOU GO TO THE BLUE PARROT NO PROBLEM, YOU'LL GO ANYPLACE YOU'LL DO ANYTHING JUST SO YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH THE OTHERS THE OTHERS JUST LIKE YOU AFRAID OF THE FUTURE (DEATH VALLEY DAYS, STRAIGHT AHEAD) THE FUTURE IS SCARY YES IT SURE IS WELL, THE PUDDLE IS RISING IT SMELLS LIKE THE OCEAN A BODY OF WATER TO ISOLATE ENGLAND AND ALSO RESEDA THE OIL, IN PATCHES ALL OVER ATLANTIS, ATLANTIS YOU REMEMBER ATLANTIS DONOVAN, THE GUY WITH THE BROCADE COAT, USED TO SING TO YOU ABOUT ATLANTIS YOU LOVED IT, YOU WERE SO INVOLVED THEN THAT'S BACK IN THE DAYS WHEN YOU USED TO SMOKE A BANANA YOU WOULD SCRAPE THE STUFF OFF THE MIDDLE YOU WOULD SMOKE IT YOU EVEN THOUGHT YOU WAS GETTING RIPPED FROM IT NO PROBLEM AH! ATLANTIS, THEY COULD REALLY GET DOWN THERE THE PLANKTON, THE KRILL THE GIANT UNDERWATER PYRAMID, THE SQUID DECOR EXCUSE ME, TODD THE BIG OL' GIANT UNDERWATER DOOR THE DOME, THE BUBBLES, THE BLUE LIGHT LIGHT, LIGHT, LIGHT, LIGHT BLUE LIGHT BLUE LIGHT THE SEEPAGE, THE SEWAGE, THE RUBBERS, THE NAPKINS YOUR ETHOS, YOUR PATHOS, YOUR FLAG HOLE, YOUR PORT-HOLE YOUR LANGUAGE YOU'RE FRIGHTENED THE FUTURE YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEAK YOUR OWN F*%$ING LANGUAGE YOU CAN'T READ IT ANYMORE YOU CAN'T WRITE IT ANYMORE YOUR LANGUAGE THE FUTURE OF YOUR LANGUAGE YOUR MEAT LOAF DON'T LET YOUR MEAT LOAF HEH, HEH, HEH YOUR MICRO-NANETTE YOUR BRUT COLOGNE "Take That! Touché! Ah-ha! The Knights of Sir Lou require NOT quickdraws! Relenquish thy foolish pursuit, sporty-knave!!!" [And thanks to Mr. F.Z. for the fine poetry. And some anonymous guy on the internet for the fine images.] [ 08-30-2002, 09:26 AM: Message edited by: Dwayner ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Dwayner: THE OTHERS JUST LIKE YOU AFRAID OF THE FUTURE (DEATH VALLEY DAYS, STRAIGHT AHEAD) THE FUTURE IS SCARY YES IT SURE IS ... ...YOU REMEMBER ATLANTIS DONOVAN, THE GUY WITH THE BROCADE COAT, USED TO SING TO YOU ABOUT ATLANTIS YOU LOVED IT, YOU WERE SO INVOLVED THEN THAT'S BACK IN THE DAYS WHEN YOU USED TO SMOKE A BANANA YOU WOULD SCRAPE THE STUFF OFF THE MIDDLE YOU WOULD SMOKE IT YOU EVEN THOUGHT YOU WAS GETTING RIPPED FROM IT NO PROBLEM I dunno Dwayner, I guess I don't see the connection, but then again I wasn't listening to the song whilst stoking the angst. It certainly seems like he's singing about people your and my age, and being afraid of the future is more a trad-only thing than a sporto obsession. I'm not trying to wax your beard buddy, I just don't get it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 dwayner, more big lou pics dude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapertimmy Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 ohhh speaking of which, my dad got to attend a motivational seminar conducted by the one and only big Jim. apparently there is autograhped copy of his autobio made out to yours truly. i will cherish it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted August 30, 2002 Author Share Posted August 30, 2002 "Waxing my beard?????" I don't know what that means but I have heard that the words Ko-Ka Ko-la means "Bite the wax tadpole" in Chinese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Off_White Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 I was practicing the ancient art of automatic writing: my fingers move and something is written. Perhaps I'm worried about the future of my language. Being a moral relativist, you have my permission for it to mean whatever you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 Dwayneage ditch, you're a collossal wank, no two ways about it, bub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 No man, he's just misunderstood and complex. So was Poe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thelawgoddess Posted August 30, 2002 Share Posted August 30, 2002 i beg to differ!!! about the sport climbing i mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayB Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 Niiiice. This baby's a close second to the "Sauna Sausage" T.R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offwidthclimber Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 jesus dwayner... that was, well, nothing short of strange and stupid. disconnect from the internet, shut off your monitor, crack open a cold mickey's and do something else for a while, my friend. that radiation from the glowing screen must be scrambling your brain cells! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 No, he's actually pretty easily understood and straightforward. Uptight egotistical anachronism with unchecked spray problem. You just weren't looking at the situation from the right perspective. Dr. Flash Amazing faces E/SE, which is a fine perspective for seeing things as they really are. Give it a shot, you'll see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizard_brain Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 Sport climbing is almost as boring as Dwayner's posts. [ 08-30-2002, 12:33 PM: Message edited by: lizard brain ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 I enjoyed Dwayner's post although it was a little long. The connection is there: The young Dave Grohl fears life and craves attention and a place to belong. Sport climbing is a soft option to solving his problems. There are few big dangers, no approaches or real work involved, but you still get something to do on your days off and you can be a part of the "climbing community". He buys a membership at a gym, goes to Vantage or the Exits on the weekend and is born again,...until he sees Dwayner's post on his favorite online site. I give it a 5.10b for art/spoken word on an internet site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pope Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 The connection between Dwayner's offering and unSPORTing CLIMBING is not as tenuous as some of you suggest. If I'm not mistaking, the first photo is Christian Griffith as he appeared in his high school annual. The drivel that follows is the unabridged version of his "sport climbers' manifesto". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 Ahh, the wise Pope steps out of the mists to solve all important mysteries, if I'm not mistaking. That's a pretty sick (in a bad, non-bouldering sense) manifesto for climbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleblebleb Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 Get a life Whiner. You too Poop. You're hardly succeeding in reducing the numbers of sport climbers, although you may successfully scare away some kids who might otherwise use the board to carry out some fun conversations about sport routes and stuff. There is nothing wrong with sportos. If you don't want to sport climb, then go ahead and don't sport climb. Just leave the rest of us alone to make our own choices for crying out loud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 I'd like to become more involved in sport fucking. Is this the right bbs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retrosaurus Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 No. I believe you are looking for the Mountinsteers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary_Yngve Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 quote: Originally posted by fleblebleb: There is nothing wrong with sportos. If you don't want to sport climb, then go ahead and don't sport climb . Just leave the rest of us alone to make our own choices for crying out loud. Well, sport climbing is like masturbating... you don't really need to worry about protection, but you miss out on such foreplay as the bushwhack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thelawgoddess Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 i love sport climbing. and who says foreplay is out when masturbating? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 31, 2002 Share Posted August 31, 2002 what's foreplay? is that a golf term? is this forplay? [ 08-31-2002, 04:17 PM: Message edited by: Heywood Jablowme ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleblebleb Posted September 1, 2002 Share Posted September 1, 2002 There is jolly good bushwhacking right next to many WA sport climbing areas. Feel free to hop right in. Or you can do like a buddy of yours who bushwhacks through Ravenna Park on the way to school, apparently for fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwayner Posted September 1, 2002 Author Share Posted September 1, 2002 flefleflefle wrote: "...you may successfully scare away some kids who might otherwise use the board to carry out some fun conversations about sport routes and stuff." So my annoying posts are going to scare the kids away????? Not the rampant comments about equine reproductive organs, flame wars crossing the line from cruel to heartless, vulgar jokes you'd be embarrased to tell in a bar??? Get real, amigo! "There is nothing wrong with sportos. If you don't want to sport climb, then go ahead and don't sport climb." I'll TRY not to. "Just leave the rest of us alone to make our own choices for crying out loud." Dude! Who is stopping you from making choices or doing anything else? What! You wish to stifle my free-expression; my right to share my opinion? Leave "us" alone? How 'bout this....if you don't want to read my drivel, then when you see "Dwayner" as the author of the post, scroll on by. Rock on, Icelandic brother! - Dwayner [ 08-31-2002, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Dwayner ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allison Posted September 1, 2002 Share Posted September 1, 2002 So it seems that it's OK to be a sport climber if you are from an exotic place. Dwayner. I'm from Puyallup, though I was born in boring old Seattle. Puyallup has been mispronounced by many famous people. Does that count? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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