Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
Use diesel fuel to 1) draw a giant pentagram and 2) Write "Slayer Rules" on his asphalt driveway. Next, light the fuel and enjoy the spectacle, which will have lasting effect, in that the diesel will dissolve the oil out of the asphalt, leaving a permanent pentagram and "Slayer Rules" statement on his driveway for all good Christians to admire.
3) Retain the best lawyer available for the "hate crime" charges that will surely follow...
  • Replies 44
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted
Use diesel fuel to 1) draw a giant pentagram and 2) Write "Slayer Rules" on his asphalt driveway. Next, light the fuel and enjoy the spectacle

 

Don't forget the beer and lawn chairs... :rawk:

Posted
Use diesel fuel to 1) draw a giant pentagram and 2) Write "Slayer Rules" on his asphalt driveway. Next, light the fuel and enjoy the spectacle, which will have lasting effect, in that the diesel will dissolve the oil out of the asphalt, leaving a permanent pentagram and "Slayer Rules" statement on his driveway for all good Christians to admire.
3) Retain the best lawyer available for the "hate crime" charges that will surely follow...

 

Since when is expressing a person's love for Slayer on another person's driveway, in the form of a flaming pentagram, a Hate Crime? What kind of world do we live in?

Posted

Bring him cookies.

Rake your leaves (they are really good mulch for your garden).

Kill him with kindness.

Invite him to Christmas dinner.

Give him a nice wool hat.

 

If he does not respond appropriately, descend to his level with a vengance.

 

Posted

All of the confrontational suggestions above would end in mediation of some kind.

The winner of said mediation would be the one one who first displayed reasonable behavior and a clear attempt to reach a workable compromise.

From then on, anything goes.

Posted
All of the confrontational suggestions above would end in mediation of some kind. The winner of said mediation would be the one one who first displayed reasonable behavior and a clear attempt to reach a workable compromise.

From then on, anything goes.

 

...and the loser goes off and rakes the leaves. So just rake the leaves, save yourself all that trouble and don't worry over it.

 

I once got sued for my leaves. Seems my huge-assed Cherry tree was sending leaves over to the neighbors house. It clogged her gutters which then caused her basement to flood. My fault she said. She came over and ragged on me more than once but my position stayed the same. I was polite and tried to get along. I said that despite the fact that I liked it, I understood that it troubled her and she was free to totally cut the tree down into a stump, trim the tree, or just ignore it: but that I liked it as is and wasn't going to be troubled or pay for something which I didn't think was the best for me or the tree in either case. Yet I would allow her to do so if it troubled her that much.

 

She sued me in a court of law. Yes she did.

 

She lost.

 

Cunt.

 

It was then on like Donkey Kong and she payed like no one will ever know until she just gave up and moved out. On the tree front: I immediately decided that since she was such a bitch, I'd just change my mind, and told her she couldn't touch my tree and why. I then fertilized it so it would grow and substantially leaf out.

 

Bitch....she never once thanked me for contributing to the swimming pool in her basement before she moved out....turns out that she didn't like the junkies I rented too after the nice folks moved out. Said they kept breaking into her house and ripping her off. Of course I paid as well, once she was gone, I had to toss them, and they left a mess that caused one of the clean up crew I hired to help me clean up to vomit....along with over 500 needles in the basement. My boy still remembers how shocking that whole scene was. I'm all like "look dude, doing heroin will make you vomit, and you're too high to clean it up, that's what you are looking at. ...that and pee stained mattresses all over the basement with needles everywhere".

 

Posted

Bitch....she never once thanked me for contributing to the swimming pool in her basement before she moved out....turns out that she didn't like the junkies I rented too after the nice folks moved out. Said they kept breaking into her house and ripping her off. Of course I paid as well, once she was gone, I had to toss them, and they left a mess that caused one of the clean up crew I hired to help me clean up to vomit....along with over 500 needles in the basement. My boy still remembers how shocking that whole scene was. I'm all like "look dude, doing heroin will make you vomit, and you're too high to clean it up, that's what you are looking at. ...that and pee stained mattresses all over the basement with needles everywhere".

 

You rented a house to JosepH?

Posted

They were rock and roll musicians who needed a large house for the entire band and a place to practice. Just out of winning a frivolous lawsuit, I decided it would be a good time to celebrate by supporting the arts....I didn't know that they were heroin addicts till later.

 

...the interesting part, is that had she been just a little nicer, I'd have gladly cleaned her gutters, and eventually when I found time, I would have trimmed up the tree or made it happen. 2 paths, so divergent.

Posted

I can just see it Bill...

 

So, what is the standard etiquette for being a good neighbor in these leaf fall-outs? I was raking leaves from my yard the other day and reaching over to my neighbors yard and pulling them back into my yard. (We need the leaves for composting our new raised beds.) The leaves are falling off my tree and most of them blow into his backyard. We have no fence between the lots so I can easily rake his leaves up too. I did not want to rake his whole yard without his permission though and they have been out of town for a week or so. You'd think they would not look a gift horse in the mouth but you never know. It became a mute point when my rake broke and I decided to go climb instead wasting my time raking the neighbors yard. I'd guess the protocol, if there were to be any, would vary a lot by geography. Seems all you city folk get uptight much quicker than those out in the sticks. Then again, plenty of whacko red-necks in the sticks, too.

Posted
shut the fuck up
You must be one of those uptight city folk I was referring to.

 

I'm the dude in boxers with a beer yelling obscenities at everyone

Thanks for pointing out the obvious.
Posted
shut the fuck up
You must be one of those uptight city folk I was referring to.

 

I'm the dude in boxers with a beer yelling obscenities at everyone

Thanks for pointing out the obvious.

 

I get it. Country folk wear briefs?

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...