Another unemployed soon.

[Bug]

George may go down with the worst record ever for a president.

This person needs a job. This individual seeks an executive position.

He will be available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate.

(Please don't skip the last section!)

 

RESUME

 

GEORGE W. BUSH

 

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

 

Washington , DC 20520

 

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

 

Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

 

Military:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam .

 

College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

 

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

 

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

 

I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

 

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

 

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas .

 

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS :

 

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power a nd oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America .

 

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

 

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

 

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States , after losing by over 500,000 votes.

 

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

 

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

 

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

 

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

 

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit i n U.S. history.

 

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

 

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

 

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

 

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

 

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

 

I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

 

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

 

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

 

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

 

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

 

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convict ed criminals to be awarded government contracts.

 

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

 

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

 

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

 

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

 

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

 

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

 

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

 

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

 

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

 

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

 

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

 

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

 

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

 

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

 

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

 

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

 

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

 

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

 

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

 

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

 

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

 

 

[Dechristo]

feel better now?

[Jim]

Spunk? Do you mean defiance in the face of fact? Pig-headedness is an admirable trait in a linebacker, not a president.

[Bug]

feel better now?

No.

I feel worse as each day goes by and he is still president.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

feel better now?

No.

I feel worse as each day goes by and he is still president.

 

pessimist

[Dechristo]

feel better now?

No.

I feel worse as each day goes by and he is still president.

 

pessimist

 

In this case, it might be spelled "pissymist".

[Fairweather]

I like you Bug, but you show yourself to be yet another Kool Aid drinker by posting mostly-unsubstantiated drivel like this. BTW; it was a C+ average at Yale...and you left out his Master's Degree at Harvard. Of course GWB didn't need PELL Grants, but I'm sure he wouldn't have gone out and spent his on a new rope every year.

[Hugh Conway]

but I'm sure he wouldn't have gone out and spent his on a new rope every year.

 

No he was a fan of Beer, Bourbon, B&B and Bolivian Cocaine.

[Fairweather]

but I'm sure he wouldn't have gone out and spent his on a new rope every year.

 

No he was a fan of Beer, Bourbon, B&B and Bolivian Cocaine.

 

Yes, of course. Will you be holding Obama to these same high moral standards?

[AlpineK]

All I have to say is the elder Bush actually served in the military for real. Our current presidents military record is a joke.

 

That's ok. He'll be gone in less than 1 year.

[Hugh Conway]

Yes, of course. Will you be holding Obama to these same high moral standards?

 

Last I looked Obama has admitted to hard drug use unlike W

[KaskadskyjKozak]

but I'm sure he wouldn't have gone out and spent his on a new rope every year.

 

No he was a fan of Beer, Bourbon, B&B and Bolivian Cocaine.

 

and you aren't?

[KaskadskyjKozak]

All I have to say is the elder Bush actually served in the military for real. Our current presidents military record is a joke.

 

That's ok. He'll be gone in less than 1 year.

 

by that standard you must be for McCain in '08, yes?

[AlpineK]

As things currently stand I like Obama, but I wouldn't be bothered if McCain got into office.

[ZimZam]

"Our current presidents military record is a joke."

 

"Daddy the zipperheads'll kill me."

 

[KaskadskyjKozak]

As things currently stand I like Obama, but I wouldn't be bothered if McCain got into office.

 

you like the guy who didn't serve in the military... wait you just criticised W for that. oh dear

[lI1|1!]

my only consolation is that whatever is happening to me as an american is happening to the rest of you mofos as well (canadians excluded).

[rbw1966]

As things currently stand I like Obama, but I wouldn't be bothered if McCain got into office.

 

you like the guy who didn't serve in the military... wait you just criticised W for that. oh dear

 

Actually he said shrubs military record is a joke. I dont read that as a critisicm for NOT serving but that his actual purported "service" was not exactly of the highest standards.

 

 

[rbw1966]

Only time will tell where GWB falls in the great pantheon, but I for one admire his spunk!

 

Are you sure its not his aim you admire as he delivers that spunk all over your face?

[Off_White]

I have some brush that needs clearing, but I'm not sure I can wait a year.

[AlpineK]

As things currently stand I like Obama, but I wouldn't be bothered if McCain got into office.

 

you like the guy who didn't serve in the military... wait you just criticised W for that. oh dear

 

I just said I have some respect for folks that actually served in the military, but that isn't the bottom line in who I vote for.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

As things currently stand I like Obama, but I wouldn't be bothered if McCain got into office.

 

you like the guy who didn't serve in the military... wait you just criticised W for that. oh dear

 

I just said I have some respect for folks that actually served in the military, but that isn't the bottom line in who I vote for.

 

You said "our current president's military record is a joke".

 

So is Obama's, Hillary's, Edward's, Romney's, Giuliani's, ...

[Hugh Conway]

but I'm sure he wouldn't have gone out and spent his on a new rope every year.

 

No he was a fan of Beer, Bourbon, B&B and Bolivian Cocaine.

 

and you aren't?

 

I'm deeply suspicious of anyone who isn't especially if they've gone underground with their abuse reformed.

[olyclimber]

I JUST LOGGED ON TO READ THIS INTERESTING THREAD. GREAT POINTS ALL!

[AlpineK]

Like I said service isn't the bottom line, but if you do ramble on about your service in the military then you really better have served.

 

I just got a real