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EWolfe

Whoah! Sex with a bicycle?!?

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Sheepskin seats. Understandable.

 

 

"Man who had sex with bike in court

 

By Richard Alleyne

Last Updated: 2:07am GMT 31/10/2007

 

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

 

 

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

 

 

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

 

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

 

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

 

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

 

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

 

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

 

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

 

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993."

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So wait, a man having sex with a bicycle is forbidden but a woman mounting the "big chocolate dildo" is not considered sex with an inanimate object? Sex laws are so inconsistent and often illogical.

 

Now this guy having sex with pavements, I can't even begin to imagine what that looks like.

Edited by SemoreJugs

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Now this guy having sex with pavements, I can't even begin to imagine what that looks like.

 

It was just a crack in the pavement and 50 lbs of Crisco. Standard stuff, nothing uncommon, nothing to see here folks.....move along, move along now.

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Two nuns were biking down a cobblestone street.

 

One turns to the other and says,

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

I've never come this way before.

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Now this guy having sex with pavements, I can't even begin to imagine what that looks like.

 

 

Obviously more than one piece of "pavements", perhaps a pavement orgy.

 

 

Auckland-City-Mission-Pavement.jpg

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