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i_like_sun

Asshole Roommates

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Whats your horror story?

 

My recent guy just turned from dick to utter jackass when he broke his half of the lease while giving me two weeks notice and a giant gas bill.

 

On top of that, his cleaning habbits were so primitive that there are permenant oil stains in the carpet that I'm having to pay for.

 

The icing on the whole thing is that he's probably the most self centered asshole I've ever met, and he's blaming the whole situation on me.

 

I could seriously kill this guy! :poke:

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I had a mexican roommate once named Jorge. He used to sing Hotel California in his thick accent. He sounded like a bad Julio Iglacias. He would get a sad thoughtful look in his eyes when he sang the choruses.

 

One day I came home and found him naked, stretching his penis out on top of a dresser, measuring it. He challenged me to a contest.

 

I moved out shortly after.

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I had a mexican roommate once named Jorge. He used to sing Hotel California in his thick accent. He sounded like a bad Julio Iglacias. He would get a sad thoughtful look in his eyes when he sang the choruses.

 

One day I came home and found him naked, stretching his penis out on top of a dresser, measuring it. He challenged me to a contest.

 

I moved out shortly after.

 

So was the bad rendition of Hotel California that drove you out or what?

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Whats your horror story?

 

My recent guy just turned from dick to utter jackass when he broke his half of the lease while giving me two weeks notice and a giant gas bill.

 

On top of that, his cleaning habbits were so primitive that there are permenant oil stains in the carpet that I'm having to pay for.

 

The icing on the whole thing is that he's probably the most self centered asshole I've ever met, and he's blaming the whole situation on me.

 

I could seriously kill this guy! :poke:

But, since his mangina was tight like man's anus, I forgave him.

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Whats your horror story?

 

My recent guy just turned from dick to utter jackass when he broke his half of the lease while giving me two weeks notice and a giant gas bill.

 

On top of that, his cleaning habbits were so primitive that there are permenant oil stains in the carpet that I'm having to pay for.

 

The icing on the whole thing is that he's probably the most self centered asshole I've ever met, and he's blaming the whole situation on me.

 

I could seriously kill this guy! :poke:

But, since his mangina was tight like man's anus, I forgave him.

 

*shudders*

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Whats your horror story?

 

My recent guy just turned from dick to utter jackass when he broke his half of the lease while giving me two weeks notice and a giant gas bill.

 

On top of that, his cleaning habbits were so primitive that there are permenant oil stains in the carpet that I'm having to pay for.

 

The icing on the whole thing is that he's probably the most self centered asshole I've ever met, and he's blaming the whole situation on me.

 

I could seriously kill this guy! :poke:

But, since his mangina was tight like man's anus, I forgave him.

 

*shudders*

 

tight and vibrating. sounds like you'd be a keeper bend over boyfriend!

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I had a roommate in college that was punching the clown every morning and every night. Those cheap metal bedframes would bang on the walls - you could hear it all over the floor. This guy had no social skills either. This was the only guy I have ever seen go to a party, and without thinking about it, in front of a room full of people, PICK his NOSE a EAT IT.

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Once about 15 years ago I had this roomate named Niehn. Niehn was Vietnamese, but really wanted not to be. He would go by the name Nick. But every once in a while he would go off on these diatribes about how superior Asians where and all this crap. He would see Asian women dating White guys and call them "Race traitors" and fun names like that. What was interesting though, he would only date white girls...

 

Niehn (nick) also liked guns, lots of them. One day I came home from work, and I found him in the back yard wearing a kung fu outfit, a rice hat, and his AK 47 hiding in the bushes in the rain... One time I came home one night with some lady friends, and he opened the door pointing a rifle at us. He was a bit wack.

 

I moved out soon after the rifle pointing incident. But I guess I was fortunate enough not to catch him naked, stretching out his penis on a dresser...

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Had a roommate intent on burning down our apartment. He nearly succeeded on several occasions.
Several times???? The first time would have been the last time I would have lived with that guy...

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Let's see, time number one was a "fall asleep with a lit cigarette" and the second time was "leave a pan with grease on the stove and fall asleep". I was a bit down on my luck and so the option of finding new roommates at the time was pretty remote.

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Let's see, time number one was a "fall asleep with a lit cigarette" and the second time was "leave a pan with grease on the stove and fall asleep". I was a bit down on my luck and so the option of finding new roommates at the time was pretty remote.

 

What, was this guy a heroin addict, or a narcoleptic or something?! How do you fall asleep with a smoke burning? Oh, never mind... I can imagine it happening...

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Many years ago I came home from the bar and noticed my then roommate sitting on the floor of his bedroom, hunched over a small pile of crumpled up dollar bills with a lighter in his hand. Given the odd nature of the situation I said 'Hi, Tom, what are you up to?" He was quite clearly intoxicated and replied that he was just about to offer up a sacrifice to Mammon. Turns out he was ready to torch the pile of bills right there on the hardwood floors to achieve whatever it was he hoped to do.

 

With a little encouraging I convinced him that it would be more fun to go into the backyard and light off some fireworks, which we did.

 

He thanked me in the morning.

 

***********************************

 

I had another roommate that washed dishes at the restaurant I was waiting tables at in college. She'd been in and out of rehab a few times, but always paid her part of the rent on time. One night she got busted for DUI and the cops found some drugs in her car. Not much of a surprise. A couple days later she called from jail to say that she'd pretty much rolled over on everybody she knew. I asked what she'd said about me. "The truth, you're a LIGHTWEIGHT! You don't have anything to worry about." About 30 minutes later I'd completely violated her privacy by going thru EVERYTHING in her basement room/cave and throwing out everything that looked the least bit suspicious. There were literally hundreds of little empty baggies, pipes, lighters, mirrors, blades, and stuff I've long since forgotten. It all went into a big trash bag and into an apartment dumpster a few blocks from the house. What a nightmare.

 

The next roomy was a straight-laced grad student in the history dept...a much better experience.

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wow! Thanks! You are allowing me to see my string of roommates lately as mild. It appears I attract very unhealthy roommates that are unable to communicate and prefer spiteful actions and the silent treatment.

 

Boy, do I wish I could afford to live by myself again - or at least with someone who can act like an adult when necessary.

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I shared a fridge once with this guy I rarely saw. I had one basement room and he had another one. He apparently spent all his time in his room pumping iron and watching porn. His side of the fridge contained ground hamburger, eggs and milk. That was it. No vegetables, no bread. He might have eaten the hamburger raw. I wasn't there enough to find out if he cooked it.

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I shared a fridge once with this guy I rarely saw. I had one basement room and he had another one. He apparently spent all his time in his room pumping iron and watching porn. His side of the fridge contained ground hamburger, eggs and milk. That was it. No vegetables, no bread. He might have eaten the hamburger raw. I wasn't there enough to find out if he cooked it.

 

 

This sounds like an ideal roommate/house mate. The kind you never see or hear from even though they are home a lot. As long as they pay the bills on time, whats not to like? Sounds miles from an "asshole" situation to me.

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well she is still alive. i'm not sure who paid my half of the rent the next month though. maybe he did?

 

i certainly did get to watch since i walked in on them. it wasn't that good. turns out i wasn't really missing much. i didn't know any better back then :laf:

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