Clean Insults For The Sensitive

[Mos_Chillin]

No dirty words! This is the sensitive cafe!

 

Quote a classic:

 

"Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type REALLY makes me puke!"

 

"Your mother was a hamster (hey!) and your father smelt of elderberries!"

 

"You idiot! You, you...bloated sack of protoplasm!"

 

and make one up, too:

 

"You floater of stenchy buscuits!"

[Dechristo]

You throw like a GIRL!

 

[ketch]

May your boat sink and you drown, while your mother runs up and down the beach barking for help.

[Off_White]

Your epidermis is showing.

[catbirdseat]

If your brain were put into a matchbox, it would bounce around like a BB in a box car.

[luwayo]

allow me to submit a curse: may the fleas of a thousand camels attack your right arm pit!

[chesterboo]

Doc Holliday: "Why Johny Ringo, You aint no daisy, you aint no daisy at all"

Johny Ringo: "ughhh, cough, wheeze.....thud"

[luwayo]

your breath is so bad, it would knock the buzzards off a dung pile.

[KaskadskyjKozak]

you have a face that could stop a clock

[luwayo]

Your egotism is nature's compensation for your mediocrity.

[Alpinfox]

 

YOU SUCK!

[olyclimber]

huck you you clucking duck

[G-spotter]

Did your mother wipe after she dropped you?

[curtveld]

If my dog was half as ugly as you, I’d shave his rear and teach him to walk backward.

[G-spotter]

I may be drunk, but you are ugly - and I will be sober tomorrow.

[Mos_Chillin]

From memory, so excuse the mistakes:

 

"Yes, well that's the sort of blinkered, philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artiste, you excrement! You whining hypocritical toadies with you bleeding secret Masonic handshakes and your Tony Jaqueline golf clubs, you wouldn't let ME join, would you? You black-balling bastards! Well, I wouldn't become a Freemason now if you got down on your lousy stinking kness and begged me!

[Mos_Chillin]

If my dog was half as ugly as you, I’d shave his rear and teach him to walk backward.

 

 

"Mind over matter:

I don't mind

and you don't matter"

[olyclimber]

I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member.

[G-spotter]

I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member.

 

you want to be BANNINATED?

[syudla]

If I got smart with you, how would you know?

[Dechristo]

If I got smart with you, how would you know?

 

I'd see the light, with the wattage of a small appliance bulb, go "on" over your head.

[Dechristo]

"Please excuse me. I'm on a high-fiber diet so I have an urgent need to sit upon an Olyclimber, evacuate a Cobra Commander, then wipe my G-spotter sufficiently. It is an indelicate matter."

[SmallShoes]

"If my ass looked anything like your face I'd be ashamed of taking a dump."

[SmallShoes]

- Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

- Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

[Dechristo]

agebottom: licker