Bad First Dates

[thelawgoddess]

[Kitergal]

ROTFLMAO!!!

[archenemy]

 

some may argue that door opening is thoughtful but it's mostly mindless. did he offer up a glass of water w/o be asked b/c he noticed i had consumed all of mine since my food was spicey? i think it's more about the specific actions in specific situations that matter to me.

 

I've had a chance to rethink this and I agree with you Minx. I still like having the door opened for me, but that isn't even in the same class as a man who is able to adjust to the situation and figure out what the right thing to do is.

[Squid]

I've had a chance to rethink this...

 

Pondering spray is a bad sign

[archenemy]

I've had a chance to rethink this...

 

Pondering spray is a bad sign

 

I've done worse.

[knelson]

I've done worse.

 

On a first date? Was it bad? Are you prepared to resist it now?

[Dave_Schuldt]

Ok... so at least some of you got food out of YOUR first date. Here I am, lounging around the front door of some summer maintenance employee's door at Timberline when I here somebody bellowing, "Caddis! Caddis! GET over here. CADDIS!" at like 5:30 in the freakin morning. Just as I'm starting to open my eyes and raise my head to see what the hell is going on... WHAM... something slams into my ass end and raises me up off the door mat.

 

"What the fu....??!!" is about all that can form in my little canine brain before I realize there's some damn dog humpin' the livin' bejeezus out of me. Fast. Real fast. Humpin' like it was some type of goddamn olympic event. Now dont get me wrong. I like a good wakeup call as much as the next bitch down the road, but holy sheeeeit - this was more like someone turning a firehose on you while your still asleep then picking you up and slamming your ass into the wall over and over again - before you're even really awake.

 

Anyway, I finaly wake up and turn enough to see some guy huffin towards us, screaming "Caddis, not now. NOW is NOT a good time." This dog doin me whispers in my ear "Don't listen to him - my name's Fido... I don't know where he's getting this Caddis bullshit." Meanwhile, this guy grabs Fido by the collar and starts dragging him away.

 

Great. Just great. Einstein here whos draggin Fido doesn't realize that Fido has knotted up something fierce and not only is dragging Fido... but me too. So here I am - butt to butt with this damn "wham bam oh oh mam" dog - being drug through the Timberline parking lot... all the time this guy mumbling something about screwin up his time. And all I'm thinkin is "screwing up YOUR time?" Hey buddy... think again.

 

Anyway - to make a long story short, I end up getting thrown in the truck with this Fido/Caddis dog and we take off looking for a place to park. Damn dog finally pulls out, and then doesn't even have the decency to lick it up. Faaaaaaahq. Girl has to do everything. I get locked in the car while Fido and this dude go hike up the hill. I fall back asleep and next thing I know we're bouncing along up I-5, Fido fast asleep.

 

So I guess that was our first date. I tried to get back to Timberline, but ended up staying shacked up with Fido, and as you can tell by my name... I'm still with him. Don't know why... guess I just can't get off my lazy ass long enough to post a "lost pet" on craigs list. But then who can blame me - guess I just like the smell of peanut butter in the morning.

 

[Double_E]

I find it baffling that some chicks will post stuff on a web forum talking about how much of a premium they place on a guy who opens the car door or pulls out the restaurant chair ...... and then on the same website, will post stuff, and even send PMs, asking [,among other people,] guys if they want to go climbing together.

 

Do you really expect people to take you seriously as being a Strong, Upstanding, 21st-Century Woman (and therefore a viable/potential glacier-climbing partner)..... When at the same time, you're apparently living in the 1940s when it comes to car doors and restaurant chairs? unbelievable.

 

 

 

yeah..... I'll do the open-the-door routine for my date or GF now and then, (and once in a great while I'll even go out of my way to do so)....... but if, right after I don't open a door i could have, the girl gets a pissy/hurt/annoyed look on her face ... almost like her sense of pride as a woman just got infringed upon .... that's gotta be one of THE biggest turnoffs in the world.

[Double_E]

Ok, I've just got a manners question for you... Or for anyone, really. Say you go to a fairly nice restaurant for a fairly nice dinner. You're sitting there, waiting for your table to be ready. The hostess comes and gets you, you follow her to your seats... she directs you to a table... I just don't see how to smoothly do the chair thing. I'm 23, and only now finally starting to be able to succesfully get dates and execute them... but the whole chair scenario still gets me. What about the car door thing? I unlock the car from 30 feet away with my key chain... should I still walk over and open her door, wait for her to get in, close her door? Do I close the door before or after she buckles her seatbelt? The whole thing seems so contrived, like I'm trying too hard... P.S. marie you're a tough customer. I agree that by the end some of this dude's actions were ridiculous, but showing up 10 minutes late and then not pulling out your chair is maybe rude, and ordering for you is maybe kind of weird... but when he ordered for you, why didnt you chime in and say "but I want the pasta"?

 

 

nalo.... OK, since you asked ... (and since no one else responded)... I've got a few tips for ya, my young bro. hell, I certainly haven't gotten women figured out, but here's my 2 cents, from having lived and dated for 10 years longer than you.

 

First of all, remember... if she likes you enuf, or thinks your hot enuf, she WILL sleep with you that night (and/or accept the invite for date #2), even if you skip the little formalities involving chairs and car doors. Now if it's easy and convenient, do it.. by all means, do it. But if not, don't sweat it. Actually, LawGoddess (who BTW sounds like one of the coolest, most rational and down-to-earth chicks on this whole site, ) brought up the issue re. safety when you're parked at night in a dark area... good point. That's one scenario when it's probably good (and doesn't look ridiculous) to go way out of yer way like that.

 

Anyway, if the damsel doesn't accept the invite for date #2, or for the late nite extension of date #1, and you suspect it's cuz you didn't go out of your way with the little details and formalities..... good. Yer better off that way. She's probably a LOT more trouble/headache/maintenance than she's worth. As they said in Monty Python's The Holy Grail... run away!!! run away!!!

 

OK. Going on a tangent here, but.... if she offers to pay half the tab (or the whole tab) ... by all means, let her. Wimmin make a lot of money these days.... if they offer to help with the tab, let them. Some will even get a little offended if you adamantly insist on paying it all (no, I'm serious). And if she doesn't offer to pay half, or if she does but in sort of a weak, half-hearted way... almost like she's just doing so as a formality... that should be a big red flag for you. IMHO.

 

 

Bottom line here, with all the above..... a lot of precedents get set on first dates. So don't give any level of generosity/pampering/service/etc that you don't plan on keeping up for the duration of the.... whatever it is that ends up happening between the two of you.

 

best of luck.

[archenemy]

Do you really expect people to take you seriously as being a Strong, Upstanding, 21st-Century Woman (and therefore a viable/potential glacier-climbing partner)..... When at the same time, you're apparently living in the 1940s when it comes to car doors and restaurant chairs? unbelievable.

 

Yes.

How can you be surprised by this conflict? As 21st century women, we are expected to be independent, make a lot of money, open the doors for ourselves, yet still be judged by the old standard of what we look like, how we put out, and how well we conform to your expectations.

[knelson]

...be judged by the old standard of what we look like, how we put out, and how well we conform to your expectations.

 

So true, so true. Us men don't have to put up with any of this from the women.

[olyclimber]

and horses these days!

[archenemy]

...be judged by the old standard of what we look like, how we put out, and how well we conform to your expectations.

 

So true, so true. Us men don't have to put up with any of this from the women.

 

That's "We men don't..."

[olyclimber]

I KNEW IT! YOU ARE A MAN!!!

[archenemy]

I know I am but what are you?

[olyclimber]

Thats for me to know and you to find out.

[Dru]

get a room you two

[tanstaafl]

a lot of precedents get set on first dates. So don't give any level of generosity/pampering/service/etc that you don't plan on keeping up for the duration of the.... whatever it is that ends up happening between the two of you.

 

best of luck.

 

Good God man, if you don't like someone enough that you *want* to treat them well, why bother dating them in the first place?

[archenemy]

a lot of precedents get set on first dates. So don't give any level of generosity/pampering/service/etc that you don't plan on keeping up for the duration of the.... whatever it is that ends up happening between the two of you.

 

best of luck.

 

Good God man, if you don't like someone enough that you *want* to treat them well, why bother dating them in the first place?

You

[faster_than_you]

It's fun to take your date running... that tells you a lot.

 

[Dru]

If you open the door for her does it mean that you beat her in the race to the door, and therefore that you are faster_than_her?

[faster_than_you]

I always do my best to open the door for women. I have southern roots in my blood; I can't escape it.

[foraker]

jeebus, you people are an angst-ridden bunch....

[archenemy]

jeebus?

[Dru]

I always do my best to open the door for women.

 

Yeah, the door of your trailer.