Engagement Ring Cost Equation Question

[DirtyHarry]

Whatever. Everyone knows that if you don't buy your fiancee a super expensive gaudy ring with a fatty diamond in it you don't love her. Money = Love.

[ChrisT]

I'm with you Luna. A 2K diamond ring is a lot of BS. Not all us women are ultra-demanding, materialistic bitches. I also appreciate what mycoatl said about getting a unique and less expensive ring. I thought the opal ring my brother gave his wife was touching and beautiful (and didn't cost him an arm and a leg).

 

Oh and Dru - women traditionally wear the engagement ring in tandem with the wedding band on the *same* finger. I wear an old spoon on my middle finger.

[Peter_Puget]

While my wife was pregnant she wore a $20.00 costume ring instead of her wedding set. She would quite regularly get compliments on this $20 ring from strangers. After our first daughter was born she went back to the real thing and no more compliments. When our second daughter was gestating the $20 ring came back and so did the compliments.

[Kevin_Matlock]

Luna my dear, you have GOT to be ONE UNIQUE specimen of a woman. I like that!

 

My wife plays up the whole "it doesn't matter" bit, but I know she would have sulked if I didn't whip out the rock on a ring at proposal-time.

Most girls play the whole "doesn't matter" thing about as much as us guys are actually scum bags saying "no, I didn't just check her out!".

 

It's all an evil, twisted deal... surprised our species has done so well on this rock.

[specialed]

I'm buying my a fiancee a whole deep-fried mars bar for an engagement gift. That's right, you heard me, a WHOLE deep fried mars bar. I ain't messin around with this one boy.

[dberdinka]

...The reasoning behind this is that the really expensive prostitute would end your marraige, but this one is SOOOOOO Fucking GOOD that she was worth ruining it for...so that's how much the ring should cost.

 

Thoughts?

 

My thought is that you are STOOPID.

 

Seems to me that Marriage is a social institution with conventions of behavior and serious expectations, some transparent and some not so transparent. It requires hard work and sacrifice.

 

Emphirical evidence suggests that men who are UN-willing to pony up for the real thing (a multi-$1000 rock) are generally not as committed to the idea of marriage as those who do. They tend to have the failed engagements or endless engagements where a wedding date never seems to get set.

 

So ladies if your man wants to be buy you something "unique" and you're being PC enough to buy into that crap I wish you the very best luck.

[Stefan]

Should a wedding ring cost 3 months salary, which for people like me would = $0.00

or (and think about this)

The most you would ever concider spending on a prostitute?

 

 

The reasoning behind this is that the really expensive prostitute would end your marraige, but this one is SOOOOOO Fucking GOOD that she was worth ruining it for...so that's how much the ring should cost.

 

Thoughts?

 

Do you even a girlfriend? Hold it. Let's back up. Do you even go out on dates?

[KaskadskyjKozak]

 

You are a rare exception...

 

Typically the ring is just the first part of the pecuniary blood-letting - then comes the elaborate, expensive wedding. I think the impetus is more than peer-pressure - perhaps it is innate or instinctual.

[dryad]

Quite frankly if my man wanted to blow multi-$1000 on me, I'd want it to be on something I'd actually appreciate and use like a trip or down payment on a new car or somesuch. The best engagement ring is the one having the most fun, and mine, lovely though it was, always sat in my jewelry box not having any fun at all because I was too scared to wear it for fear of dropping it off some cliff. That's also the same reason I never spend more than $5 on sunglasses.

[minx]

I'm buying my a fiancee a whole deep-fried mars bar for an engagement gift. That's right, you heard me, a WHOLE deep fried mars bar. I ain't messin around with this one boy.

 

do goats like mars bars?

[dryad]

And the elaborate wedding... WTF? Why the hell would I blow all that cash to entertain like 500 relatives I don't give a crap about. Screw that shit. I'm running away to some desert island.

[klenke]

I'm buying my a fiancee a whole deep-fried mars bar for an engagement gift. That's right, you heard me, a WHOLE deep fried mars bar. I ain't messin around with this one boy.

do goats like mars bars?

[KaskadskyjKozak]

Quite frankly if my man wanted to blow multi-$1000 on me, I'd want it to be on something I'd actually appreciate and use like a trip or down payment on a new car or somesuch. The best engagement ring is the one having the most fun, and mine, lovely though it was, always sat in my jewelry box not having any fun at all because I was too scared to wear it for fear of dropping it off some cliff.

 

Ah, so you do have one then. Now do a Gedanken experiment here - if you never had got one, you would be 100% cool with that? You never would have held that against "your man"? It seems this whole thing works against human nature...

[minx]

i highly recommend the idea of running away to the deserted island. mine was "casual" but still a smidge stressful but very inexpensive.

 

don't mind having the pretty diamond but i would've been if he'd financed it. if you don't have 3month's salary saved don't buy it. if she won't marry you with a simple band why would you want to marry her? and why the hell would anyone want to spend enough for the down payment on a house on their wedding.

[Dru]

Celebrate human ingenuity - buy cubic zirconium "brighter and more brilliant than the real thing" (although it only scores a 9 on the Moh's hardness scale )

[KaskadskyjKozak]

i highly recommend the idea of running away to the deserted island. mine was "casual" but still a smidge stressful but very inexpensive.

 

don't mind having the pretty diamond but i would've been if he'd financed it. if you don't have 3month's salary saved don't buy it. if she won't marry you with a simple band why would you want to marry her? and why the hell would anyone want to spend enough for the down payment on a house on their wedding.

 

Even if you *do* have 3 months of salary saved, you should always have at least that much liquid assets as an emergency fund. Better to hold on to it than squander it on a ring - a wise policy for everyone, not just newlyweds...

[chelle]

and why the hell would anyone want to spend enough for the down payment on a house on their wedding.

Because DeBeers told them that is what they are supposed to do. You all are so subject to marketing.

 

Diamonds are pretty, don't get me wrong. But if the size of a shiny rock on your finger is what you use to guage your relationship, you may have bigger things to worry about.

[dryad]

And does anybody know the conditions under which diamonds are mined? Scary! I don't want any part of that.

[catbirdseat]

Celebrate human ingenuity - buy cubic zirconium "brighter and more brilliant than the real thing" (although it only scores a 9 on the Moh's hardness scale )

Trolling again, Dru?

[Bogen]

And does anybody know the conditions under which diamonds are mined? Scary! I don't want any part of that.

Diavik mine, NWT, has many VERY happy employees

[Dru]

And does anybody know the conditions under which diamonds are mined? Scary! I don't want any part of that.

 

Yeah what Bogen said, Canadian diamonds are certified blood and cruelty free

[Dru]

Celebrate human ingenuity - buy cubic zirconium "brighter and more brilliant than the real thing" (although it only scores a 9 on the Moh's hardness scale )

Trolling again, Dru?

 

Got you didn't I?

[dryad]

Most diamonds come from Africa, not Canada.

[Bogen]

So buy Canadian, and celebrate the grandeur of the glorious north with your next engagement!

[JayB]

...The reasoning behind this is that the really expensive prostitute would end your marraige, but this one is SOOOOOO Fucking GOOD that she was worth ruining it for...so that's how much the ring should cost.

 

Thoughts?

 

My thought is that you are STOOPID.

 

Seems to me that Marriage is a social institution with conventions of behavior and serious expectations, some transparent and some not so transparent. It requires hard work and sacrifice.

 

Emphirical evidence suggests that men who are UN-willing to pony up for the real thing (a multi-$1000 rock) are generally not as committed to the idea of marriage as those who do. They tend to have the failed engagements or endless engagements where a wedding date never seems to get set.

 

So ladies if your man wants to be buy you something "unique" and you're being PC enough to buy into that crap I wish you the very best luck.

 

I think that Dberdinka is onto something here. There are plenty of conventions and customs in society that I don't especially care for, and would leave out of the blueprint entirely if I were designing the world, but the reality is that one has to contend with such things from time to time.

 

The fact of the matter is that the notion that one must solidify an engagment with a Diamond ring is indisputably a modern, marketing driven convention, thanks mostly to the power of DeBeers. There was really no way that the average guy could ever dream of being able to afford a diamond ring until the early-to-mid 20th century. DeBeers also limited the supply of Diamonds they would sell in any given country by the number of expected engagements that would occur in the said country. Etc, etc, etc.

 

However, the bottom line is - even though I may know all of this - if you don't cement the engagement with something that shows some sacrifice on your part, be it in the form of a diamond, a ring from ore you dug out with your bare hands and smelted yourself, etc - every person that she knows she is engaged is going to think you are a cheap, shiftless, p.o.s. and wonder about her choice. There's a price to be paid for going against the grain - I say pick your battles.