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Posted

[quote

I can't believe no one else mentioned lines from a Python movie!

 

"Well, you know your father was a Roman"

 

"What, Mother, you were raped by a Roman?"

 

"At first, yes."

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"Bring out your Dead"

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Posted

"Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

Posted

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...

 

You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Posted
"Sometimes people just explode. Natural causes."

 

Repo Man is certainly one of the ten best cult movies of all time.

 

wave.gifRadio: Come in Officer Labeef do you read me?

 

Radio: Chuck will you stop fooling around?

 

Sheriff: [Years ago I saw five cows mutilated. Legs sticking up in the air. Their ah their ah testicles were gone. I think Canadian bacon is better myself.] I've never seen the like of that.

 

Radio: I have the stats on that car Officer Labeef.

 

Radio: Ten-forty Baker

 

Sheriff: What could have done that to him? Gasoline? Napalm?

 

Agent Rogersz: It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.

 

wave.gif

Posted

The best movies quote I ever heard was from these two nerds sitting in the back of a freshman programming class that I took (Pascal I think). Any way these two guys are quoting 'Star Wars'. They had been doing it every class for the first week or two of the semester. One day this over-weight, 40-somethingish lady just couldn't take it any more and turned to them and said, "will you guys please shut up!".

 

Without missing a beat one of the kids looks at her and says, "Strike me down with all your hatred and your journey to the dark side will be complete." Now that was some funny shit. That lady instantly took off and I never saw here again.

Posted

"Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Hasidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, 'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass!"

Posted

R. Lee Ermey's (as the DI) scene in Full Metal Jacket where he's ripping some recruit a new one. Fahq'n hilarious!!

 

"How tall are you, Private?"

"Five-nine, sir!"

"Five-nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me, Private?"

 

And it goes downhill from there...

 

"The best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and wound up as a brown spot on the mattress!"

Posted

"That's why there ain't a Repo man I know don't do speed"

 

"King? I thought we were an autonomous collective!"

 

"I like to watch"

 

"You make me laugh. I kill you last."

Posted
I can't believe no one else mentioned lines from a Python movie!

Strange women rising from ponds brandishing swords is no reason for a system of government.

 

I fart in your general direction.

Posted

Pogue Colonel : Marine, what is that button on your body armor?

Private Joker : A peace symbol, sir.

Pogue Colonel : Where'd you get it?

Private Joker : I don't remember, sir.

Pogue Colonel : What is that you've got written on your helmet?

Private Joker : "Born to Kill", sir.

Pogue Colonel : You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?

Private Joker : No, sir.

Pogue Colonel : You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you.

Private Joker : Yes, sir.

Pogue Colonel : Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.

Private Joker : I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.

Pogue Colonel : The what?

Private Joker : The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.

Pogue Colonel : Whose side are you on, son?

Private Joker : Our side, sir.

Pogue Colonel : Don't you love your country?

Private Joker : Yes, sir.

Pogue Colonel : Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?

Private Joker : Yes, sir.

Pogue Colonel : Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.

Private Joker : Aye-aye, sir.

Posted

"Anyone comes through that door, you give 'em two in the chest and one in the head."

Capt. Steele, Black Hawk Down

 

 

And my all-time fave movie line exchange:

 

[blonde Austrian climber] "Do you think that we will make it?"

 

[Clint Eastwood] "Yeah, we're gonna make it."

 

[blonde Austrian climber] "I do not think so, but we shall continue on in good style."

 

The Eiger Sanction

Posted

its a toss off....

 

"Be advised. I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat constatina wire and spit napalm and I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters."

 

"My name is Gunnery sgt Tom Highway and I've drank more beer, pissed more blood banged more quim and busted more heads than all of you put together"

 

"So ya wanna be a marine?"

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