A question for the ladies

[lummox]

[rbw1966]

rbw - if you think i would ever introduce a stripper friend to you, you are out of ur freakin mind! might was well throw some live meat in the shark tank. dream on hommie.

 

I'm a vegetarian

[moonrover]

Michael, I think the key is subtlety and coolness. IMO hitting-on can be done in any of the above-mentioned places as long as it's not too in-your-face, more friendly and nice than working hard to get the digits. And if the chica in question is busy actually doing something, like climbing, you gotta make your focus on that rather than on her, or her fineness, or her gender. Also women are sensitive to what seems to be, to the guy, helpful information, and to her, condescension. I think that's a common trap WRT beta and whatnot.

 

That make sense?

 

Wow, I actually agree with marylou.

 

Yeah, I agree too. See, the thing is, some guys hit on you and it makes you shiver (Creepy!!). Others can hit on you and you have no idea, cuz it's really just conversation. B4 u know it, u think he's cool and attractive, or not. Or maybe you're already dating someone. Whatever it is, a cool guy gets it if we don't go for him, and stops PUSHING. Those who don't get it are just annoying. If you end up in the "not attracted but also not annoying and pushy" category, then getting beers together and climbing some routes are in order!

[sobo]

Just remember guys: If you like her, she's too good looking to go out with the likes of you.

 

Seen on a bumper sticker:

 

"No matter how hot she looks, some guy is tired of taking her shit!"

[ashw_justin]

Others can hit on you and you have no idea, cuz it's really just conversation. B4 u know it, u think he's cool and attractive...

 

Oh come now enough with the coyness, admit it you know from the beginning whether you think he's cool and attractive, and you know he's hitting on you (how does that joke go... because his lips are moving).

[layton]

Oh come now enough with the coyness, admit it you know from the beginning whether you think he's cool and attractive, and you know he's hitting on you (how does that joke go... because his lips are moving).

 

Tru Dat!

 

So Dru (or others) what category am I in?

Probably the category.

[Dru]

Mike, you have your own category. It is called "Hobbit Stalker"

[layton]

I think I've found my problem.

See below for a self-indulgent onslaught of self-images the likes of which even Distel32 has never seen!

 

[Dru]

you forgot the one from j tree

[Dru]

mike just remember if you keep trying you might eventually win an award

[iain]

f'ing wound maintenance again.

[CascadeClimber]

Mike, if those were taken on the first dates you mentioned, you may have answered your own question.

 

[iain]

wha? but fern said chicks dig scars. I just bathed all the neighbor's cats simultaneously based on that advice.

[foraker]

i think fern meant to say 'chicks dig cars', she may have just let her own bias influence her typing.

[buterFly]

it all depends on what kind of a woman you are trying to attract and why. if you want to 'date' your approach will be different than if you are just trying to get laid. i've dated plenty of guys that i have met out climbing. most of the time they are so clueless i have to make the first move. you would be suprised at how many women would say yes if you just asked.

 

b) see hot chica, try to climb with hot chica, get annoyed because either 1) she sucks and spends 10 minutes hanging for each minute climbing, or 2) she's way better than you, making you feel all cold and tiny...

 

a tip on dating women who climb because they like the sport and not to meet men... if you are not okay with their ability to climb, and in any way belittle them, you won't get another date with them or any woman they know. i have seen plenty of guys get burned this way becuase they made a snide remark. if you can't handle a woman that climbs no matter her skills, look somewhere other than the crags for a date

 

too bad you live in PDX Mike...

[layton]

too bad you live in PDX Mike...

 

Don't even get me started on how bad PDX sucks

Ahhhh, good ol' Bellingham. 3 more years.

[JayB]

I am not sure that there are actually all that many real relationships destroyed because a guy can't handle his girlfriend climbing harder than him and/or compensating with snide remarks. The primary reason for this is - very few women climb harder than their male partners. This is because on average men are better climbers than women.*

 

I have come across at least a couple of hundred climbing couples in practice, and have yet to ever witness a pair in which the woman obviously outclasses her boyfriend, much less a situation in which the said boyfriend is a dour, doughy, emasculated husk of a man who has to compensate by sending up snide comments from the weak end of the rope. Does it happen - certainly. Is it common? No. Is it common enough to be elevated to "classic relationship killer" status for most women that climb? No. I would venture that in this situation a guy is just as likely to be psyched about latching onto such a badass chick as he is to feel bitter and threatened by it.

 

I have a suspicion that part of this is also due to the fact that for every guy that feels threatened by a female climber of superior abilities there's a woman who isn't comfortable dating a guy that's weaker than she is on the rock, probably for the same reason that very few women are attracted to men that are shorter and/or weaker than they are. Some examples that come to mind are Steph Davis/Dean Potter, Jason/Tiffany Campbell, Beth Rodden/Tommy Caldwell. I have no idea what brought them together or what the nature of the attraction was but it is curious that these ladies - who would absolutely lay waste to 99.99999999999999% percent of the male climbing population chose from amongst the miniscule pool of men who actually climb harder than they do.

 

*Thankfully I am not in need of dates at the moment so I could honestly care less if incite an everlasting hatred in the women that read this board.

 

**I learned to climb trad by following a woman, and she remains one of the boldest, toughest climbers I've ever tied in with. But there's a reason why she had to climb with guys (who climb a hell of a lot harder than I do) when she wanted to hit a route with someone of equal ability.

[lummox]

you know: the best thing about climbing with a chick is the belay helmet

[smiley]

Awww... Poor Mike. There's lotsa cute girls about an hour East of ya! Really though, I'd say just don't be over-agressive about it. If she's cute and climbing, like Marylou said, focus on the common denominator-climbing. If you guys hit it off and start hanging out, there will be plenty of time later on to get a piece of ass.

[layton]

Don't feel sorry for me, I'm fine. This thread is just trying to answer a few vital questions.

And I'll try not to be over aggro, like the time I strangled that crack whore to death.

[lummox]

and chicks are like pitbulls: they can smell fear.

[fern]

 

wow JayB, with all that logic and stuff you kinda remind me of this sexy guy:

 

 

if I recall you kinda look like him too

better picture less work safe

[sexual_chocolate]

This is because on average men are better climbers than women.*

 

Depends entirely on how you measure it. I've personally stopped measuring my climbing performance on what grade I get up. So "better" in this context becomes entirely irrevelant, or at least devoid of the meaning you are placing on it.

 

"Better" for me has come to mean "whoever has highest contact with those elements within themselves that make climbing meaningful."

Outside criteria for establishing "better" (or whatever judgment one wishes to place) become entirely meaningless in this context (for me at least!).

 

So: Happy Climbing!

[snoboy]

read = I suck, and I have a good justification for it. But I am having fun anyways.

 

Nothing wrong with that.

[sexual_chocolate]

no not necessarily. I personally LOVE refining my abilities; climbing's something I'm pretty good at, and I love it, just love it! Refinement, or the distillation of essence of movement, if you will, is something that intrigues me at times more than any other aspect of climbing, and the result of this lends itself very well to the categorizations of "better" or "worse", as in I've attained a pretty high level of climbing, but to me, it's a side-product of the distillation process. If this categorization was to become (and it does sometimes!) the end-all, then climbing loses its meaning (and again, it does sometimes!).

 

Anyway, that's my answer and I'm sticking to it!