bunglehead Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 Summary: Excellent euphemisms for having to shit "I've gotta go, I'm crowning" "Man, I gotta take a dump. I've got turtle heads" "I'm going to drop the kids off at the pool" "I'm going to download some personal data files" "I've got to go see a man about a horse" Please add to the list as you see fit Quote
Thadsboner Posted February 6, 2004 Author Posted February 6, 2004 you forgot "spawning a brown trout" Quote
Dru Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 "Make a deposit" "Drop the kids off at the pool" is such a good one "Export some raw logs" "Put the island in the aquarium" "Do some Ayurveda sphincter yoga" "Recoil the brown rope" "Gronk" Quote
fenderfour Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 give birth to another spineless manager drop a boneless brown Quote
Dru Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 give birth to another spineless manager "here I sit, ass a flexin' givin birth to another Texan" Quote
catbirdseat Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 give birth to another spineless manager Ding, ding, ding! My all time favorite. Quote
sk Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 most commen " I am going to the reading room" Quote
bunglehead Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 "I've got to fertilize my fish farm" Quote
Thadsboner Posted February 6, 2004 Author Posted February 6, 2004 (edited) Dont forget about the Holy Mary Mother Of God! Or the Warm and Cuddly Edited February 6, 2004 by Thadsboner Quote
fenderfour Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 Poo story - I had just gotten back from my first alpine epic. My roomate had a couple of friends over as i stumbled into the apartment with my bulging pack and an armload of extra gear. I was looking absolutely haggard. There was a horrible stench in my apartment. My roomate said to me "dude, go look in the toilet, you gotta see this." I remembered a time when his toilet broke at his old apartment and he couldn't flush for a week. That didn't stop him from using it though. I slowly lift the lid and I see a turd the size of a 20 oz Coke bottle. Most of it was sticking out of the water, leaning against the side of the bowl. I fell down laughing. They then pawed through y pack, knowing that my digital camera was in there so that they could get a picture. After the shot, the toilet was flushed. The water swirled by leaving the mighty bomb unshaken. I was worried that someone would have to chop it up with the plunger. The second flush made it shudder. The third finally knocked th efoundation out from under it and sent it into the abyss. Later, I tried to get my pictures off the disk in my camera. Apparently the pure evil of the turd corrupted the disk. There was nothing on it. Even though I lost all of my pics from my epic, I was more upset about losing the shots of frankenturd. Quote
arlen Posted February 6, 2004 Posted February 6, 2004 Yall foos are wasting your time on women with low standards. A real classy lady isn't impressd with less than an articulated walking fart. Quote
Doug Posted February 7, 2004 Posted February 7, 2004 Dont forget about the Holy Mary Mother Of God! Or the Warm and Cuddly o.k., there should be a law requiring a waiting period & background check on purchasing a digital camera. That is just WRONG!!! Incidentally, I need to take a trask. Quote
EWolfe Posted February 7, 2004 Posted February 7, 2004 Pinch a loaf At Sea: release a sea-run brown trout Quote
Thinker Posted February 7, 2004 Posted February 7, 2004 I rode the bus home from the hospital last night, after a full day of poking and prodding. One of my 'minor' symptoms was a 6+ day constipation, but I could feel it working it's way thru and hoped to make it home before the gates of hell broke. My bus pulled up at the stop, and just as I was ready to get on I had the urge to fart. Now based on the few farts from the previous hours I knew it wasn't going to be good. The guy right in back of me was edging closer and closer in line outside the bus....insisting it get on 'right now' with his body language. So I let er rip a couple of steps away from the bus and strolled on.... with Louie hot on my tail. I spied a comfy looking spot about 2/3 of the way back and made for it. As I passed the folks along the way I could hear more than a few of them groaning, someone even got up and opened up a window. I sat down in my seat, and about 3 seconds later the homies in the back started in with their routine, also openinig another window. It takes a truly perverse person to laugh at a time like this, and I did. I could barely keep my shaking shoulders from giving me away. Quote
ketch Posted February 8, 2004 Posted February 8, 2004 UC San Diego a few years back I was in a class on airflow dynamics, we had a hilarious discusion of farts "following" you as you walked do to the windshadow effect. This led to a discussion of breaking the vacumn by performing a piroette while you advanced. Informal testing showed that it worked. We followed later with advanced theory of "transfering" the fart to someone else. If they are walking a differant course and you do your piroette right behind them it is possible to have your deed carried away on there tail. Not a great way to pick up the woman but who cares, it's all in the name of science. College was such fun Quote
badvoodoo Posted February 8, 2004 Posted February 8, 2004 That is by far the most useful post on this thread so far. Who says spray serves no purpose. Quote
catbirdseat Posted February 8, 2004 Posted February 8, 2004 It reminds me of the Seinfeld "Bad Smell" episode. Everyone who came in contact with Jerry's car picked up the bad smell. Jerry: Boy, do you smell something? Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something. Jerry: What is it? Elaine: I think it's B.O.! Jerry: What? Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must have had B.O. Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this. Elaine: Jerry. It's B. O. Jerry: But the whole car smells. Elaine: So? Jerry: So when somebody has B.O., the "O" usually stays with the "B". Once the "B" leaves, the "O" goes with it. Quote
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