parenting and climbing

[scott]

ok, so it seems that there will be three of us here in about 7 months. i am wondering what some of you who have kids have experienced -- have you had to more or less quit climbing because of time restrictions (30 to 40 hour work week)? do i absolutely have to wear dockers and get pale and fat? have you had to stop dreaming of longer routes in the mountains because they now seem irresponsible (my idea of longer and harder is the cassin, walker spur, that sort of fairly difficult classic)? i have a somewhat understanding spouse.

[Billygoat]

Sure, you'll have to work more, and you'll probably get at least a little pale and fat (plus your hands will become soft and your connective tissue weak), but think of how fast you'll be able to fire in that top rope, and hey, you'll have a whole new outlook on life! That's worth something....

[Jens]

In this last year, being a parent has really cut into my climb time and fitness level.

 

If anyone has any tips for sneaking out for more climbing let me know.

 

Mine are:

*Always keep gear in the trunk of your car so you can go on a moments notice- Even if it is just for a one hour bouldering session.

* Be flexible with plans.

[Norman_Clyde]

In my opinion if you want to do it right, you will give up some of your time now (or in the near future) while your kids are really small, understanding that eventually you'll get it back, and that the investment in another person's future is worth it. Not just worth it: mandatory. These days, society doesn't give much of a nod to the value of one person taking care of another-- but it is what we mammals/primates/human beings are all about. You can connect with nature in a new and different way, by doing what people have done for each other for the past several million years.

 

My fitness level declined during the three periods of my adult life when there was an infant in the household. However, it didn't take that long for small time windows to open up. Lucky for me, I like to run, so I can get good exercise in a very short time. Getting out there for even 20 minutes is worthwhile.

[Alpine_Tom]

This came up a while ago, and someone said, in effect: "I just sulk around until my wife just tells me to get out of the house and climb something" which is an approach my wife might claim that I use.

The first couple of years after our son was born, my free weekends plummeted enormously. He's five now (nearly six) and a lot less work, and I have been able to get out a lot more.

ymmv, of course.

 

And, like Norman_Clyde says, there's a LOT you gain by having a little human around the house, more than you can possibly realize before it happens. Peter still wants me to lay with him in bed for while when I put him to bed. No doubt that'll be a memory before long "geez dad, can you just stop bugging me?" so I'll enjoy it while I can. You can make up the lost climbing time in the future, you don't get another chance to see your kid take his first steps, or read his first words.

Edited November 24, 2003 by Alpine_Tom

[Billygoat]

Tom, you have about a year and a half. My son is seven and that putting him to bed thing is starting to bug him. He is more interested in my reading to him tho. But alas, I am no longer cool enough to be a bad guy when he is playing Batman

[arlen]

Our daughter arrived last May, and I climbed much less often and for much shorter durations last summer. She was needy for those first few months, and despite our plans to avoid the more solipsistic attachment side of the parenting spectrum, it just felt right to be all over the baby. I wouldn't have missed it for anything, and we learned the importance of getting away from the baby for a while.

 

I don't think there are multi-day epics in my near future, but it has sort of formalized the outside time. I wouldn't count on you or your spouse keeping a point of view on anything, but you may communicate a lot better with a kid in the picture.

 

I didn't much like gym climbing before, but now I pull on the plastic a couple time a week or so, and I may actually climb better for it.

 

My second get-rich scheme is the "new father workout," which emphasizes letting all your muscles atrophy to slivers except the biceps, trapezius, quads and pects. That's all a baby really needs from a dad--holding, bouncing, and a couple pillows.

[pope]

scott said:

ok, so it seems that there will be three of us here in about 7 months. i am wondering what some of you who have kids have experienced -- have you had to more or less quit climbing because of time restrictions (30 to 40 hour work week)? do i absolutely have to wear dockers and get pale and fat? have you had to stop dreaming of longer routes in the mountains because they now seem irresponsible (my idea of longer and harder is the cassin, walker spur, that sort of fairly difficult classic)? i have a somewhat understanding spouse.

 

Just give your kids the time they deserve and if you're lucky enough to get out, do everything you can to make it home in one piece. Once the little bundle arrives, you'll fully understand my attitude.

 

You can work out with your kid (even carrying the kid around in a car seat is not exactly light duty). I enjoyed packing my daughter up the local training hill until she was old enough to hike it by herself. You can play a great game with a soccer ball: just have your child try to grab the ball while you attempt to keep it away using only your feet. Every now and then you let your child grab it, and then reward your child by lifting him/her over your head (military press), or let him jump on your back and crawl around the back yard like a horse. You'll get your work out. After a tough day on the rock, I sometimes have my daughter walk on my back (she's only about 40 pounds) to relieve muscle tension. Use a little imagination and you can find opportunities for both fun and fitness.

 

I find that while I still enjoy climbing, now that I have children I'm no longer obsessed with it the way I used to be, and I have no desire to get in over my head (which used to be part of the goal).

[scott]

i am thinking that if i have the discipline and will to wake up at 5am

i can get in several hours of biking. i know i will be really tired much of the time, but this still seems posible, so i am starting to concentrate on endurance and less on technical climbing. this way i can still get out for a weekend and do pretty well at 5.9 a0.

thanks

[RuMR]

I'm climbing the best that i have in a long while, and that's w/ two kids...you get a whole lot more "productive" w/ training and climbing when you have a chance to do it...no f-ing around...

 

Plus, it helps that my wife kicks ass and supports my other passion!!!

 

Kids are not the end, they are the beginning and it seems to get better and better!!!!!

[ketch]

I have to agree with Pope on just given the kid the time they deserve. As well Rumr is right on about it being worth it. I found that the munchkins slowed my time on the rocks when they were little. Stick with em tho, my kids are out and about now and they call me wanting to go climb somethin and talk or whatever. It is so worth it.

[chucK]

scott said:

i am thinking that if i have the discipline and will to wake up at 5am

 

Don't worry, you will be getting up at 5am a lot , and 3am and 2am and 1am.

 

Here's my standard tip for expectant parents. A very valuable attribute of any baby-care device is the ability to operate it with one hand.

[ketch]

chucK said:

scott said:

i am thinking that if i have the discipline and will to wake up at 5am

 

Don't worry, you will be getting up at 5am a lot , and 3am and 2am and 1am.

 

Here's my standard tip for expectant parents. A very valuable attribute of any baby-care device is the ability to operate it with one hand.

You'll end up cookin, eatin, and cleanin all with one hand and baby layin out on the other arm. It ain't a perfect workout but holdin an 8 lb curl locked off for 30 plus minutes is good for somethin. Don't let em tell ya your goin get flabby just cause you have kids. The little ones they can keep a body in pretty good shape. Just not well rested.

[Stefan]

It all depends on your personel priority with your time. Time with your kids? Time with your wife? Time for your climbing?

 

What did I do? I cut back on my climbing. My children are more of a priority to me. It is not bad. It is not good. It is something different that I personally value.

 

I have not stopped climbing, I have made climbing less of a priority.

[lummox]

scott said:

ok, so it seems that there will be three of us here in about 7 months.

run. far away.dont look back. dont give a forwarding address. fyi: 5 years in the french foreign legion will get you a new identity.

[minx]

you don't get old, pale, and flabby until after the second kid

 

relax...you'll figure it out. you won't really know how you're going to feel about parenting, climbing, your job, sleep etc until after the little one arrives. babies have a way of dictating that is really impressive for something that's a mere 8lbs and has a very limited vocabulary.

 

i quit climbing for a few years but that was personal choice and not entirely related to being a parent. if you and your wife communicate there is no reason that you can't continue to climb regularly. perhaps you'll need to postpone certain goals for a few years but i don't see a reason to abandon them.

[lummox]

minx said:

i quit climbing for a few years but that was personal choice. . .

and a good one? uggh.

shit. i bred. and kept climbing. at least that is what i call it.

[Juan]

I now have three sons, the youngest being 3.5 months and the oldest being 7. I did almost as much climbing after our first child was born than before. Not quite, but pretty close. About 20 days a year after the first son. Some was with my wife, some without. I also climbed harder and better on rock, snow, and alpine after kids. It doesn't make sense to ramp up on the danger scale when you have kids, but that's what I did.

 

After the second child, more good climbing, but more difficult to justify leaving my wife with both for a weekend. She still got out, but only about five days per year. Ask Erik Snyder about the time she kicked his fat ass up and down the N. Face of Maude in a day after having two kids!

 

Now, the third child promises to complicate things considerably. Asking her to take care of all three while I'm gone for a weekend is not something I can do too often. I've gotten in five days since he was born. I owe her days off.

 

Fitness level? Down for sure. Too much working and parenting. Body fat percentage? Still holding at 11%. More a function of diet at this point.

 

So, having one kid will not do you in if you take charge and offer your spouse opportunites to do what she enjoys.

 

Good luck,

 

John Sharp

[ncascademtns]

I have twin boys who are 6 now.

I was a climber before I met the X.

I gave it up when the boys came. Well, I got out at least 1 day a month. Sometimes a weekend. I didn't miss it at all. I enjoyed being home with my kids.

Now that the X is gone, I enjoy climbing with the boys and climbing when they are not home.

Life works out.

[sk]

I didn't even start climbing umtil after I had kids. put the time in at the begining... let a season or two go with not much climbing. as your children get older you will beable to take more time away. but it is those first cupple of years where your wife will need you the most to be there, to hold her (and to be there for your child) as your entire life changes. let it change. Change with it. work out at home... read al the books you haven't have time to read... do some of those 3 am feedings or at least get up to change the diaper. create the relationship with your child and deepen the realtionship with your partner. If you go on with your life as tho nothing is diffrent after your child is born, even durring the pregnancy she may never be able to forgive you. my .02$

[Bug]

My wife assumed I would give up climbing when the kids arrived. Boy was she dissappointed. I cut way back in the first three years (We have 2 girls 5 & 7) and have been building back up since then. The hardest part was getting my wife to accept it. If I went drinking with the boys, she was fine. If I was going climbing it was a problem. I really had to work hard to be consistent at communicating when I was going and how I was going to make sure she got her alone time in also. It is still a problem but she has relaxed over time. The nesting urge is a key time. About two months before the baby arrives, she will want to make everything perfect and have you toeing the line. Don't make any big waves at that time. She will get better.

[scott]

i am thinking of letting my dog take care of the kid while i go out climbing. he is a fairly mellow, responsible guy...

 

or just moving somewhere like boulder or bozeman or salt lake where good climbing is very accessible. i'm not worried about it, just wondering about people who continue to climb hard and also have a full life. i would rather my kid have an interesting father with his own interests than some boring McDad. i have seen people take kids to the crag. why not pack one up the walker spur?

Edited November 24, 2003 by scott

[Winter]

[arlen]

Bug said:

The nesting urge is a key time. About two months before the baby arrives, she will want to make everything perfect and have you toeing the line. Don't make any big waves at that time. She will get better.

 

I had an easier time getting out to climb during my wife's pregnancy than before. Maybe she wanted me to get it out of my system; maybe she wanted to be alone to read/think/write/etc. I stuck with situations where cell contact was possible and stayed home during the last 3 weeks.

 

You didn't ask, but I don't recommend drawing big analogies between labor and alpine summit attempts. I thought there were some until I saw what active labor is like. Since I don't dry heave every 10 minutes up a 3 day slog, I didn't have much to contribute from my climbing experiences

 

 

[Distel32]

Kids are cool and all, but I'm soo happy I'm only 19

 

Take your kids out climbing and get them interested and then Mom can't get mad if she doesn't climb.