RuMR Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 You know you’re a trad climber when… all your draws are 12” long • your kid climbs harder than you do • you’ve worn out a set of cams • there is scar tissue on the back of your hands • you shave the back of your hands • you have six partially used rolls of tape in your pack • you quit sport climbing because you can’t do any of the routes • you see lots of sunrises on your climbing trips • you say, “what?” when your leader says, “take!” • your ledge is set up in your room to hold all your climbing gear • you have climbing shoes you can wear all day • you don’t care when your gym membership expires • you enjoy guilt-free eating • you don’t know what your body-fat % is • you ask your partner how much water to bring along • you do a first ascent and report the names of both members in your party • you drop your belay device and you still know how to belay • you read back-issues or mountain gazette • you know how to turn a crack ‘n up into a beak • you know what a beak is • you wake up at 2:00am to go climbing • your drill uses a hammer • you take a nap in the middle of a climb • you spend three hours removing a fixed cam • you don’t want beta • you think a bong is a type of piton • you remember when climbing gear didn’t have springs • you take a forty footer • you summit a desert tower • you know what an abalakov hook is • you still use a gear sling • there is a holster on your harness • you rappel six pitches in the dark • you rappel six pitches in the snow • you drill from a stance • you’re looking down at the birds • you own a hammer and a haul bag • you have sex on a belay ledge • you’re on day 2 of a sport climbing trip and you can’t remember what you did on day 1 • you drop your water bottle and it takes five seconds to hit • your rack is worth more than your car • your best memories are from the epics you’ve had • you have a great day of climbing then find out you didn’t do the route you thought you did • you spend a night hanging in slings • you miss work on monday because you epic’d on sunday • a whole block of chalk fits in your chalk bag • you dump your S.O. because he just doesn’t get it • you wear out a set of jugs • you drive all night so you can climb all day • you drive all night because you climbed all day • you’re up so high the trees look like broccoli • your rack of pins is heavier than your rack of draws • your slings have knots in them • you know who larry penberthy is • you know the difference between a copperhead and a circlehead • you think “beta” is a video tape format • you can shit and and belay at the same time • you wear socks in your climbing shoes • a long approach doesn’t deter you from a good climb • a good job doesn’t deter you from a good climb • Hendrix runs through your head while you’re climbing • you coil your rope • you’ve set up a belay with the only piece of gear left on your rack • your climbing pants don’t stretch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cracked Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 I am SUCH a trad climber. It scares me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambone Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 you are not a trad climber until you have climbed in Yosemite... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambone Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 (edited) ...whoa... Edited November 10, 2003 by Lambone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambone Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 (edited) ....uh...I meant to do that... Edited November 10, 2003 by Lambone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 you are not a trad climber until you are a spaz with a computer mouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambone Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa_Eagle Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 you dump your S.O. because he just doesn’t get it cracked said: I am SUCH a trad climber. It scares me. You got that right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cracked Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 Damn, Lammy, what just happened? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catbirdseat Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 I've looked at that list many times before and I still get a chuckle. There's truth in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 RuMR That was beutiful man I only hope to be a trad climber someday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambone Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 I can pretty much check all those off the list, except: -car is more expensive than the rack...barely. -I wear scholler pants... -No desert towers yet, unless Red Rocks counts... -who the hell is larry panteberthy???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EWolfe Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 RuMR said: You know you’re a trad climber when… you think “beta” is a video tape format You don't have to be THAT OLD to be a trad climber... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelle Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Lambone said: I can pretty much check all those off the list, except: -car is more expensive than the rack...barely. -I wear scholler pants... -No desert towers yet, unless Red Rocks counts... -who the hell is larry panteberthy???? You should be proud! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelle Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Hadn't seen the list before RuMR. Thanks for posting it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whirlwind Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 dam i'm not a trad climber yet i still havn't had sex on a belay ledge. .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glacier Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Lambone said: -who the hell is larry panteberthy???? Penberthy invented the Whisperlight (or its prototype). Climbing mag had a 'Hard Man Quiz' several years back - I think I have a copy of it hiding in my bookcase - multiple choice questions regarding belays (e.g. ledge vs. tied off to front bumper of Saab w/ Dire Straits on the deck), meals ("Some perfectly good rolls someone threw away..."), etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambone Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 hmmm...what does a whisperlight stove have to do with Trad climbing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_harpell Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Lambone said: hmmm...what does a whisperlight stove have to do with Trad climbing? cause sport climbers use dual burner colemans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa_Eagle Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 or just eat at the diner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted November 12, 2003 Author Share Posted November 12, 2003 Ursa_Eagle said: or just eat at the diner Whatever?!? We just open the cage, take the trad climber out and make him cook us dinner...then we put him back after he does the dishes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Flash_Amazing Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 RuMR said: Ursa_Eagle said: or just eat at the diner Whatever?!? We just open the cage, take the trad climber out and make him cook us dinner...then we put him back after he does the dishes... Word, sports climbers don't give a fuck, yo! Smack them crack slackers up and make 'em carry your stick clip is how the DFA posse works it. They start to get fussy, you just give 'em some tape and they keep themselves occupied making tape gloves for the next two hours, an' if they try to leave, you just clip one of their Birkenstocks to the third bolt of Toxic where they'll never get it back. And if they want it back? Hell yeah, they're cookin' you dinner if they want that shit back, 'cause you're gonna have to climb up there an' get it for 'em! Fuckin' A right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMR Posted November 12, 2003 Author Share Posted November 12, 2003 Dr_Flash_Amazing said: RuMR said: Ursa_Eagle said: or just eat at the diner Whatever?!? We just open the cage, take the trad climber out and make him cook us dinner...then we put him back after he does the dishes... Word, sports climbers don't give a fuck, yo! Smack them crack slackers up and make 'em carry your stick clip is how the DFA posse works it. They start to get fussy, you just give 'em some tape and they keep themselves occupied making tape gloves for the next two hours, an' if they try to leave, you just clip one of their Birkenstocks to the third bolt of Toxic where they'll never get it back. And if they want it back? Hell yeah, they're cookin' you dinner if they want that shit back, 'cause you're gonna have to climb up there an' get it for 'em! Fuckin' A right! ahhh shit...i just sprayed my monitor w/ coffee!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distel32 Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 You know you're a boulderer when: You top out and are only 7 feet off the ground The approach is less than 300 yards Your chalk bag is the size of a haul bag You get pumped after making 4 moves You wear a shirt that say "Trad Climbers Suck Cock" While making a move you make an extremely loud noise A rope is only good for rapping down and cleaning a problem so you can get the FA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialed Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 Ahem.... You know you're a boulderer when you: go to take a leak, and you can't because you left your tweazers and magnifying glass in the back of the Geo Metro right next to your bouldering guidebook and techno tapes. But wait... the car's only 5 seconds away!! Its all good after all!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.