sk Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 RuMR said: if you are hoping "magic" will hold something together, i think you have your wording mixed up...i'd substitute "work" for magic! That being said, my family is the most fulfilling thing that's happened to me...even though i'm a selfish prick that climbs too much... maybe that's the "magic"? what? you think mother nature just sits on her ass and all this just happens??? work=MAGIC what makes it magic is when you can make it work. sometimes you can't. you should quit thinking that you understand me cuz you don't Quote
Dru Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 I am waiting for some chick to openly marry multiple husbands cause I got a great name for her new religion. She can call it the "More-man Church" Quote
RuMR Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Hey! I hope i didn't hit a nerve there!...I wasn't trying to...just putting out my $0.02! I'm just saying that my relationship is a lot of work and that oftentimes i (and my wife also) feel shortchanged...that's all Quote
minx Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Dru said: I am waiting for some chick to openly marry multiple husbands cause I got a great name for her new religion. She can call it the "More-man Church" the reason women aren't going to get on the polygamy bandwagon 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you. 5. It is really important that these four men don't know each other. Quote
adventuregal Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 minx said: it seems like there's a lot of bitterness out there. it's love people, you gotta keep looking for the good stuff. OR hold onto it once you've got it! Quote
minx Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 adventuregal said: minx said: it seems like there's a lot of bitterness out there. it's love people, you gotta keep looking for the good stuff. OR hold onto it once you've got it! Quote
sk Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 RuMR said: Hey! I hope i didn't hit a nerve there!...I wasn't trying to...just putting out my $0.02! I'm just saying that my relationship is a lot of work and that oftentimes i (and my wife also) feel shortchanged...that's all no nerve Quote
kitten Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 RuMR said: Hey! I hope i didn't hit a nerve there!...I wasn't trying to...just putting out my $0.02! I'm just saying that my relationship is a lot of work and that oftentimes i (and my wife also) feel shortchanged...that's all I believe this is a normal feeling! It is work to keep a marriage together, stable, strong, and comfortable. It takes both parties and sometimes it is great and other times it is 'splitzville'. Josh - best of luck to you! My advice - take it or leave it! 1. Try to understand her even when she is being psycho - there is something underneath that she probably doesn't know how to explain. 2. Going through marriage counseling BEFORE the wedding is a great idea. I wish I would have done it - it would have been worth the time and money. If you are in the Seattle area - try gottman.com. 3. Don't listen to the single bastards on this thread. When you love someone - you will compromise, understand, accept, and LOVE them completely. It ain't easy or always fun - but very rewarding. CHEERS TO YOU MAN!!! Quote
adventuregal Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Poor JoshK! He writes his TR full of happiness and excitement and what does he get from us but a bunch of posts arguing about whether marriage is worth it or not!! Tho I guess it's good to hear what CAN happen... But best of luck to you Josh!!!!! Quote
jkrueger Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 "There is nothing to make a woman bloom like a change of semen." ~ Henry Miller Quote
Dru Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 minx said: Dru said: I am waiting for some chick to openly marry multiple husbands cause I got a great name for her new religion. She can call it the "More-man Church" the reason women aren't going to get on the polygamy bandwagon 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you. 5. It is really important that these four men don't know each other. you are recycling Daisy's old jokes!!! Quote
RuMR Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 adventuregal said: Poor JoshK! He writes his TR full of happiness and excitement and what does he get from us but a bunch of posts arguing about whether marriage is worth it or not!! Tho I guess it's good to hear what CAN happen... But best of luck to you Josh!!!!! That's cuz we are all wanks... Best o' luck to you josh...beat the stats!!!!! Quote
kitten Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 jkrueger said: "There is nothing to make a woman bloom like a change of semen." ~ Henry Miller Quote
minx Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Dru said: minx said: Dru said: I am waiting for some chick to openly marry multiple husbands cause I got a great name for her new religion. She can call it the "More-man Church" the reason women aren't going to get on the polygamy bandwagon 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important that a man is good in bed and loves making love to you. 5. It is really important that these four men don't know each other. you are recycling Daisy's old jokes!!! damn it! today really does suck! i thought i was recycling someone else's own jokes. i'm not up to the task of original thought today. Quote
minx Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 RuMR said: adventuregal said: Poor JoshK! He writes his TR full of happiness and excitement and what does he get from us but a bunch of posts arguing about whether marriage is worth it or not!! Tho I guess it's good to hear what CAN happen... But best of luck to you Josh!!!!! That's cuz we are all wanks... Best o' luck to you josh...beat the stats!!!!! yep! i was thinking this earlier. bunch a bitterness shouldn't be dumped on josh for this. best of luck to you. it can and does work for a lot of people. Quote
Ursa_Eagle Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 According to the data presented in this thread, there's a 50% divorce rate. For the most part, people keep on talking about failed marriages, relationships, etc. Just keep in mind that half *do* work out, and don't let the pessimism get you down (mind you, I'm just a naive youngin' who has no experience with this.) Quote
Bug Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 If marriage were an easy project it wouldn't take a lifetime to complete it. If it weren't for my kids, I would have left my wife years ago. We've gone through a lot of changes and now I am glad we are still together. It doesn't matter what you have going now, it will all change. We will go through more hard times but now we have better tools for working through them. It is not too early to start working on that tool chest. Best of luck! Quote
Alpine_Tom Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Congratulations, Josh! As a married, once divorced guy with a 21-year-old daughter from yet another relationship, I offer the following: My take is that the biggest poisoner of a marriage (or any relationship, I guess) is unspoken expectations. Does she expect you to spend every holiday with her parents? Does she expect that once you're get married, you'll get rid of that cool Audi and get a mini-van? And that once you're married all your free time will be spent together, or, alternatively, that she has her own life that you're not invited into? It's extremely important to make sure she knows that climbing is a part of who you are, and it's not going away. You won't be going out every weekend and spend every summer evening at Marymoor, but you're not going to put your gear on eBay once you come back from the honeymoon either. Frankly, I'm glad I don't have a climbing wife. I don't get out as much as I'd like, but it'd be far worse to have to tailor my routes and objectives to her interests and pace, or have her decide that since she's suddenly tired of climbing, I should be too. A good friend of mine got married about ten years ago, and they went through a pre-marriage councilling with the Episcopal church (they got married at St. Marks.) The primary thing this counselling consisted of was taking a 100-or-so question multiple choice test, listing a whole bunch of things: religion, kids, sex, family, travel, money, and on and on. You were each supposed to fill it out separately, evaluating each item as to how important it was to you. The idea wasn't that there were right or wrong answers, but to make each of you aware of each others feelings -- and how strongly held the feelings are. She wants six kids, you want none: three is NOT a compromise. But I STRONGLY, STRONGLY, believe -- there's absolutely nothing wrong with two-year-long engagements! Quote
tanstaafl Posted September 4, 2003 Posted September 4, 2003 Alpine_Tom said: Congratulations, Josh! Frankly, I'm glad I don't have a climbing wife. I don't get out as much as I'd like, but it'd be far worse to have to tailor my routes and objectives to her interests and pace, or have her decide that since she's suddenly tired of climbing, I should be too. If you had a climbing wife, I doubt that she'd want to give up her other partners and tailor her goals to your interests, either. Isn't that why you have multiple partners in the first place, so that *one* of them will want to do whatever trip you have in mind? And if you had a climbing wife, your pace might hold her back instead of the other way around. Quote
erik Posted September 5, 2003 Posted September 5, 2003 trask said: love is aid so you are certainly not an aid climber. Quote
Bug Posted September 5, 2003 Posted September 5, 2003 trask said: love is aid I sense an inner child that needs a big hug. Quote
MATT_B Posted September 5, 2003 Posted September 5, 2003 trask said: love is aid So there is some pain and suffering involved but in the end very rewarding? Quote
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